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Neurodiverse Mumsnetters

Use this forum to discuss neurodiverse parenting.

If you have ADHD and can't/don't take medication, what helps?

312 replies

MsRosewater · 14/01/2022 21:57

I have a new diagnosis of ADHD. It explains a lot for me!

It's going to be about 7 months until I can start treatment but I'm really struggling to function at the moment. It's a particular issue at work where I'm perpetually missing deadlines, unable to initiate things through inertia/ procrastination and not being able to concentrate in ( interminable) team's meeting so missing things .

I'm in a new , senior NHS role and the sole breadwinner so not a lot of room to manoeuvre there but keen to know how others manage....,

Thanks

OP posts:
Myadhdusername · 16/01/2022 19:00

I’ve never managed to get on top of my ADHD.

Myadhdusername · 16/01/2022 19:02

@Stroopwaffle5000 - same. I don’t know how people with ADHD managed to input these things that we need.

AlexaShutUp · 16/01/2022 19:32

I'm glad that I'm not the only onewho struggles to find strategies that work. I accept that eating well, getting plenty of sleep, exercising regularly etc will help, but I really struggle with all of these I make lists, set timers, use pomodoros etc I even tried the woop thing after reading this thread. I don't seem able to make things work for me.

I have been procrastinating all weekend about work that I had planned to do to catch up on what I didn't get done in work last week. I sat at my computer for a while but got nothing done. I really want to do this stuff because I care about the work and want to do a good job, plus not having it done is massively stressing me out, but I just can't seem to manage it.

I'm stuck, and I'm really sick of being stuck.Sad

MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 16/01/2022 19:33

(((Hugs))) to everyone here who is struggling. I feel very much the same. It’s relentless and exhausting and I feel so embarrassed about my lack of ability to do anything.

AlexaShutUp · 16/01/2022 19:36

Thanks @MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry. Hugs back at you Embarrassed doesn't even touch it tbh - I'm so deeply ashamed of my inability to motivate myself to do the most basic of things.

SuffolkBargeWoman · 16/01/2022 19:38

@AlexaShutUp
Have you tried listening to the podcast linked upthread? A real eye opener.

AlexaShutUp · 16/01/2022 19:46

I haven't @SuffolkBargeWoman. I will try that, thank you.

AlexaShutUp · 16/01/2022 19:49

Struggling to find the link to the podcast now, can anyone remind me what it was called?

NaughtyButNice · 16/01/2022 19:59

If you want to go through private diagnosis but GP refilling prescriptions in the future you have to ask your GP if they will accept shared care before you go to see a private psychiatrist.

If your current GP doesn't accept shared care you can always phone around to see if any local to you do and request to move there.

My psychiatrist completed the assessment and the titration. Luckily for me the first medication worked and it cost £80 for all of the titration paid privately. Other medications do cost significantly more. Diagnosis and titration cost a little over £800.

The expense was a concern but I'm really glad I did go through with it as medication was a game changer for me, especially when I had to focus to study.

AlexaShutUp · 16/01/2022 20:06

@NaughtyButNice

If you want to go through private diagnosis but GP refilling prescriptions in the future you have to ask your GP if they will accept shared care before you go to see a private psychiatrist.

If your current GP doesn't accept shared care you can always phone around to see if any local to you do and request to move there.

My psychiatrist completed the assessment and the titration. Luckily for me the first medication worked and it cost £80 for all of the titration paid privately. Other medications do cost significantly more. Diagnosis and titration cost a little over £800.

The expense was a concern but I'm really glad I did go through with it as medication was a game changer for me, especially when I had to focus to study.

Thank you, this is really helpful.
Lovemusic33 · 16/01/2022 20:22

I have suspected ADHD (not sealing a diagnosis as I don’t want medication), things that help me….

Sticking to a routine
Exercising every day (walking, swimming, gym)
Setting reminders on my phone
Writing notes for myself and writing lists
Meal planning
Emailing myself reminders

The worst thing for me is my memory (short term) so I have to do all the things above or I will forget what I’m doing. I remember big events but forget simple things like brushing my teeth and putting the rubbish out. Going for a walk early in the morning allows me to talk through what I need to do for the rest of the day (in my head).

TrainspottingWelsh · 16/01/2022 20:30

As far as exercise goes, you need a reason. Putting aside the fun horse stuff, when it comes to mundane yard work, I can always do it because the horses would suffer if I didn't. Whereas it really doesn't matter whether I vacuum or join a gym. Riding and being around the horses is completely different because it covers everything from calm to adrenaline highs.
As I've always had horses my only experience of coping with adhd without them is on holiday or short trips. I can motivate myself to eg ski or climb because I know it will result in the buzz I crave. Motivating myself for some anal run on a beach just wouldn't ever happen.
I would suggest either finding an activity that gives you a high, or one with accountability.

MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 16/01/2022 20:32

I find when I am doing physical stuff that is routine (I dont need to concentrate on them) like cleaning, washing my hair, walking the dog I get lots of “working things out” done in my head. I’m far more able to decide what I need to do/how/when/in what order during these times than if I sat down at home with a pen and paper and tried to plan them.

CharlotteMaytimes · 16/01/2022 21:36

Exercise: lay out your kit the night before (everything, from sports bra, socks, clothes, trainers, keys, headphones, in the order you need them) so when your alarm goes off you just roll out of bed, into kit, out door, no thinking or deciding. Even better if you meet someone so can’t back out or change mind, and early morning people don’t look at their phones to check if it’s still on.

