Good Muslim friend of mine is experiencing depression

[stressedout1994]

Hello all,

Hope it is OK to post on here - looking for help from a specifically Muslim perspective. I have a good friend who is quite devout, and has suffered on / off with depression for some time.

Very sadly his father passed away a few years ago, and so he has tried to do a lot to support his mum and younger brother. I think things are - understandably - quite unhappy at home.

My friend is quite shy, and he is facing pressure to support his mother and brother, pressure from wider family to find a wife (he is in his mid twenties). I know he hasn't been going out much, and hasn't been enjoying work much either.

I am trying to be a good friend to him but would value a Muslim or South Asian person's view on this. My family are very liberal and secular, always talking talking talking about feelings etc whereas I understand from talking to him that some of the cultural norms in his family are quite different. I have tried to encourage him to get into health and fitness as think that can be helpful.

Any thoughts welcome ladies

Thank you

Hi and welcome! I'm so sorry to hear about your friend - may Allah ease his burdens and grant his father Jannat al-Firdaus.

I wonder if your friend might have taken on so much that he's not had time or space to process his loss. It's so hard when people are depending upon you, to find time to actually just be and to feel.

From my own experience of loss (a different type of loss, though), I found that reading Qur'an and reading about the experiences of The Prophet (peace be upon him) were so valuable to my own healing. It wasn't always easy. At times I felt lost, abandoned, even angry that my prayers for this terrible loss to somehow be magically reversed didn't seem to be answered. But sticking with it, keeping a time every day to just be alone with my loss and my faith, really did help.

If he's got a lot of external pressures on him, then having a supportive and understanding friend can be a great help, and there's a lot of evidence that exercise can be effective in reducing depression, so that's potentially a good option to encourage. If it would be appropriate, you could find an activity to do together, or you could encourage him to join a club or group. Something like hillwalking or cycling is brilliant because it gets people outside and reconnecting with nature.

Another thing to consider, especially if your friend has a history of depression, is whether he might want to seek help from healthcare professionals. There are lots of services available, including bereavement counselling, stress management resources, psychological therapies, medications, and there is no shame in seeking professional assistance. His GP might be a good person for him to contact and ask for advice about these.

Thank you @Scirocco - that's really helpful advice and good to hear your perspective. I think I will suggest to him that we go on a walk with some other friends from work soon. Thank you again !