Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Neurodiverse Mumsnetters

Use this forum to discuss neurodiverse parenting.

Flip

Original poster

If money was no object and you could start your life again, how would you live it to suit your neurodiversity?

18 replies

ofwarren · 11/02/2022 14:08

I would have stayed single my whole life and I would have bought a little cottage in a small village on the edge of a town so I would have amenities.
I would have a small holding, with a few sheep, a cow and some chickens and i would have many, many cats.
I would have learnt to sew, knit and crochet and I would have grown a vegetable garden with herbs too so I could make my own soaps and herbal remedies.
I would ride a little bike with a basket into the village every day to collect groceries and to potter around.

Apart from the cats, I have none of these things

OP posts:

Tellthemagain · 11/02/2022 14:17

ADHD - I think it would just be great to have a full time nanny/ daily house keeper who would also sort the dogs and a PA to organise my life.
I'd have much more frequent holidays , massages etc to keep relaxed.

BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 11/02/2022 17:44

Definitely live away from other people. I'd like to live somewhere like Norway where the people are more reserved and introverted. The UK is too loud and chaotic. I like a small house and my cats.

I'd have liked to have trained to be a medical herbalist.

deeplyrooted · 11/02/2022 18:11

I’m torn between living in a nearby (but not too close) cottage to the op, and living in an apartment where I have a housekeeper who organises my entire life but I never actually meet or speak with (we communicate by notes on the fridge)

Wbeezer · 11/02/2022 18:18

@ofwarren i recently found a hand drawn plan of just such a small cottage i had drawn in a school jotter when i was eleven, it only had one bedroom but an arts and craft room, a library, dog and cat beds by the aga or stanley (i actually wrote that on the plan) and a stable and other such details.
Still resonated 40 years later, if something happened to DH I might just do it!

MaggieMooh · 11/02/2022 21:00

I remember as a child telling my mum I wanted to be a hermit when I grew up. Sadly there aren’t many job openings for hermits! I also remember thinking how unfair it was that I’d have to work in the city for years in order to make enough money to retire to the countryside and be alone, rather than just being able to do it now. All I wanted was a stone built house in a quiet village with a dog for company, lots of land to garden and a local pub for the occasional pint. Unfortunately property prices went sky high so my savings were never enough to earn that retirement.

felulageller · 12/02/2022 00:16

I'm really torn on this as to whether I'd have had DC's.

I really shouldn't have.

If I'd have know I maybe wouldn't have.

But I was so so so broody.

I would have claimed disability payments so I could have got my own flat rather than flatsharing. I could have had an assistant to help me round uni.

I would have studied a subject which would have helped me into a job I could actually do ie more technical/ numerical/ less office politics based.

I wouldn't have applied for any of the jobs I've done or tried to get.

Myadhdusername · 12/02/2022 00:20

I definitely definitely definitely wouldn’t work and I’d have someone to cook for me and look after me.

Kids? Really not sure!!!!

Original poster

ofwarren · 12/02/2022 07:33

@felulageller

I'm really torn on this as to whether I'd have had DC's.

I really shouldn't have.

If I'd have know I maybe wouldn't have.

But I was so so so broody.

I would have claimed disability payments so I could have got my own flat rather than flatsharing. I could have had an assistant to help me round uni.

I would have studied a subject which would have helped me into a job I could actually do ie more technical/ numerical/ less office politics based.

I wouldn't have applied for any of the jobs I've done or tried to get.

Same really on the kids thing. I love them obviously, but I am not a natural parent. I was also very broody and I love the baby stage. It's very stressful what comes after that though I think.

OP posts:

Wbeezer · 12/02/2022 14:12

Gosh, imanother one who was very broody and loved the baby stage, I did it three times!
Were Any of other broody types regarded as "good with animals" as a child/young person? I was and pent as much time with them as possible. I've often joked that the baby stage was like having a particularly rewarding animal to look after.
I do like having adult children, the in between bit was rather stressful at times.

SpaceRaiders · 12/02/2022 18:29

I’d live in a modernist house perhaps near the sea with acres of land on my doorstep, where I can ride my horse. I’d have an art studio with huge giant windows overlooking the coastline. I’d paint all day, every day.

I agree on children. I love my two but if I knew how much their constant noise, squabbling, shrieking would trigger my noise sensitivity and then lead to meltdowns…gah!

Original poster

ofwarren · 12/02/2022 18:45

@Wbeezer

Gosh, imanother one who was very broody and loved the baby stage, I did it three times! Were Any of other broody types regarded as "good with animals" as a child/young person? I was and pent as much time with them as possible. I've often joked that the baby stage was like having a particularly rewarding animal to look after. I do like having adult children, the in between bit was rather stressful at times.

Yes!!!
I was always the one who could calm the frightened dog or would be sat on by the cat who hated everybody.
I do think the baby stage is sort of like having a really cute pet
They can't answer back and it's just all feeding, cleaning and hugging.

OP posts:

BitcherOfBlakiven · 12/02/2022 18:54

I have no interest in living in the middle of nowhere or having animals.

However, I would splash on a Nanny, no expense spared on that, same for a Housekeeper.

Single, 3DC and a student.

I’d also invest in some serious tech to make studying easier (DSA stuff is shite tbh as they’d only give it me to run on Windows, I can only use Apple).

I’d build a house that suits MY life and how my brain works, cos I’d wager most if not all are designed by NTs.

I’d splash money on camping gear and suitably massive car to throw it all in so me and DCs could leave the city most weekends.

BitcherOfBlakiven · 12/02/2022 18:55

Nobody in my family, including myself, thought I’d ever had children, let alone 3

BitcherOfBlakiven · 12/02/2022 18:57

If I had a Nanny so I didn’t have to worry about dashing home/school runs/sick days and a housekeeper who also lives in, I’d be a much better parent.

NewbieDivergent · 12/02/2022 23:46

Yes,I'd live as a hermit as far away from others as I could but still get food deliveries as dont drive.I'd have a dog or some cats.

SpaceRaiders · 13/02/2022 09:24

If I had a Nanny so I didn’t have to worry about dashing home/school runs/sick days and a housekeeper who also lives in, I’d be a much better parent.

I forgot to add a personal PA/nanny/chef/ housekeeper! I always joke that my life would be much easier if I had a wife.

MagratLancre · 13/02/2022 11:31

I would have stopped trying to even understand office politics!!

Original poster

ofwarren · 13/02/2022 11:56

@MagratLancre

I would have stopped trying to even understand office politics!!

That's one thing I'm certainly glad I don't have to deal with any more

OP posts:

Flip