Advice please - from mothers of sons married to a Catholic woman

[TheOwlAndThePussycatCannotSwim]

Does Islam prohibit a Catholic religious ceremony in the Catholic Church?

Sorry, I mean a Catholic wedding?

Assalamu alaikum, depending on how practising your son is, you and he might want to seek advice from his local mosque. Different imams and scholars might feel differently.

Personally, I'd have concerns that a purely Catholic ceremony would potentially miss out the key bits of the nikah, and could involve the Muslim spouse having to say things and make promises within a different faith, which could be problematic! I'd also be concerned that if Islam is not going to be included in the marriage ceremony, what precedent does that set for its inclusion in life after the ceremony? It's a bit different from having a purely civil ceremony (with a separate nikah), to have a ceremony entirely within one person's religion but not including the other person's...

When my DH and I were planning our nikah (both Muslim but my family is from a Christian background), the imam at our mosque would have been happy to be involved in a cross-faith ceremony to include a prayer or blessing from my parents' church - we didn't include it as neither of us are Christian and we wanted our nikah to represent us, but it was nice to have the option suggested to us.

If the bride and groom are from different faiths, maybe a ceremony could reflect both? Maybe something in a civil setting like a hotel with someone from a church and an imam both involved in the marriage ceremony?

Can you explain more about what you mean? Are you asking if it’s ok to do the marriage in a catholic church?

I don't know if it's still the same but when I was getting married my Church of England fiancé had the choice to either convert to Catholicism or get permission from someone like the Bishop in order to marry in a Catholic Church. He chose to convert. My father and grandmother also did this way back in the 50s and 20s respectively.
I'd be interested in knowing the answer to this.

I believe it is still the same. The non-catholic spouse must also promise or agree to raise any children of the marriage either in the Catholic faith or not stand in the way of it (I can’t recall which).

That said, I am certain that couple come to their own agreements about that and do not necessarily follow church teachings.

Edited to add - I missed out answering your actually question. No, it is not prohibited in Islam for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim. However, it is prohibited for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man. Also, I think that ‘non-Muslim’ is limited to certain religions (possibly only Abrahmic but I am not certain) but does include Christianity.

OP are you saying that ONE person is muslim and they are planning to marry a Catholic in a Catholic church and wondering if this is in some way offensive to the Islamic faith?

A Catholic priest couldn't in good conscience agree to the compromise @Scirocco suggests.

A civil ceremony is not considered a sacramental marriage by the RC church.

My advice to the mother would be to let her son and his fiance go ahead with the wedding g they are planning, and not get between them. If the Muslim man himself is not happy about marrying in the RC church, then he needs to speak up.

Couples wishing to marry in the RC church are obliged to do pre marriage counseling - this would be the ideal venue to express and resolve concerns.

But as an observant RC mother of adult children, I would steer well clear of decisions my children make wrt who, when, how, or where to marry, and in fact I have bitten my lip and taken my own advice. It is not my place to get between any DC of mine and their intended spouse.

Perhaps the op is wondering if it’s ok to do a separate nikah and then go and do another wedding in a church to keep all sides of the family happy? Anyway, it would be prohibited. I’m interested to know more about imams (and vicars/priests) who are happy to do joint ceremonies. They must be quite rare!

Thank you for all your replies. I can see that trying to be brief has actually been confusing! We are Roman Catholic, and my daughter is too. Both she and her Muslim boyfriend have decided that they cannot stay together. This is because she could not, in conscience, recite or respond to the prayers at the Nikah; and he thinks he could not participate in the prayers of a Catholic Church marriage. Neither would consider a civil service. Also, neither wishes to convert, although he is clear that he would attend Mass with her if they married (as a sign of respect for her faith, but not actively participating). They have discussed how to share their respective faith with future children, but agree that they both wish any children to be brought up in their own faith. Heart breaking, as he is such a wonderful young man. I just wondered if any Muslim mums have gone through this with their own sons marrying a Catholic girl, and does it ever work out?

It sounds like their individual faiths are very important to them - if they can't find a compromise then it might be that this isn't something they can work through. The question of what to do with raising children in an inter-faith family is a big one. Usually, the workable approaches are either that both faiths are given equal prominence with no pressure on children to 'pick' one, or one person who is usually not deeply practising themselves is happy for the other parent's faith to be the 'family faith'. Inter-faith relationships can be really hard.

It seems they are being sensible. It is a difficult situation to be in. To be honest, not having boyfriends and girlfriends (from an Islamic point of view) would have avoided this situation in the first place but anyway. It sounds like it is best to part ways given the desire for each to bring up children in their own faith. I have seen cases where families say they are giving equal importance to each religion and letting the children choose but I think this kind of goes against what each of the religions stands for in the first place. Maybe they have to view this situation as a positive one in that it has helped them both understand what they want from future married life? It is good they realise now rather than when it is too late. I am sure it will be difficult for them to end things though. You sound like a very helpful parent.

I know, I found out late last night that they have agreed that neither would be prepared to bring up any children in a 50/50 split. And have split up. Sometimes love means letting the other person go, but so sad for them😥

It’s sad but better and far wiser to have reached this realisation now instead of later