If you have ADHD and can't/don't take medication, what helps?

[MsRosewater]

I have a new diagnosis of ADHD. It explains a lot for me!

It's going to be about 7 months until I can start treatment but I'm really struggling to function at the moment. It's a particular issue at work where I'm perpetually missing deadlines, unable to initiate things through inertia/ procrastination and not being able to concentrate in ( interminable) team's meeting so missing things .

I'm in a new , senior NHS role and the sole breadwinner so not a lot of room to manoeuvre there but keen to know how others manage....,

Thanks

@AlexaShutUp

Can I ask you about the diagnosis process, *@MsRosewater*? Did they talk to your family or ask for questionnaires to be completed?

I am currently awaiting an assessment and I'm not sure what to expect.

I was sent a bunch of questionnaires to fill in (and a deadline which of course I missed and had to send a grovelling 'Please can I have another go?' email). The ones I did were about now and childhood. There were a couple which my husband filled in too about our daily life and my behaviours. Oh and a ' how is your heart' one.

The actual assessment is was a surprisingly quick virtual consultation!

I'm not medicated by choice. Personally I find it doesn't really help because it doesn't stop my brain having 400 windows open at once, but just takes away the energy to keep track of them all.
I suppose that's not entirely accurate, in my teens when my friends were experimenting with drugs to dance all night I discovered I could take far larger doses and have the ability to do boring schoolwork, but even then I had enough sense to realise that wasn't a good habit to start. It's quite possible that now there might be something legal I could safely take in large enough doses to work, but tbh I've learned to live with it. Caffeine doesn't really make much difference to me, it takes an awful lot of anything for me to get a high from anything.

Horses, exercise and lifestyle are how I manage. I think if I hadn't been raised with the former I'd have developed another adrenaline rush, but that still wouldn't give me everything they do. I also know that the advantages adhd gave me horse wise are why I don't view adhd as a negative.

Probably not very helpful for most people, but I think the learning through habit can be translated into none horsey lifestyles. Eg my belongings go in the exact same place every time same as my halter went on the same peg as a child.

I play 'allowed distractions' at anytime I can't hyper focus. So eg boring work meetings I can fiddle with something, fidget and plan routine client work because I can do them concurrently. But I don't allow myself to go off on a mental tangent that will prevent me taking in the salient points of the meeting.

Could have written your post almost to the letter. I have a basket of fidget toys on my desk for online meetings. No one can see those. Obviously face to face they wouldn’t feature. I would say exercise but I need to re establish a routine…

[quote MsRosewater]@shantoto I have spent so much money on lists, planners, diaries, notebooks,apps etc- I get teased about my stationary habit. Turns out having 10 disparate systems on the go , none of which you use consistently, isn't v effective 🤦‍♀️[/quote]
This is the problem I have.

There is no one magical solution for me, just a series of things that I engage with for a while and then stop using.

In a way it's better to accept this. I'm not going to be consistent snd it's pointless to try and force myself to be.

I was lucky enough to have some sessions with a work coach via Access to Work and it was wonderful. I really wish I could just carry on with that forever because I felt really understood and supported. That gave me the encouragement to try new ideas and systems. Now that it's over I just keep forgetting about all the good ideas we came up with. One or two salient points have stuck though.

This is all really helpful, thank you. I’m newly diagnosed with ADHD and just waiting to go through titration for my meds but I really struggle with getting things done, procrastinating, paralysis etc

I find when I get stressed, caffeine calms me down and yes I feel like 400 tabs are open in my head. I HATE leaving the house and just get the rage with my children who mess about. It’s a real trigger for me

I also find I can’t talk to anyone about how I feel as everyone is so dismissive about my diagnosis, including my husband.

I’m definitely interested in using the Access to work grant though, I’ve started a new hog for the NHS (had to step down from a previous role due to lack of flexibility around childcare)

But this thread is really helpful thank you

Wow, just read this through and what a brilliant thread. I'm waiting for diagnosis but have a genetic heart condition, so not sure if I'll be able to take medication. I really, really struggle with my work tasks. I'm self employed and setting up a new business - I just get over whelmed and can't seem to take a simple step with anything..... It's so reassuring to read that there are others in the same boat. I've opened tons of windows with all the recommendations and going to have a look, but like others have spent a fortune on systems...

I seem to have a real difference between on and off days. On good days, I stick to my morning routine - have a good day and then do evening routine before bed and sleep like a top. Then it goes wrong and I have a few bad days in a row where I can't be bothered to do anything apart from eat - almost compulsively. Does anyone else do this? I am so fed up about feeling crap about myself and my ability to get things done. Also, I seem to hold it together with stuff for other people (DCs and my parents who need quite a lot of help), but can't do it for myself.

Thank you for such a helpful thread.

Neurofeedback and/or a light and sound machine.

First thing in the morning I try to think of EVERYTHING that I should do or want to do today. This includes writing down the list of things from the previous day that haven't been done.

Then I take a post it note and write down the top 3 things of that must be done today, or would be of the biggest benefit to me to get done. One of those things has to be a self care thing eg going for a walk.

I only work on tasks on the post it note - I find the pomodoro method helps for this. Once the tasks are crossed off, I repeat the task of going back to my original list and writing down my next 3 priorities on a post it. I add to the original list whenever I think of something.

This is time consuming but I do find it helps particularly on days that I have a lot of interruptions.

