Muslim revert, in love with non-Muslim man

[cinnamonswirlsandcoffee]

Salaam sisters, hope everyone is well. It's my first time posting on this group, just looking for advice.. particularly welcome would be advice from fellow reverts or those who don't come originally from a Muslim family or background.
I'm a white, British revert who reverted almost 20 years ago. Over the last 20 years I've had a serious of disasterous relationships/marriages with Muslim men from various backgrounds and different countries, all of which failed. Usually due to cultural clashes, them being unable/unwilling to accept or respect my culture, trying to re-shape me into an "Arab" woman in terms of dress, cooking and language to be spoken at home. I studied Arabic at uni so have a good grasp of it tbf.
Fast forward to last year, I met and fell in love with a British non-Muslim man. He's of no particular religion but respects mine. He has been fully respectful from day one. He treats me 100 times better than any man I've previously been involved with.
Trouble is, I'm getting a lot of judgement and grief over my relationship with him.I attend a revert's group at the local mosque. People who I thought were my friends seem to have so much to say about my choices, I find them overstepping and trying to get too involved. Pressing me to try to get him to accept Islam. Just to be clear, he's not interested in embracing Islam (nor any religion) and I have to accept that. I respect his wishes.
Have any reverts here been in a similar situation, I mean falling in love with a non Muslim man years after reverting and after struggling with several toxic/dysfunctional relationships with "Muslim" men?

Surely ‘god’ would want you to be happy, right? If you fall in love with someone and they make you happy yet their ‘version’ of god is from another book or theology does it really matter?

Like I said, if after death you happen to meet ‘god’ surely if he’s merciful and understanding he’d only be pleased for you having lived a happy fulfilled life regardless of whether your lover knew him by a different name or context?

I’d like to hope this was the case irrespective of which religions god is waiting for us on the other side.

It can’t be a bad thing to have a more objective viewpoint. What would you think if a christian poster said they only wanted opinions from Christians. One of these people might have an amazing nugget of advice.

I would primarily think that they were seeking advice about cultural or spiritual elements of their situation in which I as a non-Christian would be less likely to be able to provide relevant assistance.

If a Christian poster asked a question in a Christian forum space then I’d think ‘fair enough’ and leave them be.

Why is it so hard for some people to not be able to accept that there will be those who follow religious beliefs that have rules a d guidelines that shouldn’t be strayed from? Or is it just to be awkward?

It isn't "god" it's God. You are on a Muslim topic talking to believers,I would think it obvious to use some respect. Or are you one of those "I'm so edgy,fairy in the sky" type of person.
You say" surely God would want you to be happy ". For a believer there is no happiness in the disobedience of Allah.
Our porpoise is to worship Allah alone,not to fine our "soulmate" like in a Christmas movie.
The religion is enough for us, the rules are for our own benefit, you can think us silly and backwards as much as you like.
I don't understand those who say. " Surely God would want this and that". God has made very clear what He wants from us, why would anyone think to understand what God would want us to do? Especially someone that doesn't believe in first place?
It is just an attempt to manipulate others.
As Allah says in surah 2 verse 120: Never will the Jews or Christians be pleased with you, until you follow their faith. Say, “Allah’s guidance is the only ˹true˺ guidance.” And if you were to follow their desires after ˹all˺ the knowledge that has come to you, there would be none to protect or help you against Allah.

She wasn’t suggesting Muslim men are inherently more abusive. She was responding to OP who said she had a string of relationships with abusive Muslim men and now has found a non-abusive non-Muslim. In that context, it was a perfectly reasonable question!

Not really, though. Clearly OP doesn't think such relationships are "better", because she's not in one.

And you can't ignore that this comes on the context of deep Islamophobia in the UK where Muslim men are assumed by non-Muslim British people to be abusive and lecherous by nature and Muslim women downtrodden and submissive.

It's a constant trope on Mumsnet boards and part of the reason this board- FOR Muslim mumsnetters, not about us- was set up.

It is sad how you’re not looking for your soulmate, is this a popular school of thought or just your opinion I wonder? If you’re not in a relationship for love then what is the point?

As for the OP, I do hope you find your soulmate regardless of whether or not they use a g or G, as long as they are a good person it is all that matters.

I have found my soulmate thank you very much. But "love " it is not the one and only purpose in life.
We all look for love ,but that doesn't trump the love for Allah.
Plenty of great Muslim men to choose from, even though it can be very tempting sometimes to follow one's nafs, even when we know what's halal and what's haram, so I feel for Op. But nothing good can come from this situation,even though it may not seem like at the moment.
You say they are a good person so that's all that matters. Muslim choose a spouse based on his/her religion, a practicing Muslim by definition would be( in theory) a good person as Islam provides moral guidance. So please Op,do not be discouraged,there is someone for you out there.

OP didn't ask for your opinion, though. She asked for ours- Muslim mumsnetters.