Book recommendations social anxiety and social skills help

[LemonLimelight]

Can anyone recommend books on overcoming/coping with social anxiety that also helps with building social skills? Or maybe two separate books? That have actually worked for you? I've had CBT for social anxiety in the past but I've found that as soon as I get more confident and try to socially interact at work I get it wrong and offend people and then my anxiety comes back. Whereas the social anxiety treatment seems to work on the assumption that the fear is irrational. I don't have a diagnosis of ASD but I do have a lot of the symptoms, I'm also dyslexic and have a poor working memory and tend to forget people's names and what they've said, I struggle to follow group conversations and I always speak at the same time as others I get turn taking wrong, and I overshare then feel I need to avoid people. I've tried social stories type books but they seem aimed at kids and teens and don't help with the type of social interaction I need to manage for work and school run type things.

I haven't come across any particular books, but perhaps the others might be able to suggest something.

Are you getting negative feedback from people regarding your interactions? You can't help being this way if you have dyslexia and possible autism. There's only so much an advice book will be able to achieve because it won't be able to cover all scenarios and possible conversations. Could you work on your general anxiety first? Have you seen your GP about it?

Yes I get told I'm too abrupt but also that I'm too quiet and don't speak up in meetings enough. Also I often say things that stop the whole conversation and people stare at me then go back to work, eg. people will be talking amongst themselves and I interrupt with a personal anecdote. I have to speak in meetings for most of the day and chair sometimes and I've been given feedback that I'm not speaking at the right time, not leading the meeting, not doing small talk right at the start, people don't feel welcome etc. I really need to get it right.

Yes I've been through GP, meds, CBT, etc. There's so many books online I was just hoping someone had something that they'd found useful as I can't decide. Ideally a workbook with exercises in. I just want to manage work and school parent interaction, I'm not going to try socialising generally so I feel like I could probably prepare for those scenarios.

Okay, I understand. I'll try to look for some resources tomorrow.

Are you planning on being assessed for autism? A diagnosis would give you legal protection in the workplace. I don't like to hear of you being criticised for something you can't help.

You should definitely push for a diagnosis as this would help you in the work place. The problem is, if it is autism no book will be able to change the way you are. You might be able to fake it (mask) but it is really really draining. I've done it in jobs before and totally burnt out from the effort and had to leave.

I'm drawing blanks regarding book suggestions. They're either aimed at kids, young people or health care providers 🤔

I agree that masking is absolutely not the best strategy, but realise it's something we all have to do to a certain extent.

Diagnosis would give you definite legal protections within the workplace.

Thanks anyway maybe I will try some of the ones aimed at teens and see if I can apply some of the strategies. Getting a diagnosis sounds like too hard work and I usually only score borderline/on the threshold mark in online ASD tests. I don't really want to go down that route since I've already adapted my life well enough and I get reasonable adjustments at work for dyslexia which covers most of my needs. I just need some better social strategies for work.