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Muslim Mumsnetters

This board exists primarily for the use of Muslim Mumsnetters. Others are welcome to post but please be respectful.

New to Islam, dipping my toes in

24 replies

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 04/06/2024 23:31

Hello all. I am a white British woman (for context) living in a predominantly white British city and i have been interested in Islam for a good while now.

Most recently I have had a few troubles (I can't speak too much about them as I will be outed) and have found much faith and guidance from reading the Quran and trying to put my faith into Allah and his plans for me.

I have spent many years not being at all religious and identified as a Christian growing up - though we didn't really attend church or anything like that through my formative years. I did explore Christianity in detail in my teens but it never sat right with me, I found some aspects very contradictory (like the insistence that God and Jesus are the only available names which I don't fully understand in terms of a holistic religion).

Around 18 months ago I discovered Ramadan on tiktok (random I know) and I was overwhelmed by all the beautiful Muslim traditions of fasting together and eating together, it is something I want to parktake in though I failed this year due to travel and the fact I have some disabilities which make it a difficult task.

As I have read more of the Quran I have taken so much from it, for most part it seems to speak back to me in a way I haven't discovered from any other religous text. For example the idea that Allah has 99 names I took as not literal but as an example of how graciously and considerately we can praise Allah in a number of languages and names.

The war in Palestine has pushed me closer to Islam and I have even started wearing a hijab out and about from time to time though sometimes I feel very self-conscious doing this although recently I have felt more conscious without my hijab, it has become a security blanket for me.

i would love to have a mosque to visit but there is not one in my town and so I am sort of going at this alone. I did had online support but that has waned recently and I am looking for guidance and affirmations.

I have, this week, stopped eating products from pigs and I think I will become a habibi (is that the right name for full-time hijab wearer?) very soon.

I wanted to introduce myself on this board and ask for any favourite verses or readings of the Quran which would further my learning. Right now we are very tight on money and I find myself praying every day that we will have enough food on the table for our children. I am the only Muslim in our household which is tough, especially without the community support but I feel very strongly that this is my path and I will continue to follow it with ease and with small steps to being a better Muslim.

So hello! Any advice greatly received, especially those who are Muslim but do not have family who follow the same guidance.

Inshallah i will find my tribe and my connection with Allah will continue to grow as I can study and learn more about Islam as I go.

OP posts:
IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 04/06/2024 23:35

Sorry, I just wanted to add that my 14 year old partook in 2 weeks of Ramadan this year and it was honestly one of the hardest things I've ever had to witness. We were away and to watch him go without food or drink in the hottest parts of the day was truly difficult. I know why he did it (solidarity with Palestine) and I woke him up each morning to eat before the sun rose but there is an incredible change in your heart when you watch your loved ones go hungry and thirsty which I had not realised before. I understood the personal impact of fasting on the body but the community aspect of watching your loved ones be without food or water was eye-opening to me. I truly believe it is a beautiful faith and one I cannot wait to learn more about. I just wish I had some guidance because its a lot to take in alone.

OP posts:
therealcookiemonster · 05/06/2024 00:13

salaams sister. welcome to the board.
it's always lovely to meet those who are interested in Islam and hear their stories.

well done to your 14 year old for fasting! couldnt have been easy!

I am more than happy to share what little I know and point you towards some sources of guidance.
you are very welcome to PM me with any specific questions. or even if you are just looking for a Muslim sister to chat with.

was salam

Scirocco · 05/06/2024 04:23

Assalamu alaikum sister, and welcome.

Islam is a beautiful (and often sadly misunderstood) faith and I really do feel it has made me a better person.

Some of my personal favourite surahs to recite are Al-Ikhlas, Al-Falaq and An-Nas - they're the final three in the Qur'an. They were some of the first ones I learned.

MashaAllah, your son has done a lovely and very impressive thing in fasting this Ramadan. May Allah reward both of you.

I'm a revert, so while Alhamdulillah my husband and my DC are Muslim too, my wider family is Christian. It can lead to some challenges, but we try to remember that we all love each other and are trying to follow the paths that feel right to us, even if there are differences.

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 05/06/2024 10:58

Scirocco · 05/06/2024 04:23

Assalamu alaikum sister, and welcome.

Islam is a beautiful (and often sadly misunderstood) faith and I really do feel it has made me a better person.

Some of my personal favourite surahs to recite are Al-Ikhlas, Al-Falaq and An-Nas - they're the final three in the Qur'an. They were some of the first ones I learned.

