Shahada and doing not permitted things

Pleasetellmeitgetsbetter · 2024-12-26T23:28:38+00:00

- vaping (I am not mentally ready to give up. I have stopped smoking cigarettes 6ish months ago) - weed (cut down massively but I am still an occasional smoker and think I’d struggle to give up) - intimate pics/vids (I sell these to make a living. I could not support myself without doing this) My shahada is tomorrow and now I’m worried that I should delay it? Thoughts please.

AlhambraQueen · 27/12/2024 11:06

I don't think you should take your shahada if you will knowingly carry on with these actions. It doesn't sound like you are ready.

Original poster

Pleasetellmeitgetsbetter · 27/12/2024 13:06

AlhambraQueen · 27/12/2024 11:06

I don't think you should take your shahada if you will knowingly carry on with these actions. It doesn't sound like you are ready.

Thank you for your thoughts, I really appreciate it and confirmed what I was expecting

OP posts:

Scirocco · 27/12/2024 14:03

Assalamu alaikum. It sounds like you're in a difficult situation and have quite a few challenges. I hope Islam can guide you through these.

If you're not feeling sure about your shahada, that's ok - it can feel like a natural progression or it can feel like a huge leap into the unknown, and there's no right or wrong way to feel about it. Do you have anyone you can talk to in real life about struggles and questions? An alimah? A New to Islam class?

With regards the vaping and weed, it sounds like you've already made some solid progress by stopping smoking and cutting down on cannabis. Everyone is a 'work in progress' - nobody alive today is perfect - so you don't have to be perfect to take your shahada. You just need to feel ready and comfortable with yourself and your choice.

I'm not sure about the pics/videos. I think you'd need to speak with an Alimah, really. It's not something that's permissible Islamically as a free choice, but only you know if you're actually making a free choice. If it's something you want to get out of doing, there are ways out and organisations which can support you to do so.

I'd say to do what feels right in your heart. If you don't feel ready yet, that's ok, but if you do, that's ok too.

Original poster

Pleasetellmeitgetsbetter · 27/12/2024 14:21

Scirocco · 27/12/2024 14:03

Assalamu alaikum. It sounds like you're in a difficult situation and have quite a few challenges. I hope Islam can guide you through these.

If you're not feeling sure about your shahada, that's ok - it can feel like a natural progression or it can feel like a huge leap into the unknown, and there's no right or wrong way to feel about it. Do you have anyone you can talk to in real life about struggles and questions? An alimah? A New to Islam class?

With regards the vaping and weed, it sounds like you've already made some solid progress by stopping smoking and cutting down on cannabis. Everyone is a 'work in progress' - nobody alive today is perfect - so you don't have to be perfect to take your shahada. You just need to feel ready and comfortable with yourself and your choice.

I'm not sure about the pics/videos. I think you'd need to speak with an Alimah, really. It's not something that's permissible Islamically as a free choice, but only you know if you're actually making a free choice. If it's something you want to get out of doing, there are ways out and organisations which can support you to do so.

I'd say to do what feels right in your heart. If you don't feel ready yet, that's ok, but if you do, that's ok too.

Thank you so much for your detailed answer. It was really comforting for me to read! And it’s given me another perspective to think about. Again thank you for taking your time to support me, I appreciate it

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Parkingt111 · 28/12/2024 14:24

@Pleasetellmeitgetsbetter if you don't mind, can I please ask what has inclined you to become a Muslim? As Muslims we are not all perfect and we all sin differently. But having faith means we try and stop those sins and at the least (lowest form of iman - faith) is to acknowledge that those acts are wrong. From your post it seems that you have already acknowledged that which is why it is a concern for you.

Having faith in Allah also means making sacrifices for His pleasure with the belief that we will be compensated either in this world or the hearafter.

Islam is not just a set of beliefs, but a way of life.

Parkingt111 · 28/12/2024 14:27

Perhaps you can discuss your concerns in person with whoever you are taking your shahadah with. Is it an Imam?
Wishing you all the best 💓

Istilldontlikeolives · 30/12/2024 01:25

Can you tell us where you are up to in your journey and how you came to be interested in Islam? Can you say why you need to sell the photo to make a living? Most people make a living in ways other than this? Is it because you think you aren’t capable of anything else? Because you are paying off big debts etc?

Original poster

Pleasetellmeitgetsbetter · 30/12/2024 21:10

I did delay in the end and sort of regretting it now. I think I was just worried that I wouldn’t do ‘good enough’ and I don’t want to start on the wrong foot. To answer some questions…
I have a friend, probably more acquaintance (so can’t ask her these questions) that initially introduced me and I have since read the Quran and other bits and pieces online myself.
Regarding the pictures, it would be impossible to support myself in any other way immediately. I’m in my 30s with no work experience etc, single etc. I wouldn’t be able to survive immediately. But this is something I could work out over time. I think. I hope?
Thank you so much for all your lovely support.
Happy New Year ❤️

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Scirocco · 30/12/2024 22:30

Intention is important - it's a big step towards change. Maybe set yourself some goals to take steps towards getting away from feeling you have to do that? You could think about practical things (eg CV help, support from charities working with women in your situation, volunteering to gain work experience), steps you could take to reduce the harm to yourself and improve your psychological health (that kind of work can take a toll on a person and damage self-esteem, so maybe some counselling?), and spiritual things to help you develop a strong connection with Islam (join a class, listen to and read Qur'an, read about strong women throughout Islamic history).