Paralysis: pomodoro for 15 mins with a notebook next to the timer. Any time an intrusive or distracting thought comes in, jot it on the notebook and looking into that will be your reward on the pomodoro break, which at any time will be only 15 mins or less away. The more you do it, the more the ADHD brain gets into the tramtracks of your work and you’ll find you want the breaks less and less.

Notebooks: only ever use the notes function on my phone. No losing it, easy to move items around for each day. Have no more than 12 items for each day, then a gap, then other things that will be ongoing, do at some time, do tomorrow, etc, so I can view them if I’m desperate for a new thing to do but can also see clearly what I’m meant to do today in the list of >12 (must do at the top, ideally do lower down).

Courage, fellow-ADHDers x

CharlotteMaytimes · 16/01/2022 21:45

Also seconding alone time and scheduling. Put into family/shared calendar alone time, and use one slice of that time to do your scheduling which goes on a list on your phone and in a public place in the house. Include meal lists and everyone’s activities for each week, plus the days you’ll get up and do your exercise (same days every week, so you don’t have to decide).

Remove choice from your week - don’t leave it until 5pm to choose what the meal is. Tuesday? Check list: it’s a pasta bake! 9.30pm? Alarm going off - time to lay out your exercise clothes for the next morning and lie in bed making your list for the next day.

It’s thanks to Mumsnet I realised I had ADHD and got a diagnosis for my DD. It feels much less lonely and overwhelming with all you bright sparks here in the same boat.

Drunkpanda · 16/01/2022 22:02

@jerometheturnipking

Does anyone know if it's true that the NHS won't recognise a private diagnosis? I could pay for the assessment but can't really afford to keep shelling out for the prescription indefinitely.

Having spoken to a GP friend, I know it's true in Scotland. It's why I haven't pursued my own diagnosis any further - I have no hope of being seen in my trust as the backlog is simply so massive for child diagnoses, and I can't afford to go private for the foreseeable.

I don't know if our private adhd clinic might be telling porkies, but we were told it very much depended on the GP. We were certainly encouraged to speak to the GP (which I'm doing this week) about shared care. It's not as if we don't want an NHS diagnosis, cahms waiting lists are insane.
santasgnome · 16/01/2022 22:04

Lists.

Someone to sound off your goals and make sure they're reasonable/achievable

Alexa is so helpful for me

jerometheturnipking · 16/01/2022 22:16

That’s fair @Drunkpanda. My friend was speaking on her experiences in our trust. I go between thinking I’ve got coping strategies sort of figured out so what’s the point in going through a rigmarole (even down to having to 1) make a gp appointment and 2) get time off work to attend an appointment), and that I’d really benefit from a diagnosis and don’t want the disappointment of being told they’re not referring adults for assessment in our trust just now. I’m also terrified of being thought of as unsuitable for my job (teaching) if I disclose a diagnosis, or being assessed, or ask for adjustments on the back of this (eg notice given of changes to schedules/routines so I can plan).

Drunkpanda · 16/01/2022 22:50

Right now they'd probably do a phone appointment with you Jerome so a bit easier time wise? Schools will be up on the equality act so they've really no excuse for treating you badly if you have something that affects your organisation! Not saying there might not be bad ones but to me getting through school, a degree and teaching with adhd is something to celebrate not to criticise.

ThatsAllFolks · 16/01/2022 23:00

I do similar job to u OP in similar life circs. My NHS organisation just launching Read&Write software. I watched the functionality intro with my 21yo uni student son with ADD. He really loved it and has downloaded a trial. So maybe Ur org has it or wd get it for u ( it helps all not just non NT) or u cd look at it urself. I try to put a scaffold of organisation around him. Eisenhower method of task prioritization, diary management, pomodoro, grammar etc. I'm seeing slow improvement. I try to get him to celebrate his strengths from the ADD ie creativity and major on those and to be kind to himself cos he gets so frustrated.

Drivingish · 16/01/2022 23:47

[quote peoniesarejustperfect]@Woffle - wow, what an exciting time you have ahead. Good luck with TTC and a new house too. It took us eons to conceive and we had some help in the end and I remember how intense it all was. Lots of self care helps.

@Drivingish - I am going to try that. Sorry, bit of an idiot question, but do you reset the timer every time you refocus?

Loving this thread and wish we could all support each other in real life.[/quote]
There's no stupid questions Smile - if I'm getting distracted I try to just refocus and don't stop the timer but if I can't keep focused and seem determined to get off task that's when I stop the timer and take the break.

iknowimcoming · 16/01/2022 23:58

@AlexaShutUp - I was diagnosed at 49 (privately) and have had no problems with shared care prescriptions (south-east England)

reallyworriedjobhunter · 17/01/2022 00:01

Shameless follow

Woffle · 17/01/2022 08:03

Morning folks! What are we going to try that’s different today? Smile

Iguessyourestuckwithme · 17/01/2022 08:13

@Woffle

Morning folks! What are we going to try that’s different today? Smile
It's taken me 20 years but I found that if I cut up all the fruit and veg and do some batch cooking I actually eat properly in the evening! Shock Shock so today I'm making myself do 30 minutes quick meals - best buy recently was a soup maker, it also makes the thicker casserole sauce so I've been using up all my battered veg, (the stuff I'm not cutting up for snack, who knew I eat veg if its cut up in the fridge) and making soups and also faster casseroles for dinner.

I'm also speaking to an adhd coach

I also want to start my self care book today

Also need to restart my chore tags again. They are a lifesaver when I use them.