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I currently am not getting on with the world

22 replies

Scautish · 10/02/2022 00:21

It is just too hard. The demands being placed in me at work - the human ones, not my “day job” ones - are overwhelming me. .

I have a whole day meeting tomorrow at a place I’ve never been to. I just feel like I’m breaking.

I don’t think many neurotypicals understand just quite how hard how some of them are to interact with. There is just no logic to some of them especially when in a group situation so I utterly and completely fail when I have to interact in a group. It probably doesn’t look like I’m failing as such however - possibly looks like I’m trying too hard - but I don’t think they have any idea the energy it takes to process all this verbal information so quickly.

I just want to be fair. And I just want to be treated fairly but I don’t think that will ever happen.

I just don’t understand the neurotypical code of conduct

OP posts:

BlackeyedSusan · 10/02/2022 11:18



RainbowZebraWarrior · 10/02/2022 14:48

Flowers from me

And I sadly understand what you mean.


Scautish · 10/02/2022 15:14

Thank you both. Still at offsite meeting. Just want to curl up in corner. The noise in the room is awful.

OP posts:

BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 10/02/2022 19:51

Oh no, I'm so sorry you're having to face this.

Could you get some noise filtering earplugs so you can still hear speech, but so the background noise is lessened?

Does your work know about your autism? You're entitled to reasonable adjustments and time out when you need it.

Sometimes, if I couldn't interact, I'd just sit there and let the NTs get on with it. They'd talk to each other and I'd just remain quiet or give the odd nod.

Do you have a line manager you can talk to about this? Occupational Health?


ofwarren · 10/02/2022 20:29

I really feel for you, it's dreadful isn't it.
I dropped out of university and then had a complete burnout in a job and haven't worked since.
No advice, I just wanted to tell you that you aren't alone Flowers


Scautish · 10/02/2022 20:43

Thank you.

I am open about my diagnosis (Asperger’s). When in the office some adjustments were made but I’ve been WFH for past two years. We’re going back to some meetings hence offsite today - no adjustments made or even considered. I feel like a punch bag.

Despite being open about my diagnosis, I am still expected to conform to the NT code of conduct. Everyone loves saying : oh yes we’re inclusive, diverse , welcome talking openly, transparently and directly but THEY DO NOT MEAN IT. More weird NT behaviour.

I have a wonderful husband and two amazing kids. Without them this world would be untenable. I really wish NTs understood the hurt they cause. (Not all of them of course)

OP posts:

BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 10/02/2022 21:06

Could you possibly explain to them that it's not enough? Explain exactly what it is you need and then hold them accountable? I know it's not easy.


ArabellaStrange · 10/02/2022 21:11

Inclusion means fuck all. It's paying lip service. What it actually means is 'yes you are different but we just expect you to work harder than the rest to be accepted'.


BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 10/02/2022 21:16

They're full of talk aren't they? I had it at work as well. Pseudo accommodations. They're incapable of thinking from the bottom up. Everything is superficial and meaningless.


Scautish · 10/02/2022 21:27

I just want to be given the same respect as an NT person. In my actual job - the day to day stuff - I think im pretty good. But that is ignored and my faults are centralised.

It’s really exhausting.

OP posts:

BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 10/02/2022 21:31

They don't sound as though they're acting lawfully by criticising things which are caused by your neurotype. That's discrimination.


Scautish · 10/02/2022 23:05

I think discrimination can be easily avoided by saying the right thing. The thing is, I love what I do I’m just worn down entirely by the people. People I think may be friendly I think are using me. I’m an easy target. I. Very gullible, naive and trusting.

OP posts:

BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 10/02/2022 23:35

I think it pays to be cautious. I'm very gullible too. I tend to take people how they appear and can't detect what's really going on underneath. I'm assuming there's something going on underneath. It's enough to make you paranoid.

It is exhausting though Sad


ofwarren · 11/02/2022 11:19

Workplaces always pay lip service to inclusion but what do they actually do?
Its like supermarkets with their stupid one hour of "autism friendly" shopping when really all they do is turn the music off for one hour at a stupidly early time on a random day once a week... thanks, not.


BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 11/02/2022 13:28

Those autism hours are disgusting. You're only allowed out once a week 😖

How about lowering everyone's cortisol levels and turn the music down full stop. Or have something relaxing on. What benefits autistic people tends to have benefits for everyone else as well. Those people who want thrash metal or Cardi B can wear earphones with it on.


RainbowZebraWarrior · 11/02/2022 13:46

Sainsbury's 'Autism Hour' is 8am to 9am Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays.

Nope, no good for me, ta.

That just screams "We are purely paying lip service to this, however we want people to think we are leading the field. What we really don't want if for it to actually impact our business during our busiest times"

Used to work for them. Wanted to pull my hair out and left after 6 months. Wankers.


BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 11/02/2022 13:51

Yeah, it's not like we have kids to drop off at school do we?

Sainsburys were selling manky veg when we popped in earlier on. What's that all about? 😮 the Lidl stuff is better.

Tesco excel in loud horrible music so I expect their autism hour is for 15 minutes at 6am on a Monday morning.


ofwarren · 11/02/2022 14:00

Agree about Tesco Barrow, our express one absolutely blasts the music out and also block the aisles massively when they restock so I feel hemmed in and trapped. Had a panic attack in there a few times.


BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 11/02/2022 17:40

@ofwarren tesco is manic. I just send dh in now. I mainly go to Lidl as it's quiet and peaceful and never that busy. Sainsburys prices have gone crazy. I only buy Persil powder and a few other branded bits in there now.


BlackeyedSusan · 11/02/2022 18:49

Morrisons prices have gone crazy too since the takeover.


BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 11/02/2022 20:06

Have they? I don't go into a Morrisons cos the nearest one is half an hour away. Same with Asda. We just have Tesco and Sainsburys. I hate food shopping, it's so boring 😴


Happyharry2003 · 11/02/2022 20:10

This is exactly what I said to my husband when I got home from work today. I just can’t ‘do’ the world and people at the moment. I try really hard but whatever I do, someone thinks I should have done the opposite. I’ve sat in meetings feeling so uncomfortable. I’m 45 and can’t help thinking I should be able to manage by now!

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