ADHD Assessment - Pros and cons

[Distractably]

Namechanged. As title - just that really. After dithering for literally years I'm finally waiting for an ADHD assessment.

I spoke to DH about it and have been really emotional about it all which has taken me by surprise. I talked to a close friend about it yesterday and even she was surprised because I'm not a hyperactive boy, I've achieved lots of things, I'm in my forties, have a family.

But honestly, I'm in chaos all the time. Life is just endlessly stressful and I'm exhausted by hiding how hard everything is, from minding what I say, from stopping myself talking all the time, from not being able to do anything I'm not interested in even when I need to. Exhausted from never doing the things I intend to do, living in chaos, living off junk food, fucking up my career, obsessively gaming. Doing endless courses in things that interest me, getting qualifications, then never using them because I just don't know how to do the admin and bs.

I don't know if I'm more scared of being diagnosed or told I don't have it. I kept everything spinning until I had a child and then it all went wrong. I suspect my husband is neurodiverse too but in a different way. He was surprisingly ok when I told him about the assessment but I feel like a lazy failure, an excuse maker, a broken thing. The fact I mask it all almost makes it worse because I'm scared the psych will just say, there's no way you could have done X / Y / Z if you had ADHD.

I'm just so tired of finding it all so hard; that absolute idiots can do things effortlessly that I find so difficult.

Please don't be offended but I hope someone knows what I mean. I don't know whether to just cancel it and muddle on. I don't know if a diagnosis will effect my work negatively, I probably can't take medication because of my family history of heart stuff. Is there even any point doing it? I know that ADHD specific strategies can be helpful (e.g. timers rule my life) and I would like to learn more. I don't know if a diagnosis will make me feel an even greater failure or help me be less unkind to myself.

Affect, not effect. That typo is killing me.

I’m in the exact same position as you. Would you try medication if offered?

Can fly as a commercial pilot?

Other than that, not found any downsides. Not had any treatment (GP doesn't do shared care) but just making my life adhd-friendly helps.

So sorry, I just read that again properly. Typical . I think self acceptance is a big part of it yes, and in a perfect world you wouldn’t need outside validation like this to work on your self acceptance but it’s not a very common situation is it? You’re probably hyper aware of the mistakes you make and your general struggles and it’s he’d to say ‘sod it, this is just how I am’ in those circumstances, particularly in a world where we are meant to address and eliminate our shortcomings all the time.

I'm glad I was assessed, but the stimulant medication wasn't suitable for me and I couldn't afford the non stimulant medication. I often wonder if I'd feel better on meds.

It is worth being assessed. There's no magic cure though, even with meds. My ds1 has adhd and takes methylphenidate, but still struggles with stuff.

I'm just so tired of finding it all so hard; that absolute idiots can do things effortlessly that I find so difficult.

This is me x 1000. Have had difficulty with nearly every job I've ever had and haven't worked for years now.

I don't know if a diagnosis will effect my work negatively, I probably can't take medication because of my family history of heart stuff. Is there even any point doing it?

Do you personally have a history of heart problems? It not then there are lots of meds you can try.

I'd say get a diagnosis, then find out how it helps you. It's not going to make anything worse. It's just going to improve the information you have.

@BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation

I'm glad I was assessed, but the stimulant medication wasn't suitable for me and I couldn't afford the non stimulant medication. I often wonder if I'd feel better on meds.

It is worth being assessed. There's no magic cure though, even with meds. My ds1 has adhd and takes methylphenidate, but still struggles with stuff.

My DS found methylphenidate not particularly helpful, but amphetamine/dextroamphetamine (generic Adderall) very effective.

I’m currently on methylphenidate 20mg instant release 3 times a day. I burn through the slow release as fast as the IR. I’m stuck on it until I’ve weaned off Venlafaxine (2 more months!) as I had a terrible reaction to Elvanse which my Psych said was probably down to the two reacting.

It’s not great, but I’m better than I was. I still can’t finish tasks like - wash, dry, hold/hang PUT AWAY THE FUCKEN LAUNDRY

But it’s helped with executive function and emotional regulation.