MashaAllah, your son has done a lovely and very impressive thing in fasting this Ramadan. May Allah reward both of you.

I'm a revert, so while Alhamdulillah my husband and my DC are Muslim too, my wider family is Christian. It can lead to some challenges, but we try to remember that we all love each other and are trying to follow the paths that feel right to us, even if there are differences.

It’s so misunderstood. As a raised Christian I have been incredibly surprised just how it’s been possible to paint this ‘Muslims are the problem’ vibe on the whole planet but so many seem to fall for it.

One of the most beautiful things I learned recently was that to prevent fall-outs, the oldest church in Palestine had its keys held by one of the oldest Muslim families. Muslims have always been the keepers of peace and I think if we look at the Ottoman Empire and before it, we can see historically that these places with ancient churches, synagogues and Mosques standing side-by-side have only become battle grounds after Muslims have been removed.

I hope more people learn about Islam and its true colours because it will make the world a better place

OP posts:
anotherlevel · 05/06/2024 17:18

Asalamualaikum @IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour it's lovely to hear you are embracing Islam. It's a beautiful religion of peace and it's been widely misunderstood around the world by those who are not familiar with it.

I was born a Muslim and there's still so much to learn! So I'm happy to learn together!

When did you take your shahada if you don't mind me asking?

Your son is impressive! Well done him and for his dedication.

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 05/06/2024 21:09

anotherlevel · 05/06/2024 17:18

Asalamualaikum @IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour it's lovely to hear you are embracing Islam. It's a beautiful religion of peace and it's been widely misunderstood around the world by those who are not familiar with it.

I was born a Muslim and there's still so much to learn! So I'm happy to learn together!

When did you take your shahada if you don't mind me asking?

Your son is impressive! Well done him and for his dedication.

I haven't taken my Shahada yet. I was worried about what it would mean to give up certain aspects of my life and also be in a family that is non-religious at best. My husband is definitely not going to convert though I think the children will consider doing so in their futures. My daughter goes to a CofE school so has started talking about God a lot and I remind her that God has many names and each one is a blessing. That in Gods different names are a myriad of connections to the divine and how very special that is. I think for me that is the biggest connection with Islam, the respect and honesty that Muslims have for other religions and cultures.

I only wish I lived somewhere with a Muslim community I felt I could become a part of, but maybe that will happen in the future. For now I am on a journey of self-discovery. I have told Allah that hes the one privately and I speak to him freely and openly most days. I do read my Quran but could do with guidance on the different parts of it and what is best to focus on.

OP posts:
anotherlevel · 05/06/2024 21:27

Everyone's journey to Islam is beautiful and when you decide the time is right for you, you'll know when. It's been a privilege to have been born into Islam b it I've always felt envious (in a good sense) of those who have chosen to revert because Allah chooses and guides whom He wills and once you revert all your previous sins are wiped clean and you begin your new life. It's amazing.

The Quran, as you know is a miracle in itself and it was brought down over a period of 23 years and revealed in different places. There are parts of it that will make more sense when you study the Seerah of Prophet Muhammad (SAW). There are podcasts you can listen to on Spotify and some will refer you which part of the Quran was revealed when.

anotherlevel · 05/06/2024 21:28

@IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour sorry I posted too soon so didn't get to finish my post. My little one is up now so I'll come back after.

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 05/06/2024 21:39

anotherlevel · 05/06/2024 21:28

@IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour sorry I posted too soon so didn't get to finish my post. My little one is up now so I'll come back after.

Thank you, I would love to have the podcast details and any books also that are relevant.

OP posts:
therealcookiemonster · 05/06/2024 21:53

this is someone I reccommend (I know him personally, very knowledgeable although so young mash'Allah)

https://www.instagram.com/shaykhasimawan?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==

he has his own podcasts where he is offering lessons on various topics eg. the life of the Prophet SAWS

also not sure if you have come across Shaykh Abdul Hakim Murad (he is a revert)

he runs the Cambridge Muslim college

they have a lot of free resources

https://www.cambridgemuslimcollege.ac.uk/

https://youtube.com/@cambridgemuslimcollege?si=Bt6yMvIFQQkDfFbQ
this is their YouTube channel

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/shaykhasimawan?igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw%3D%3D

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 05/06/2024 22:05

therealcookiemonster · 05/06/2024 21:53

this is someone I reccommend (I know him personally, very knowledgeable although so young mash'Allah)

https://www.instagram.com/shaykhasimawan?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==

he has his own podcasts where he is offering lessons on various topics eg. the life of the Prophet SAWS

also not sure if you have come across Shaykh Abdul Hakim Murad (he is a revert)

he runs the Cambridge Muslim college

they have a lot of free resources

https://www.cambridgemuslimcollege.ac.uk/

https://youtube.com/@cambridgemuslimcollege?si=Bt6yMvIFQQkDfFbQ
this is their YouTube channel

Edited

Thank you!