Here's hoping 2025 can be your (Gregorian calendar) year for making some great changes!

Original poster

Pleasetellmeitgetsbetter · 30/12/2024 22:45

Scirocco · 30/12/2024 22:30

Intention is important - it's a big step towards change. Maybe set yourself some goals to take steps towards getting away from feeling you have to do that? You could think about practical things (eg CV help, support from charities working with women in your situation, volunteering to gain work experience), steps you could take to reduce the harm to yourself and improve your psychological health (that kind of work can take a toll on a person and damage self-esteem, so maybe some counselling?), and spiritual things to help you develop a strong connection with Islam (join a class, listen to and read Qur'an, read about strong women throughout Islamic history).

Here's hoping 2025 can be your (Gregorian calendar) year for making some great changes!

This is lovely, I’m going to copy and paste it into the notes on my phone, thank you so much ☺️

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Rustyfeet · 01/01/2025 10:20

Selam sis @Pleasetellmeitgetsbetter . Fellow revert here. I think you need to have a good think and even if you don't take your shahada then there's definitely a need to look at how you can support your self financially in a safer way.

This might be the opportunity you need to look into adult education. If you have a look at your local council website they often have adult education courses available. Especially in London, and if you have certain circumstances they can be free.

In the kindest possible way, this way of earning an income will not be possible forever for you, or anyone once you start to mature with age. Then what will you do? I would take this opportunity to give yourself a safer life.

Also, you don't have to take your shahada as a big spectacle. I took mine at home alone with a friend on MSN, nearly 17 years ago! Intentions is the most important thing.

But only do it when you feel ready.

None of us are perfect and we all sin. But we should conceal out sins and have the intention not to do them again.

I think you are very brave and it's great your are thinking before making any changes.

Please continue to talk to us if you aren't sure about anything.

Original poster

Pleasetellmeitgetsbetter · 01/01/2025 17:13

Rustyfeet · 01/01/2025 10:20

Selam sis @Pleasetellmeitgetsbetter . Fellow revert here. I think you need to have a good think and even if you don't take your shahada then there's definitely a need to look at how you can support your self financially in a safer way.

This might be the opportunity you need to look into adult education. If you have a look at your local council website they often have adult education courses available. Especially in London, and if you have certain circumstances they can be free.

In the kindest possible way, this way of earning an income will not be possible forever for you, or anyone once you start to mature with age. Then what will you do? I would take this opportunity to give yourself a safer life.

Also, you don't have to take your shahada as a big spectacle. I took mine at home alone with a friend on MSN, nearly 17 years ago! Intentions is the most important thing.

But only do it when you feel ready.

None of us are perfect and we all sin. But we should conceal out sins and have the intention not to do them again.

I think you are very brave and it's great your are thinking before making any changes.

Please continue to talk to us if you aren't sure about anything.

Love this advice! Embarrassingly I’m educated to degree level. But I have never had a job due to other circumstances so it doesn’t help much. What a mess. But thank you so much for your thoughtful response ☺️ Maybe I’m overthinking a lot of this!

OP posts:

Istilldontlikeolives · 01/01/2025 20:56

I wanted to come back and add a further post. If you are convinced that Islam is the truth then I think you would be best to take your shahadah as soon as possible for 2 simple reasons: 1: you believe it is the truth and 2: you don’t know when your last day will be. There is no point in dithering and as you said, you now regret not doing it. You acknowledge there are things you need to work on and you are willing to work on them. When you become Muslim you will face challenges in addition to these, it probably wont be a smooth journey but take things one day at a time and seek advice along the way. Please keep coming back to discuss further :)

Parkingt111 · 01/01/2025 22:06

Istilldontlikeolives · 01/01/2025 20:56

I wanted to come back and add a further post. If you are convinced that Islam is the truth then I think you would be best to take your shahadah as soon as possible for 2 simple reasons: 1: you believe it is the truth and 2: you don’t know when your last day will be. There is no point in dithering and as you said, you now regret not doing it. You acknowledge there are things you need to work on and you are willing to work on them. When you become Muslim you will face challenges in addition to these, it probably wont be a smooth journey but take things one day at a time and seek advice along the way. Please keep coming back to discuss further :)

I agree wholeheartedly with this.

Yazzi · 04/01/2025 09:28

Istilldontlikeolives · 01/01/2025 20:56

I wanted to come back and add a further post. If you are convinced that Islam is the truth then I think you would be best to take your shahadah as soon as possible for 2 simple reasons: 1: you believe it is the truth and 2: you don’t know when your last day will be. There is no point in dithering and as you said, you now regret not doing it. You acknowledge there are things you need to work on and you are willing to work on them. When you become Muslim you will face challenges in addition to these, it probably wont be a smooth journey but take things one day at a time and seek advice along the way. Please keep coming back to discuss further :)

I agree with this wholeheartedly.

I think you've also gotten good advice here about taking real steps, from now, to moving into a different career path.

Inshallah all goes well with you xx