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Neurodiverse Mumsnetters

Use this forum to discuss neurodiverse parenting.

If you have ADHD and can't/don't take medication, what helps?

312 replies

MsRosewater · 14/01/2022 21:57

I have a new diagnosis of ADHD. It explains a lot for me!

It's going to be about 7 months until I can start treatment but I'm really struggling to function at the moment. It's a particular issue at work where I'm perpetually missing deadlines, unable to initiate things through inertia/ procrastination and not being able to concentrate in ( interminable) team's meeting so missing things .

I'm in a new , senior NHS role and the sole breadwinner so not a lot of room to manoeuvre there but keen to know how others manage....,

Thanks

OP posts:
Llamasally · 15/01/2022 06:40

Following for undiagnosed DH

MsRosewater · 15/01/2022 07:21

Wow thanks for all of the replies! Lots to try and also, a relief to know it's not just me

OP posts:
3mealsaday · 15/01/2022 07:40

Following for tips.

No3No2No1 · 15/01/2022 08:02

How did you all get diagnosed, I’ve started looking into adhd and recognise so many things. I’m worried if I go to a dr as a 52 yo post menopausal woman they will laugh

NannyOggsWhiskyStash · 15/01/2022 08:46

Also waiting for my assessment. Filling in the calendar on my phone has been so helpful. Also exercise, and listening to a podcast while working. Yoga helps too, and mindful breathing.

Woffle · 15/01/2022 08:54

Hungry? Stand up, put one foot in front of the other and make that sandwich NOW. Otherwise you'll still be sat there in two hours time, hangry and completely paralysed.

This is so true!

Wrongaddress · 15/01/2022 08:57

Following with interest. I'm unmedicated due to heart issue, really struggling at the moment. Hormone fluctuations seem to make it worse for me, and I seem to be heading towards peri menopause. Apparently it's not uncommon for symptoms to get worse when combined with peri

Wrongaddress · 15/01/2022 08:58

Oh and timer method is quite effective for me

ittakes2 · 15/01/2022 09:14

I think the most important thing is to brain storm what does work for you and build on from there.
I need everything in one step - if something takes two steps to do I find it harder.
Lists seem like a good idea but for me I lost them and/or forgot to do them.
I found this fridge calendar on Amazon which I liked because it had sticky pads next to it - I can write things I need to do on the sticky pads, dates on the calendar (in pencil incase they change). But the biggest thing is for me these are together on the fridge - I can't lose them and they are easily accessible.
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B09475PP56/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?psc=1&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&ie=UTF8
I also bought these (sorry out of stock now but you could find something similar) they are magnetic so I stuck several on my fridge. One has a pencil for my calendar, one has a pen and other has a pair of scissors because I am always looking for these items.
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B08L9CLHHW/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?psc=1&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&ie=UTF8

alwayssomethingnewtolearn · 15/01/2022 09:28

Lots of good advice in here, I try to keep meetings I organise short and focused and most people already have spotted I have attention issues for anything longer and rambly. I make notes of my tasks straight after and often if it is someone elses meeting they'll send me a list just to be sure :)

Woffle · 15/01/2022 09:34

Does anyone have any tips for getting over ADHD paralysis? For starting a task rather than sitting there and avoiding it for three+ hours?

WoodenReindeer · 15/01/2022 09:36

That's what I struggle with most.

AlexaShutUp · 15/01/2022 09:37

I need that too @woffle.

Very interested in the potential for symptoms to get worse with perimenopause @Wrongaddress. That would explain a lot!

Woffle · 15/01/2022 09:40

It’s so hard isn’t it? I can have a to do list, block out my diary, organise my files, I can absolutely know what needs doing. And - I want to do it! But it’s as though unless I have a really serious deadline then there is no way I can do the work.

I got so little done yesterday that I’m actually going to have to do some work tomorrow else the whole of next week is buggered. I really really WANT to stop being like this but I have no idea how to change.

Instead I sit for hours and proceed to feel more and more guilty for doing so. It’s awful!

Snoopsnoggysnog · 15/01/2022 09:41

@Woffle

Does anyone have any tips for getting over ADHD paralysis? For starting a task rather than sitting there and avoiding it for three+ hours?
Pomodoro definitely helps me with this but I have to set timer for 15 mins as I find anything longer too overwhelming.
AlexaShutUp · 15/01/2022 09:54

@Woffle

It’s so hard isn’t it? I can have a to do list, block out my diary, organise my files, I can absolutely know what needs doing. And - I want to do it! But it’s as though unless I have a really serious deadline then there is no way I can do the work.

I got so little done yesterday that I’m actually going to have to do some work tomorrow else the whole of next week is buggered. I really really WANT to stop being like this but I have no idea how to change.

