If you have ADHD and can't/don't take medication, what helps?

[MsRosewater]

I have a new diagnosis of ADHD. It explains a lot for me!

It's going to be about 7 months until I can start treatment but I'm really struggling to function at the moment. It's a particular issue at work where I'm perpetually missing deadlines, unable to initiate things through inertia/ procrastination and not being able to concentrate in ( interminable) team's meeting so missing things .

I'm in a new , senior NHS role and the sole breadwinner so not a lot of room to manoeuvre there but keen to know how others manage....,

Thanks

@Woffle no idea - I've forgotten all the things on here

[quote user2908143823142536475859708]@Woffle no idea - I've forgotten all the things on here [/quote]

Medication is the only thing that ever helped me. But I got so used to it that after about 18 months I decided that it didn’t work anymore and came off (and went through side effects)

After a few months it became very clear that I do need it, but I can’t seem to push myself through the initial stages of feeling a bit sick. Also sometimes take one and then forget to take the next 🙈so am struggling to titrate up.

I think it is good that you are in the NHS so will have protection in the form of reasonable adjustments (I know that should happen anywhere in theory, but it doesn’t)

When I get jobs, I always come across brilliantly at interview and have an impressive CV (although, a savvy interviewer might wonder why I’ve changed jobs so many times )… then a few months in, I wonder if they think “WTF?” when they become aware of my slightly haphazard approach and organisational skills (brilliant at doing the work, but bad at filling in the form afterwards to show I did the work, for example. These things add up..)

I was once told my a former manager : “You’re either absolutely brilliant or you make sloppy mistakes, I just can’t understand it”. She knew I have ADHD by this time but couldn’t seem to see the connection.

[quote user2908143823142536475859708]@Woffle no idea - I've forgotten all the things on here [/quote]

Really glad you took something helpful from the WOOP technique @Woffle . Sorry you didn't, @AlexaShutUp

I came across it when I did a happiness course through the coursera website. I like it partly because it's got some fairly solid science behind it, but - of course - nothing works for everyone.

Anyway, I'm trying in this thread instead of starting work, so...

I'm trying the 3 things technique today although I didn't spend much time pondering over it.

My tip for the day is to add an alarm on your phone for things that are coming up over the day (or next day within 24 hours) that you're likely to forget, eg a meeting or online yoga class etc. Many's time I have glanced at the clock and realised I've missed something.

With ADHD it's really important to act as soon as you think of something!! My coach talked about how for ADHD there's now and not now...things that are happening in the future are likely to get wiped from the mental screen almost immediately.
So if you think of something you need to do, either do it right away or write a note or set a reminder.

@PastelFlowerJelly the coffee bit is interesting. I love coffee, but drink decaf. Do you come across anything about the effect with decaff? I don't think medication will be an option for me, so looking for other ways to increase dopamine. How / when do you do your 1h exercise? Do you ever do it twice in one day???

[quote peoniesarejustperfect]@PastelFlowerJelly the coffee bit is interesting. I love coffee, but drink decaf. Do you come across anything about the effect with decaff? I don't think medication will be an option for me, so looking for other ways to increase dopamine. How / when do you do your 1h exercise? Do you ever do it twice in one day???[/quote]
I can't tolerate caffeine and drink a lot of decaf, unfortunately it has no magical effect 😄

But I do take very small doses of stimulants, not every day. Just the maximum that my body can tolerate and it does have enough effect to be worthwhile.

My set-up is:

Notion as my planner/life management system (bit of faffing to get it set up but once you do - game changer)

ROUTINES - hate them but need them, every evening before bed I shower, skincare, yoga, journal, teeth. Now it's like a Pavlovian thing and I am better at general washing/self care.

Accept the 'nope'. Redirect energy when the brain just isn't braining: can't do X? Okay, fine. Stop trying, cos shame and frustration just makes it worse, redirect, do something else, get your dopamine fix and see if that helps break the deadlock.

Actually being hydrated - 2.5 litres a day or my brain jams up like an old printer.

Movement - hate 'exercising' but frequently walk round my house dictating notes into my phone for work, then when I sit back down I'm already locked into the task cos the movement helps. If I'm fuzzy and can't make myself do something, full-body-shake-out and a bit of light screeching like a pterodactyl helps snap me out of it.

Dunk face in cold water. Supposedly good for calming anxiety, and I find it helps me stop the 'should be doing X / not doing X so anxious / too anxious to do X' spiral.

Pomodoro. But don't beat yourself up if you ignore it sometimes - all my ADHD tools are 'if they're working good, if they're not it's okay'.

Visibility. Something I need to do regularly? GOTTA be able to see it. Bin collection schedule taped to a cupboard I see every day, or the bins do not exist to me. Skincare lives in a box on my desk. My calendar is on my phone homescreen in a widget, my desktop as a widget, and hung up in a paper version on the wall. Need to remember to do X tomorrow? Put the thing, or a note about the thing, or a letter relating to the thing, or whatever, ON THE DINING ROOM TABLE RIGHT NOW BEFORE IT CEASES TO EXIST IN YOUR MIND. Open wardrobes, so I can see when I have no clothes and it's not a fun surprise to discover I have no clean jeans 5 minutes before I need to leave the house. Put my car keys by the thing I need for the next day. And so on..