On good days, I stick to my morning routine - have a good day and then do evening routine before bed and sleep like a top. Then it goes wrong and I have a few bad days in a row where I can't be bothered to do anything apart from eat - almost compulsively. Does anyone else do this?

YES YES 💯 YES

Can anyone suggest where to get a private diagnosis ?

I am also in a senior job and feel an official diagnosis would really help me and allow access to help at work .

I am going to request form my GP but don’t want a long wait now I have finally realised what my issues may be due to

Thanks

I functioned years without meds Masters educated but with them my brain slows down is so much bette
I still have adhd though and I'd not be me without it.
Exercise coffee and total quiet help me.

@Crinkletinkle

First thing in the morning I try to think of EVERYTHING that I should do or want to do today. This includes writing down the list of things from the previous day that haven't been done.

Then I take a post it note and write down the top 3 things of that must be done today, or would be of the biggest benefit to me to get done. One of those things has to be a self care thing eg going for a walk.

I only work on tasks on the post it note - I find the pomodoro method helps for this. Once the tasks are crossed off, I repeat the task of going back to my original list and writing down my next 3 priorities on a post it. I add to the original list whenever I think of something.

This is time consuming but I do find it helps particularly on days that I have a lot of interruptions.

I am going to do this tomorrow, I think it’s a superb idea!

On good days, I stick to my morning routine - have a good day and then do evening routine before bed and sleep like a top. Then it goes wrong and I have a few bad days in a row where I can't be bothered to do anything apart from eat - almost compulsively. Does anyone else do this?

Yes, frequently! I’ve said to DH that it’s as though my body and brain is trying to re-balance itself.

@FabNotFat Psychiatry-UK. They’re private but you can access them on the NHS via Right To Choose if you didn’t want to pay. About 11 months from referral to first appointment on the NHS route though 😬

Im only a few weeks into diagnosis, so am taking notes.

Does anyone else stay up far too late? As though you have procrastination around going to bed?! Same old refrain here - I want to go to bed, I need to go to bed - I can't go to bed!

@Woffle

Does anyone else stay up far too late? As though you have procrastination around going to bed?! Same old refrain here - I want to go to bed, I need to go to bed - I can't go to bed!

Yes, yes, yes! This is me and it's awful. I was up till nearly 2am last night despite telling myself that I wanted to get an early night.

It seems ridiculous but the struggle is real. I think it's something to do with transitioning from one thing to another. And just finding it really hard to wind down.

I would happily pay for a private diagnosis but am I right in thinking that I would then have to pay for any related prescriptions privately? I understand that the NHS won't recognise private diagnoses?

I have already been warned by my GP that it will be a long wait.

I hear you! I have a sleep app on my watch and across the past two years my average bedtime is 1:30. It's absolutely terrible. I am permanently sleep deprived - which, I am sure, feeds into the paralysis over work tasks (well, it can't be helping can it!).

My New Years resolution was to bring this forward to 12:30, which is still really late, but unfortunately it hasn't happened.

I'm exactly the same @woffle, also track my sleep on a fitbit. I'm chronically short of sleep and get so discouraged when I read things about adhd being worse when you don't get enough...I try, but I don't know how to do it.

I have a reminder on my phone that tells me to start winding down for bed at 10pm, but I just ignore it.

I had a late dx aged 50 and was put on Concerta , I have gone from 5hours sleep to 8 its amazing , I have been on meds for over 2 years now

I had a period when I didnt take them for a few weeks and found it debiltating as I couldnt get going

Lists are useless for me as I then think as I have written a list it is all sorted rather than working through it

Exercise and a purpose in life are the best remedies for me

@Amber17. Thank you .

A wait of almost a year seems too much I would rather pay then access occupational health through work as long as they accept a private diagnosis .

My sibling was diagnosed with ADD and I'm pretty sure I have it too. Massive struggle with deadlines and working from home.

The only thing I've found which helps is to keep keys and cards in my bag in specific pockets at all times! Otherwise I can never leave the house.

Some good tips on here.

DS (11) was diagnosed with ADHD (now on meds for school days) about 2 years ago. During that time I read up a lot about ADHD, and so much of it rang true for me, so I think it’s pretty much certain that I have it also, but I’ve not been interested in seeking a formal diagnosis for myself.

The issues pps are making about work-related procrastination and inability to start things and only doing things at last minute to meet deadlines and working weekends to catch up with work that should have been done during the week- all this applies to me too. And has done from school, uni and throughout my 20-year career.

Mostly these days I’ve just accepted that this is the way I get stuff done and tried to stop beating myself up about it. But the constant guilt about things I haven’t done and the time spent away from family during family times (evenings and weekends) due to catching up with procrastinated work to meet deadlines is stressful and I wish I could find a better way to manage my time.

I will try some of the suggestions.

The only tip I can add that I’ve found that is effective for me (work example) is related to interacting with someone else. If I have a document to review and it’s sent via email for my comments it just ends up at the bottom of my inbox until someone chases me with a deadline. But if I set up a short call with that person and go through the document together in real time with screensharing and discuss my feedback and add comments or amendments in the document as we discuss it, then the review is done in half an hour. Instead of putting it off for days and then taking about 2 hours to finally get my head into it.

Basically anything that involves a concentrated task requiring me sitting alone at my laptop staring at the screen is a struggle. So I think I need to find more ways to build interactive elements into tasks that my brain just wants to avoid!

@billysboy - can you tell me a bit more about how you manage your exercise and life purpose. I am good at the planning bit re what I want out of life, but really struggle to translate that to daily action.