Coping with having no friends

[rosequartz8]

This has been an on and off issue for me my whole life (38 now). Back in primary school I did have some friends; but they always abruptly ended the friendships without any explanation which obviously left me devastated.

This has gone on my whole life and it's at a point where it is severely disrupting my life and I spend a good deal of every day crying about it. I have tried the usual things such as meet up, various hobby groups etc and I come across as kind, friendly etc but some people look at me like I have 2 heads when I even try to engage with them and it makes me further want to isolate.

I now have the chance of doing some volunteer work and even the thought of making the phone call to enquire about it terrifies me. I really want to break out of this cycle of loneliness but have had so much bullying and abuse over the years that it's really really difficult.

How have others here coped with something like this?

@fantasmasgoria1 I think the acceptance is a hard part of it. I have people in my life who have been around a long time and they want me to be this version of me that isn't actually who I am. So I find myself exhausted trying to play the part. But new people don't seem that interested in getting to know me because I think I'm a little odd. It's like there's this idea of normal and some people just don't fit in.

@Money4icecream I think it definitely gets harder the older you get. I went through a phase of actively looking but I found it quite hurtful that I couldn't seem to make friends easily so now im trying to be open to it without pushing for it.

I relate so well to this post, I have been feeling pretty lonely the past while, I always just seem to be the friend that is there to fill in time or until someone better comes along