Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Muslim Mumsnetters

This board exists primarily for the use of Muslim Mumsnetters. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful.

Awkward conversation with Non Muslim

2 replies

MixedBananas · 02/09/2025 06:31

The other day I was having a wonderful comversation with a non muslim lady we bonded over our shared professional life and where we resided in London. She is at least 30years older then me. I wear Jilbab and so an obvious Muslim.
We spoke about our negative ecperinces in London, commute, mayhem, traffic and why we love small town life and the countryside. Then she dropped this into the conversation "I was so stressed going to work every day on the tube wondering if there would be a bomb terrorist attack". I felt unsettled after that. And felt angry becuase I am often abused verbally for being a Muslim using public transport and actually experince terror when I go out. I wanted to chime in an say that. But I ended the convo and left.

Maybe I am reading into it so much but felt she should have read the room better. We are both prfessionals and educated but felt she was being so ignorant. Your more likely to be stabbed / Raped / mugged in London as the news states on a daily basis. And me as a Hijabi is more likely to experince terrorism when I walk out the door. Last week me and my 2 babies were told to F* off back to my country. I feel scared to go out and I am upset more these days as I have young children. So for her to say she fears something that is extremely unlikely to ever happened versus what I go through very very often is just upsetting. This is not the first time I expeeinced this.

I had a work colleague once who would only ever speak loudly about news articles when it involved Muslims. But never utter a word when it was a non muslim. I was so glad to have left the workforce as hearing this and dealing with these sorts of people really wear you down. But I can't escape them at the shops or on the streets.

Alhamdulillah I have never been physically abused like many other sisters I know who have been beating up and clothing removed. Why is our suffering not classed as terrorism.
What I have noticed over my nearly 4 decades alive is that this only ever happens when I am alone with my children. When there is a man with me these brave Boys are awfully quiet! They won't even look in our direction.

Alhamdulillah being away from cities and large towns has meant this aort of atuff happens less often. But I still have dealings with people who seem nice but show their ignorance in conversation.

The lady I see for physical therapy is so ignorant that even when I try to correct her and excuse that perhaps she is turkey ignorant with no exposure to Muslims she still persists with her arrgonace! She refuses to learn. She is from a major city in Scotland so no flipping excuse. She didn't grow up in a tiny village. I have vowed to my husband the next time I do see her I am going to be a little more direct and ask why she doesnt care to retain or learn anything new about Islam.

On example is She keeps harping on about how one Indian lady she knew grew up in an oppressive and backwards family and fled to marry a white man and is so happy and free and liberated. Then I told her that happens in all cultures even in white relationships and families. I told her my husband is Indian Muslim and he and gis family are very loving and respectable to women they live like queens. And me as an Arab my family ubringing has been nothing but positive and never seen or heard anything ugly from my parents. I keep telling her that and she keeps harping on about how backwards people are from "those" places. And I keep being positive and telling her positive stories from real life from the horses mouth.

I don't understand how im 2025 these people are still so ignorant about everything! There is so much more then the BBC news this is not pre internet days. You can learn about anything online if you truely wish to be in the know but they choose to remain arrogant and ignorant.

It gets tireing some days but then I have to remind myself that the Prophets of Allah gave dawah to their people some for decades before they awoke and sometimes never changed, but being persistent and calm is the only thing I can do.

OP posts:
Gerbilboy · 06/09/2025 07:47

Assalamu alaikum Sister,

Sorry to hear of your experiences, I think you are doing well to stay calm but would encourage you to engage more in the future insha'Allah. These personal interactions are valuable opportunities in these times of media lies and prejudice.

I know it can be difficult to adjust confrontation but actually, if you approach a discussion in a dispassionate way with the intention for both of you to learn from each other, it could even become dawah. If the lady is able to share her fears, then absolutely you are too; she might then go on a journey of discovery.