Instead I sit for hours and proceed to feel more and more guilty for doing so. It’s awful!

I'm exactly the same @Woffle. Right down to needing to do some work this weekend in order to catch up on what I didn't manage to get done last week. My job is quite high stakes so I need to get it sorted.
Bitbloweyoutthere · 15/01/2022 09:55

That inertia and paralysis thing is interesting, but I thought everyone had that.

I've had colleagues ask me if I had adhd in the past (my 20s) because I seemed to have so much energy. But I also found work incredibly stressful because of workload. But then, I wonder how much of that was stress because of faffing and procrastination. On the other hand, I spend a lot of time making sure I'm organised. I'm obsessive over lists.

Ds def has a lot of add traits. I used to suspect autism when he was younger (flapping, sensitive to foods) but he seems to tick more add boxes. Having said that, he is a pre teen boy and in my experience, they all seem to have add symptoms.

Loopyloulou007 · 15/01/2022 09:58

My boy has adhd and unmedicated. I have gone down the homeopathy route, so defo have a read up on that. It has changed him. It's based on an energy for energy. Coffee calms him. In most it would give you a boost, but in the adhd brain it does the opposite. Bit like stimulant medication in a way.

In an organisation way. Get a notebook. Write down what needs doing. Then cross them off once done. Can always star the ones that have higher importance etc, so you don't miss deadlines. Also inform you work of your diagnosis as it falls under disability law, so they can make adjustments for you. Rather than seeing you miss deadlines they could ask what works best for you etc. if you assistants, don't feel you have to do it all, delegate.

At home, have a family meeting and delegate, so the load is shared and everyone has jobs, again do a list, cross it off, get into a routine, it will become second nature, before you know it.

Go for a walk, run, clears the mind and releases excess energy.

Keep a journal and before you go to bed, write it/draw it, just get it out, the 1000's of things going on and untangle them. You might find. You have answered a problem or an idea on a project you are working on, so have a quick skim read in the am when you wake. Do breathing exercises at bedtime, really makes a difference to switch off and have a peaceful sleep.

When in teams meetings. Get a fidget toy, just to release tension. So your brain is active doing something, so you can concentrate on the meeting at hand. Maybe record the meeting to play back to yourself, so you don't miss anything. Adhd ers think outside the box. So if it's strange to others, if it works for you, don't worry too much. So don't sweat, you might feel you are failing and stress about it, far too much which then affects everything else.

Lastly. Acknowledging that the things you struggle with is because you have ADHD and not because you are incapable. Be mindful of that.

pigcon1 · 15/01/2022 10:00

I find that if I call a friend, ask them to spot me, tell them what I need to do in the next hour and ask them to hold me to account on that task it helps. You can’t do this all the time but it gets things moving.

pigcon1 · 15/01/2022 10:02

You then call them back to tell them what you have done.

parrotonmyshoulder · 15/01/2022 10:03

I do take meds (diagnosed a year ago) and they massively help. But not all day. I struggle with how different I am at different times of the day. I do take twice daily meds most days as I don’t believe I should only take them to be ‘productive’ at work. I feel like my family and leisure time should also benefit.
At work it is my inconsistency I struggle with. I can think that I will complete something, agree to do it , or plan it, in the morning when I’m ‘on’, but by the time it needs doing I am lower functioning again.
I’ve just filled in an online Access to Work thing in case I can get some advice with organisation. I changed jobs last year, nobody knows about the adhd and the previous job was improved by my adhd. This job requires more organisational skills than I have in practice.
I struggle tremendously with the fact that I know ‘what to do’ but don’t execute it. So I come across as very able…but don’t follow through. I must be a terrible colleague.

Branleuse · 15/01/2022 10:06

How come you have to wait 7 months.
Do you think your symptoms have got worse?

I think omega 3 supplements are helpful

Fwiw, im on adhd medication and its definitely helpful but i still need some of these strategies too, as the meds definitely help me, but it doesnt mean i dont have all the adhd stuff. Meds, supplements, exercise, sunlight calenders, planners and STRATEGIES are what it takes for me.

Doyoumind · 15/01/2022 10:25

This is also so much me, Woffle. I'm going to have to work this weekend. In fact, it's the same story every weekend but recently - whether it's perimenopause or low mood, I don't know - I've become even worse.

Work know but are not understanding or helpful and make things worse for me to the point where I don't feel I have any security. I'm a single mum so I can't afford to lose my job.

thethoughtfox · 15/01/2022 10:28

Oh and big doses of meth for the dc

This amused me greatly.

caringcarer · 15/01/2022 10:28

Loads of exercise. Physically wear yourself out in order to sleep.