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Neurodiverse Mumsnetters

Use this forum to discuss neurodiverse parenting.

What time do you go to bed?

12 replies

AutisticLegoLover · 22/01/2022 18:24

I ask because I e been reading on here about how going to our beds or actually getting in bed is how many get the quiet time they need. My dad was an alcoholic but would only socialise on his terms, was very anally retentive about routine, upset people often with his comments and humour and would fly into a rage at what was perceived to be something minor and take himself off to bed. Afternoon or early evening. He was sometimes very reasonable but generally not and I see his behaviour now quite differently and wonder if he too was on the spectrum. I am very similar in many ways but I don't drink as a rule (baileys at Christmas only really) and I've always been more conscious of trying to be accepted and act normal. He'd just take himself off to bed. I'm waffling as usual, sorry.
Today we have been out for the day with someone who we haven't known long and to somewhere I've never been. The place we were going to eat was closed and we went to a pub where I hadn't had chance to check the menu beforehand and that's usually a major trigger for panic thanks to a history of anorexia and general fear of eating in new places or in front of people. I did well. I was ok. But boy am I exhausted now and am already in my pjs and dressing gown with a cup of tea. If it wasn't for the dc I'd be in bed already reading or maybe watching tv. My friend talks all the time and is lovely but my ears are tired now and I want my bed. In lieu of bed I find pjs help me to relax until I can get to bed. Bedtime for me is about 9pm on average. I just feel happy in my bed even if I'm not going to sleep and will read for hours. And eat chocolate. People think I'm weird for such an early bedtime but it helps me cope with life. Does anyone relate?

OP posts:
DinosaurOfFire · 22/01/2022 18:32

I'm the opposite. I really struggle with bedtime and getting tired and going to sleep. Left to my own devices, I'm usually awake around 1 or 2am! I like the quiet time when the house is empty, everyone else is asleep, the sounds outside disappear and its just me and whatever game/ book/ hobby I'm engaging with at the time. Its a problem though because I need to get up at 7.30 at the latest, ideally earlier, to get the kids ready for school but my natural wakeup time is around 9-10am.

BarrowInFurnessRailwayStation · 22/01/2022 19:47

I shower then go into bed around 8pm. I just watch Netflix or youtube videos with a cup of chai tea and a hot water bottle. I like being by myself, in the dark.

TrainspottingWelsh · 22/01/2022 19:54

I'm the opposite, rarely go to bed before midnight and usually up at 5. I think if I needed more sleep I'd just go to bed a bit earlier, but I absolutely need my early mornings, both practically and mentally.
Even on holiday I need to find early morning open spaces before the rest of the world arrive and spoil it.

ofwarren · 22/01/2022 19:56

I go to bed with the kids at 7pm.
I don't generally go straight to sleep, I read or watch videos etc.
I HAVE to go to sleep by midnight though, I'm very anxious if I don't, mainly because I hate the feeling of being tired the next day when I can't go to bed.
I get up around 7:30.
I quite often have a hour or so nap in the day too.

Morasssassafras · 22/01/2022 22:08

Mine is about 8.30 normally, but then I'll read for at least a couple of hours. I need the time in bed to, I guess wind down, before I can sleep.

rosequartz8 · 22/01/2022 22:33

I tend to go between about 10-12pm but find it hard to sleep a lot of the time. I seem to spend too much time messing with my phone so going to try to read instead

Salaro · 23/01/2022 11:08

I tend to go to bed in the early hours of the morning 4/5am, when I try and get back on a normal sleep schedule I need melatonin but even with that I slip off the schedule sooner or later. I'm just a night owl and makes me feel calmer being up at night.

SmallGreenStripes · 23/01/2022 21:36

I totally relate @AutisticLegoLover . I love my bed and go mostly at the same time as the kids go to bed - 9 ish.
I rock a bit when I go to sleep if DH isn’t there - have done since I was a kid. I can get to sleep without it, but I find it really comforting. I also escape to bed sometimes when it is too noisy or busy downstairs. And especially when we have visitors!

Feelingoood · 23/01/2022 22:12

Well this is a relief! Dp and I are both in bed by 8.30 ish with the kids. It’s just warm and relaxing. I don’t know how people function after 9 and do work etc. Which made me feel a failure! Nice to know I’m not 😀

Ovenaffray · 23/01/2022 22:50

Between 10 and 11 every night. Up at 5am and working right away. By this time my brain isn’t fit for working or anything beyond crochet and music. (One song on repeat per day)

Alayalaya · 23/01/2022 22:51

I like to lie in bed even if I’m not going to sleep. I’ll surf the internet or watch Netflix. In fact if I have the opportunity during the day I prefer to lie in bed rather than on the sofa - there’s more room and it’s warmer, I’m less likely to be bothered by people and noises, and I need to be covered up all the time. I usually manage to get to bed by 10 but if my husband is doing bedtime I’m free to go to bed as early as 8pm.

Blossom64265 · 23/01/2022 22:56

I try to be “off-the-clock” and in my pajamas by 8:30. This used to be bedtime for my child, but now that she is older, it’s simply the time of day I want everyone in the family to be done with their chores and all requests that might come my way to be complete. I need to have that mental wind down time. I often watch tv or read. Sometimes I putter on my phone or play animal crossing, but it’s my quiet time in my comfy pajamas and it’s really important to me.

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