I am really struggling recently

[dietpepsi13]

I don't have an official diagnosis yet, but am waiting for that. I am really struggling at the moment. I don't have a great deal of support in my life. The only friends I have are no longer living near me and while most of the time they say they are there for me, when it comes down to it,.they don't want to know about things.

I'm unable to work because I have chronic fatigue aswell, so sometimes trying to fill my days is difficult. I have been trying to get out more and join things, but feel fearful of people because I have been rejected so much. I try hard to stay strong and was always great at being around people upto a few years ago when a part of me just shut down

I kinda feel like my life is pointless right now. I am going to see a new therapist soon who specialises in Autism/ADHD and she is neurodiverse herself, so I'm hoping that will help, but in the meantime I can't shake this sense of hopelessness

I'm in a very similar position OP. Awaiting full assessment and also can't work due to health issues. I feel like I've been in shutdown mode for a while now, and have had to stay away from most people and situations.

It all became too much for me a couple of weeks ago and I self referred to NHS talking therapies. They were really good and agreed that because of my health issues and pain / chronic fatigue (I have Ehlers-Danlos syndrome) I was struggling more to deal with the emotional/ mental health side of things. They basically said that this was understandable and booked me in for a course of counselling.

I also think that dealing with the 'wait' of adult diagnosis is in itsself incredibly stressful.

There is a lovely poster on here who described it as horrible being "schrodinger's autistic"

Hope your therapy starts soon. Hopefully that will help as talking to a ND person feels less scary (to me anyway)

Sending strength and understanding your way. I try to get through each day at a time by being kind to myself and trying to see small joys like the evenings getting lighter and buds appearing signalling Spring arriving.

@RainbowZebraWarrior thank you so much for your kind words. I'm so sorry things have been so difficult for you recently aswell. I totally agree that just waiting for a diagnosis can be stressful in itself. I love your idea of finding joy in the small things each day, I am going to try to do that aswell

Do you think that perhaps you could have some depression? Medication can help lift you out of the fog. Could you consider this? It doesn't have to be long term.

It’s hard when your friends are far away - so much of friendship is about proximity. I can really relate to the difficulties in getting out and joining things. I’m so wary of people these days (rsd)

How did you find a ND counsellor? Mine is wonderful but firmly NT and wary of “labels” and while I really value our sessions there’s a layer that I’m holding back.