A Thread For Single Neurodiverse people

[RainbowZebraWarrior]

I don't want to alienate anyone who is in a relationship. And for anyone who does navigate a successful relationship, I am pleased for you. You are probably already aware that you've found a good partner. I do not want this to become the opposite of the "support threads"

But I'm aware that there are single ND Mumsnetters. So I hope we can have a little shared understanding. I realised I couldn't be in a relationship a few years ago. I've tried, but I just can't do it. I've been married. I've tried to do the stuff that's expected. But I can't share my life, my home, my bed with anyone. I cannot be observed, judged, exposed. It's too stressful. It's possibly my biggest trigger.

I think there are a lot of cross overs with our sensory issues and it definitely comes down to having people in your life who understand those things. I can only currently be myself with my ND daughter. And even then, it is a battle as to who is going to meltdown first.

Sorry, I can't even spell Neurodiverse

It's been a tough couple of days

Thanks MN for correcting the crap spelling of the title of my thread 💜

I can relate so much. I'm a lesbian and meeting someone who understands is doubly difficult. I have always struggled in relationships aswell and it's almost like they trigger me and bring up all of my deepest insecurities about myself. I think it's always other people who have projected onto me about being lonely being single, the loneliest I have felt has been in some of the relationships I have had. Like you, I think I have had very few people just understand or accept me for who I am

rainbow.

We had four nd people in one house earlier..3 diagnosed and one definitely Nd but undiagnosed....and a fifth NT person...

Definitely three meltdowns going on...oh the joys.

Ex's house sorting out stuff for the children.

I vacillate between wanting another relationship and wanting to be alone. Got to divorce the first one properly yet.

Thanks for replies

@Kobacat1981 that is exactly how I feel about being triggered by others. When it's just me, I can be me. I can't truly be me with anyone else. I like my own company. I don't really understand anyone else in this world. But I understand me.

@RainbowZebraWarrior exactly. It's almost like I feel safe alone because I know at least I won't hurt myself. I think if i met someone who really truly understood me and someone else there is neurodiverse it would be different but it's incredibly hard to meet someone

Can I join? I love being single. No one else around to mess things up (just the kids but that's unavoidable), to stack the dishes the wrong way, to take the wrong route somewhere.. Not having to use limited emotional energy on another adult (even just an expectation to message or call) which leaves what I energy I do have for me and dc. Peace and quiet at home, with no radio, tv etc. Looking forward to having the house entirely to myself when dc are grown, although that's a while off yet.