OP posts:
Fab238 · 05/06/2024 22:15

"He found you lost, and guided you".

Welcome to Islam sister. I just wanted to say to you regarding your money worries - as Muslims, it is our belief that your kids bring their own "rizq" in this world. The translation for the word rizq is basically that Allah will provide for you and your family. You have most certainly found the right path and I sincerely wish you the best. I'll try and answer any queries you may have, but you should definitely reach out to your local Islamic community - they'll gladly assist you.

anotherlevel · 05/06/2024 22:17

So this podcast by Yasir Qadhi is a bit more of an advanced version of the Seerah

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3kgtPIs4ZwIijFRvoCWMbn?si=vxwskeYQSRSb7UuuSaMwQ

And this one is not as in depth but still a good listen.

open.spotify.com/episode/4MP3kgXJ0wGTnKVdmAGo33?si=B9c0iWisTT-yMxJwTV53Bg

Omer Sulaiman talks are very inspirational and he explains things in such a peaceful, calm understanding manner.

Building a relationship with the Quran is really personal and I'd say read the parts that you can relate to at that time of reading.

In Sha Allah this is the start of a beautiful journey for you :)

Cantalever · 05/06/2024 22:25

I am a bit bothered that the number of names for God matters so much to you, OP. That is not an issue for Christians, so it is sad (for me as a Christian) that you left the faith over something unimportant. What attracted you to Islam? No offence to anyone brought up in it, but its sexism would put most non-Muslims off joining it.
However, I hope you find the spiritual path to God that is right for you - no matter what name we give to God.💐

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 05/06/2024 22:38

Fab238 · 05/06/2024 22:15

"He found you lost, and guided you".

Welcome to Islam sister. I just wanted to say to you regarding your money worries - as Muslims, it is our belief that your kids bring their own "rizq" in this world. The translation for the word rizq is basically that Allah will provide for you and your family. You have most certainly found the right path and I sincerely wish you the best. I'll try and answer any queries you may have, but you should definitely reach out to your local Islamic community - they'll gladly assist you.

I wouldn't even know how to find them. I have checked local facebook pages etc and there is no online group or meeting house here. I am going to ask a good friend to take me to a local mosque but its a long car journey away so not somewhere I could go regularly

OP posts:
IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 05/06/2024 22:46

Cantalever · 05/06/2024 22:25

I am a bit bothered that the number of names for God matters so much to you, OP. That is not an issue for Christians, so it is sad (for me as a Christian) that you left the faith over something unimportant. What attracted you to Islam? No offence to anyone brought up in it, but its sexism would put most non-Muslims off joining it.
However, I hope you find the spiritual path to God that is right for you - no matter what name we give to God.💐

I don't witness much sexism in Islam to be honest. They were the first people to have a concept of divorce. In Islam women own all their own money and their husbands money, the reverse is not true. Muslims have both a cultural and social obligation to provide for their families (including past wives) which is not something I see happening in Christian societies.

The many names for God is an interesting one because its something I have always struggled with when it comes to my Christian upbringing (and just to be clear I left Christianity long before I looked into Islam)

I have always seen various religions as glorious ways of communicating with the divine, when I first started exploring Islam I was surprised to find that this is a sacred part of the religion. Someone who has learned a different language or taught their whole lives to pray in a different way are still accepted as being connected to God. The fact Christianity insists on focus on just Jesus (the violent story of which I find difficult to connect to) sin and one name for one God, I think shows failings in the religion. For a long time I have seen connection with God as looking at one big ball in the sky - the position of every person be it from something as large as culture to as simple as climate, means a slightly different connection with God. I want to celebrate all those different connections in the finding of my own. Islam allows for this, Christians are evangelical and so will insist that it is only in accepting the names 'God' and 'Jesus' can a proper connection with God be found. Well what if someone is deeply spiritual but has never even heard those words? I can't understand how they are dismissed by something as almighty as God for simply learning a different way to communicate with him.

