I am dating dating to a Muslim man

[minipink]

Hi,

I was not sure where to get advice from and I hope someone can help.

I am currently dating a Muslim man and I am a Christian women. We haven’t done any sexual but we are talking in a serious way. I am not Muslim but from the knowledge I know our relationship would be going against his religion as we do cuddle, kiss and meet up. Ramadan is coming up soon and we won’t be meeting during this time but still messaging.

Im starting to feel really guilty. I know he prays and takes his religion seriously and I’m starting to feel guilty in participating in him committing sins.

I really do like him, but I don’t know what the best thing to do is. I have spoken to him about it but he is saying it’s not a problem.

Any advice ?

Hi Minipink. It's a difficult situation. If he is not religious then he won't be feeling guilty about having an unmarried relationship with you. But if as you say he doesn't want to meet up in Ramadan it sounds as though he is observant to a degree. There are Muslims who won't commit sins in Ramadan as they feel more spiritually aware during that month, then afterwards they go back to how they were. My honest advice to you would be to try not to lose your heart to him because he will likely become more and more conflicted over time as the lifestyle he is leading is at odds with his core beliefs.

I've seen people in these types of relationships try to make it work because they love each other, so one party will try to become Muslim but it's not a good idea to become Muslim because of someone else, or knowing that the relationship will end if you don't. Sometimes people marry without one party converting but then when children come along it raises more conflict around which beliefs, values and practices they are to be raised with.

It also depends on what YOU want. How serious or long term do you visualise the relationship to be?

@ForPeaceSake thank you so much for commenting.

He told me he prays everyday and he goes to mosque so he is religious. I’ve brought it up to him and said isn’t our relationship haram. He said I’m not in the position to judge what is haram or not. I am not in the religion so I don’t fully know so it makes me feel a bit stupid trying to question him on this. But if he’s following his faith won’t he eventually become guilty about me ?

I do like him but I’m worried this will end in tears. I question: We can’t go every Ramadan not talking, what’s gonna happen when marriage and kids become a topic. He’s saying it’s fine, but I’m struggling to believe that

You are right, it is haram and he knows it. You don't want to be his sinful secret. What does he mean by 'it's fine'? Try to find out his long term intentions. His reply will be very telling.

Do you mind me asking how old you both are? Are you both citizens of the same country?

Also be aware he might already be married either legally here or in a Muslim ceremony. People will jump on me for stereotyping/ being racist but it happens - Muslim men are pressured into marrying into their community, but get attracted to women who are not marriage naterial ie non Muslim/ not from same country and region of origin. Just keep your eyes open.

I am in a relationship with a Muslim man too. He prays and is moderately religious. Goes to mosque daily etc. I am happy to answer any questions you wish to ask.