Tile trackers. I know, you know, we all know I'm gonna lose my keys, the TV remote, and my favourite water bottle 402383892 times a week. Tile tracker that shit. Worth every penny.

The 'do it the second you think of it' thing just helped me do a thing. Unfortunately I then thought of MN and ended up back here..

Loving this thread! Full of really good tips

After finding out my GP didn’t send my right to choose referral until 3 months after I asked… despite sending my NHS one the same day I have now paid to go private.

If anyone has used ‘clinical partners’ could they please tell me how they found them as I’m worried after reading reviews. My assessment is in 2 weeks, compared to 2024 via right to choose.

I am terrified and now convincing myself I’ve made it all up. Can anyone relate?

@CharlotteMaytimes Thank you for your posts - very helpful for me. I currently use bits of papers, notepads - anything lying around for my to-do lists but think it's time to do them on the phone - as you say, no loosing it. Well hopefully not... Do you use Apple Notes? How do you get it to number 1-12 and how do you move them around? I found it really difficult. Do you set a new note for each day? Thank you

@ThatsAllFolks You sound like a wonderful mentor - what a lucky guy to start his career in such a positive way 😃

@Drivingish Thank you for your help, that makes total sense!

@Woffle

Self diagnosed adhd here, but runs in the the family.

I found the way to get nasty work tasks done!
So it is a bit like the ‘eat that frog’ where you get the worst thing on your list out the way. The books is great by the way.

But with my way, you identify the thing that your really don’t want to do. Then you use it to make yourself do everything else on your list. So if a nasty work task, think of a worst one and do the nasty task first.

Does that make sense?

Top tip: work in a support function that is highly reactive. So much easier

I exercise every day but it has taken me 15 years to get there.
Marry a neurotypical and lean in!
Never rely in your memory. Always write everything down.
Lists categorised by ‘online’ ‘home’ ‘work’ in the notes app and rearrange as necessary.
Kondo.
Let as much stuff go as you can
Meditation.
Be kind to yourself, it ain’t gonna get better so you just have to use whatever helps.

Haha @soberdovered - I wish I'd followed your 'marry a neurotypical' advice! DH has ADHD too... our house is chaos

Marry a neurotypical and lean in!

Is there an ADHD guide to finding a NT willing to get past the first date? Or is that just me?

@housemaus

OMG I can’t even imagine. Without DH I would live in chaos. Without him and technology I wouldn’t know what day or week or month or year it was. I once asked him where I would be without him (we were on the tube) and he said ‘in prison’. I also have a low morale compass. Not sure if that is related.

Invest in apple products and use them as an out sourced brain.

Exercise - Apple Watch will really help. Set a low goal and then slowly increase it.

Over all try to really cut down on the things to worry about. I know that is easy to say but keep things really simple.

My 14 year old ds is now more organised and capable than me. So unless a 12 year old can do it, I don’t bother to try.

Schedule one thing a day.

Luckily DH also does all the cooking - I find food and cooking use up about 75% of my thinking capacity.

Amazon Alexa in every room is a lifesaver for me too. I set 5 minute timers for shitty jobs, alarms to remind me about stuff (3 alarms for school pick up, I wish I was joking), get her to add stuff to to do list etc.

@Woffle

Does anyone else stay up far too late? As though you have procrastination around going to bed?! Same old refrain here - I want to go to bed, I need to go to bed - I can't go to bed!

Yes it's my worst symptom. I have been desperately trying to stop for years. Reply tried to focus on it as a New Years resolution and bitterly failing. Am doing it right now. Have to work tomorrow and should have staring going up to bed two hours ago. Didn't get into bed before three am all (3 day) weekend. I'm driving myself mad!

Same. It's pathetic really.

I can’t read the whole thread like I want to. You’ll all understand.
I am medicated. But even then, life is hard. I’m really struggling with work at the moment. I say ‘at the moment’ but it’s always really. I change jobs frequently, or used to pre-DC (every few years). I think this was a way to relieve boredom, stop people noticing how crap I was, throw away all my accumulated crap and start afresh.
Current job is too hard for me really. Intellectually, I can do it. I KNOW things. I just don’t DO them. Unless my brain is ready. So hard to plan my day, my week, my month.
It’s a very autonomous role but people rely on it. I got an email from the Access to Work link I followed yesterday, but the process means that my work need to know, and may have to contribute financially.
So there are two massive blocks in the way and I probably won’t do it, despite knowing it would really help.

@HereticFanjo

Amazon Alexa in every room is a lifesaver for me too. I set 5 minute timers for shitty jobs, alarms to remind me about stuff (3 alarms for school pick up, I wish I was joking), get her to add stuff to to do list etc.

I do this. It's my lifesaver. I tend to either flit and forget a task in moments, or hyper focus to the point that time stands still.

My children have been know to come and find me when they are hungry because I've been 'sucked into the vortex' as it's called in out house.

Alexa does make my time more productive and certainly my children get fed now!

Yes I forget to eat / cook and then have awful mum guilt. I can say it helps raise independent children capable of getting a snack. The vortex is an excellent word for it.

Don’t get me started on the Mum guilt