What surprised me about Islam was when I read the Quran and realised it said exactly the same thing, albeit in a different way.

OP posts:
therealcookiemonster · 05/06/2024 22:53

Cantalever · 05/06/2024 22:25

I am a bit bothered that the number of names for God matters so much to you, OP. That is not an issue for Christians, so it is sad (for me as a Christian) that you left the faith over something unimportant. What attracted you to Islam? No offence to anyone brought up in it, but its sexism would put most non-Muslims off joining it.
However, I hope you find the spiritual path to God that is right for you - no matter what name we give to God.💐

Hi there welcome to the Muslim mumsnetters board.

please would you kindly give some examples of how Islam sanctions sexism? I would be really interested to know

to call a cherished aspect of someone else's faith unimportant, is disrespectful, wouldn't you agree?

to clarify, the 99 names of God are names that refer to His Atrributes and Essence - we praise Him and know Him by remembering His names. it is central to Muslim worship and spiritual connection. OP has beautifullu explained her own particular attachment to this concept, but many of us find solace by calling on God by His various names eg. the Ya Rahman (the Beneficent) , Ya Latif (the Gentle) etc. etc. it's important to understand a concept before deeming it unimportant.

therealcookiemonster · 05/06/2024 22:54

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 05/06/2024 23:30

therealcookiemonster · 05/06/2024 22:53

Hi there welcome to the Muslim mumsnetters board.

please would you kindly give some examples of how Islam sanctions sexism? I would be really interested to know

to call a cherished aspect of someone else's faith unimportant, is disrespectful, wouldn't you agree?

to clarify, the 99 names of God are names that refer to His Atrributes and Essence - we praise Him and know Him by remembering His names. it is central to Muslim worship and spiritual connection. OP has beautifullu explained her own particular attachment to this concept, but many of us find solace by calling on God by His various names eg. the Ya Rahman (the Beneficent) , Ya Latif (the Gentle) etc. etc. it's important to understand a concept before deeming it unimportant.

Edited

Interestingly, though I found myself drawn to Islam by the idea of Allah having many names and the freedom this offers in terms of language, culture and so on; I have found myself calling upon those names in my communication with him. I will openly ask for Allah to cast his abundance upon me at time of hardship (there are many at the moment).

I like to see things from as many angles as possible and I think Islam encompassing and loving anyone who has a connection with a One God, even if they call him by a different name, is deeply beautiful.

OP posts:
IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 05/06/2024 23:34

I wonder if we should have a feminism in Islam thread? There seems to be a lot of confusion about the topic when in reality most of the things we consider to be great works of feminists of the past, have really stemmed from Islamic communities.

Russian feminists were some of the first in Europe to explore and research the feminist attributes of the Ottoman Empire where men were held in deep disregard by the local community and their families if they did not support their wives (past and present) and it was the first place divorce was possible.

Those Russian feminists then greatly influenced the suffragette movements in Britain and lead to the wonderful work done by those great women.

I know it will come down to headscarves but this is not essential in Islam though as someone who has worn hijabs I have to say they are incredibly freeing rather than being some sort of barrier and I personally have felt safer in strong Muslim countries than I have in some Christian ones when travelling.

I hoped this little patch of mumsnet was for Muslim Mumsnetters though, rather than anyone who wished to debate what they perceive to be negative parts of Islamic culture, even when, ironically, they have not really got much experience or correct information about it.

OP posts:
anotherlevel · 05/06/2024 23:39

A short duah you could read when you find yourself in times of hardship @IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour is:

Fa Inna Ma'al Usri Yusra. Inna Ma'al Usri Yusra.

Meaning: Verily with every hardship there is ease, with every hardship there is ease.

Elopelo · 05/06/2024 23:56

Salaam Alaikum @IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour and welcome!

I would second the pp suggestion re: Abdal Hakim Murad, he has written numerous books too and translated the major classics in the Islamic traditions into English. An extremely wise and soft spoken gentleman. His books are eye openers for me, and I think you will really enjoy reading them too. His knowledge of other religions is also very good and he is able to see the interesting connections between them which may be useful given what you said about Christianity etc.

TakeMe2Insanity · 06/06/2024 00:00

Asalam alaykum @IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour

Springchickenonion · 12/06/2024 21:30

Wa aleykum selam sis! Fellow revert here of 16 years! Welcome!

Didn't want to read and run. Please feel free to DM me if you want a bit of support. All the sisters here are lovely and very knowledgeable too!

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