Anyone else deal with rejection sensitive dysphoria?

[whizzeez]

I have ADHD (only recently diagnosed) and it is only now that I am really learning about the effect it has had on my life. I only recently started to learn about rejection sensitive dysphoria and can relate so much to it. I have always taken any kind of rejection or criticism really really badly to the point where it can take me a long time to function afterwards. For this reason relationships and friendships have been a lifelong struggle for me. In one way I feel relieved that there is actually a name for how I feel and i have stopped beating myself up so much, but on the other hand, it also doesn't take away the pain of it all. Anyone else have this?

Yes. I feel intensely rejected when my husband goes out to see his friends. Its so annoying because I know he's not rejecting me and I genuinely want him to have a full and satisfying social life. I don't even want him not to see his friends but when he asks if he can go out (we have 2 kids so that's why he asks) I physically hurt, I get a tight chest and feel worthless. I feel embarrassed for feeling that way too.
Having an awareness of it definitely takes the edge of it because I can remind myself that the feeling will pass despite its intensity at the time but it doesn't make it not happen.
I also feel it with friends...it's like my default is to feel left out.

@Yuckypretty that is really tough and I can relate because its been the same for me in relationships and friendships. I have heard that some medications are said to lessen the effects of rejection sensitive dysphoria but I'm not sure how accurate this is and they may not work for everyone.

Oh hell yes. I was born with this. It is the one part of my ADHD that I wish I could fix. It is soul destroyingly horrible and always comes back to bite just when you thought it was being managed well. To NT people often it looks like us being huffy, hissy or (and I HATE this term) a "snowflake". Grrrr. Not to mention being a target...

But yes, I'm recovering from a related incident now. Without going into details in case it is outing a simple blip in communication saw me being overlooked in error for something I had worked hard on where others got credit and I didn't. It's been sorted now, but after much agony and tears on my part (not to them).

Every single situation where I put myself "out there" and it went wrong played back in my head, the feelings of embarrassment, shame and hurt came flooding back and it was unbearable. Honestly, if I had to take on even more sensory overload or further executive functioning problems in order to rid myself of Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria I would - that's how much it impacts on me.

I only discovered this a few months ago and it’s been such a relief to be able to name it.

I'm firmly autistic rather than ADHD, but I feel that I've always had it too. I have, after lots of self reflection and cognitive behavioural therapy, really managed to turn my attitude towards perceived rejection from friends around (leading me to wonder if what I experience is the same as what people with ADHD do, because from what I've read people find it really hard to shift), but with men it's still brutal. Terrible. Months of gut churning pain and anxiety after every minor rejection. Online dating's just a whole barrel of fun for me .

Completely what you said, OP. Hang in there! It’s such a relief to know it’s a thing after all this time.
Inattentive ADHD + working from home has utterly screwed up my previously-quite-healthy professional life, and RSD has played a massive part in that. I get it as a big pain in the chest and just general feeling of devastation, then find it hard to interact with people afterwards. In the office I only have trouble with it once or twice a year - at home it’s all the time.