Thuraya17 · 10/09/2025 00:47

MixedBananas · 02/09/2025 06:31

The other day I was having a wonderful comversation with a non muslim lady we bonded over our shared professional life and where we resided in London. She is at least 30years older then me. I wear Jilbab and so an obvious Muslim.
We spoke about our negative ecperinces in London, commute, mayhem, traffic and why we love small town life and the countryside. Then she dropped this into the conversation "I was so stressed going to work every day on the tube wondering if there would be a bomb terrorist attack". I felt unsettled after that. And felt angry becuase I am often abused verbally for being a Muslim using public transport and actually experince terror when I go out. I wanted to chime in an say that. But I ended the convo and left.

Maybe I am reading into it so much but felt she should have read the room better. We are both prfessionals and educated but felt she was being so ignorant. Your more likely to be stabbed / Raped / mugged in London as the news states on a daily basis. And me as a Hijabi is more likely to experince terrorism when I walk out the door. Last week me and my 2 babies were told to F* off back to my country. I feel scared to go out and I am upset more these days as I have young children. So for her to say she fears something that is extremely unlikely to ever happened versus what I go through very very often is just upsetting. This is not the first time I expeeinced this.

I had a work colleague once who would only ever speak loudly about news articles when it involved Muslims. But never utter a word when it was a non muslim. I was so glad to have left the workforce as hearing this and dealing with these sorts of people really wear you down. But I can't escape them at the shops or on the streets.

Alhamdulillah I have never been physically abused like many other sisters I know who have been beating up and clothing removed. Why is our suffering not classed as terrorism.
What I have noticed over my nearly 4 decades alive is that this only ever happens when I am alone with my children. When there is a man with me these brave Boys are awfully quiet! They won't even look in our direction.

Alhamdulillah being away from cities and large towns has meant this aort of atuff happens less often. But I still have dealings with people who seem nice but show their ignorance in conversation.

The lady I see for physical therapy is so ignorant that even when I try to correct her and excuse that perhaps she is turkey ignorant with no exposure to Muslims she still persists with her arrgonace! She refuses to learn. She is from a major city in Scotland so no flipping excuse. She didn't grow up in a tiny village. I have vowed to my husband the next time I do see her I am going to be a little more direct and ask why she doesnt care to retain or learn anything new about Islam.

On example is She keeps harping on about how one Indian lady she knew grew up in an oppressive and backwards family and fled to marry a white man and is so happy and free and liberated. Then I told her that happens in all cultures even in white relationships and families. I told her my husband is Indian Muslim and he and gis family are very loving and respectable to women they live like queens. And me as an Arab my family ubringing has been nothing but positive and never seen or heard anything ugly from my parents. I keep telling her that and she keeps harping on about how backwards people are from "those" places. And I keep being positive and telling her positive stories from real life from the horses mouth.

I don't understand how im 2025 these people are still so ignorant about everything! There is so much more then the BBC news this is not pre internet days. You can learn about anything online if you truely wish to be in the know but they choose to remain arrogant and ignorant.

It gets tireing some days but then I have to remind myself that the Prophets of Allah gave dawah to their people some for decades before they awoke and sometimes never changed, but being persistent and calm is the only thing I can do.

Assalamu alaikum 🌺

I hear you. Before children, I was so confident as a visible Muslim every where I went. In my city there were anti Islam marches every Monday and I still continued my days as normal trusting that Allah will keep me safe.

Since having children, although I still have total trust in Allah, I’m so so worried about the ignorance amongst us. I fear for myself and my children and astaghfirullah even compromising my hijab to blend in more to keep us all safe. Alhamdulillah I’ve also only experienced verbal slurs and uncomfortable questions but as a mother it’s so unnerving especially with the horrific event that happened at Moscow airport. - A man picked up the child of a Muslim women by the feet and threw him to the ground headfirst putting him in a coma. Alhamdulillah by the grace of Allah he pulled through and is doing well now but obviously traumatised and with horrific injuries.

May Allah protect all of our Muslim children, allahumma Ameen.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread