Breastfeeding

[anotherlevel]

Asalam

I just wanted to get some advice on breastfeeding and wondered if any of you could help please?

My DD will be turning 2 in a couple of months and she is still currently breastfeeding, mainly at bed time and it's how she falls asleep.

I've been desperately trying to wean her off as I know the Quran says to breastfeed for 2 whole years. But she's finding it hard to let go.

Is it sinful/permissible to breastfeed her past her 2nd birthday?

Does anyone have any successful weaning stories they could share please?

Jazakallah

Salaams sister. As far as I am aware it is not a sin to carry on breastfeeding after that age.
from my memory of the verse in the Qur'an Shareef it mentions that milk from the breast is the child's Haq (entitlement) for 2 years. doesn't have to be from the biological mum, wetnurses also acceptable.

however as with all religious matters I would reccommend you speak to a qualified scholar/shaikh. I can tell you what I know but I am not a scholar by any stretch of the imagination.

@anotherlevel with my DC I stopped at different times for various reasons and never reached the two year mark with any of them. One of my Sil's did and I think she just went cold turkey as weaning didn't work and her little one was fine after a day or two. Infact she thought the guilt made it more difficult for her.

Thanks for replying. I wasn't sure if it was upto their second birthday or if you can past it. I'll look and see if I can find a scholar to help x

See it was the same with my other DCs as they stopped on their own accord (mainly because I was pregnant and the taste of the milk was different). But for this little one she seems to be addicted.

Maybe cold turkey it is.

@anotherlevel I always thought it was two years but then I came across this so maybe it depends on the situation in which case as you say best to consult a scholar

In principle, the maximum period of breastfeeding in normal conditions is two years [24 lunar months]. This is the preferred view in the Hanafi Madhab.

However, if the child is weak and weaning will have an adverse effect, then it will be permissible to breastfeed the child till the 30th month.

Jazakallah @Parkingt111
I think in her case it's more comfort and habit thing than a need for the milk. So maybe it's best to stop asap.

@anotherlevel barakAllah. You have done amazing to feed for this long, may Allah reward you!

I remember with one my friend's babies, we organised a holiday around the two year mark. she was so distracted and surrounded by us aunties that she didn't make much fuss at all. maybe take her for an activity or something on the day you stop to make it easier?

I BF beyond two years- I'd had another baby in between and knew that suddenly withdrawing the breast would've caused DC1 psychological harm. In the Hanabli or Shafi madhab, BF is permitted until the age of 7 so there's definitely a difference of opinion amongst the scholars which means you're allowed to make up your own mind on the matter.

Hi op, the limit according to the Quran is 2 and a half years, as 30 months are mentioned. So you still have some time! There's something about that age where children reach an age of understanding and are far easier to wean. This was my personal experience also. I wouldn't worry about it just yet.

Assalamu alaikum, I'm going with the principle of there being different scholarly views so within that framework I'm trying to do what's best for DC, balancing recommendations with how DC is coping.

DC is 26 months now (wow, that was a quick 26 months) and we're down to a morning feed (not every morning though) and a bedtime feed (not every bedtime though), with an emergency one available for bad dreams. I've got 30 months in my head as a sort of goal for stopping, but I'm not going to beat myself up if we go beyond that. DC had a rough start with physical health issues and was tiny for months (newborn and 1-3 month clothes' weight-wise at 6 months) so breastfeeding was one of the things we really prioritised - DC couldn't have most formula and could only have Neocate which is a life-saving product but really did not taste good.

It can be strange how many different cultural views there are on breastfeeding. My (non-Muslim) relatives are a bit weirded out - only one of them breastfed past 3 months, so they see it as me doing a 'weird hippy lifestyle choice'.

@Scirocco that's amazing that you persevered! My experience with my third DC was similar to yours. Except she was hospitalised for really long periods and eventually my supply dwindled sadly, she also has lots of allergies and couldn't go on normal formula, she was prescribed SMA Althera which is a lifesaver but its also quite stressful as she doesn't really eat food, even though she should be now and this formula isn't great in terms of nutrition.
Please pray that she starts eating properly, we have gone from refusing everything to approx half a meal a day which I'm trying to build up on

@Parkingt111 I'll make dua for her and for you, iA. How old is she now?

DC barely ate until they were 1, then suddenly devoured everything and shot up the centiles. Now we're going through a phase of no hot food, no sauces, and no recognisable potatoes...

It's such a worry when they're small though! Will she take a multivitamin? (We used a liquid one and a vitamin D supplement).

Apologies I’ve just seen this is on muslim
mumsnetters rather than infant feeding, I will ask for my first comment to be removed.

@Scirocco sounds like you have a good plan in place. IA it works for you both. X

@Parkingt111 I'll make duah that your little one starts eating. It's such a worry and can be stressful but I'm sure you're doing the best you can x

I managed to ask a scholar/imam and this is the response I got:

"It is permissible
But it is not counted among the breastfeeding that causes the child to be mahram"

That's ok, you're more than welcome to post on here too x

@Scirocco she's just turned one. My other two were eating properly at this stage so I am abit worried but the HV said that due to the long periods of time that she spent in hospital it could put her back abit.
The consultant on the other hand always gives me a stern talking to 😬 even though I have tried everything
Just need to persevere

Thank you for sharing that. Thats really interesting about the milk relationships not being established after two years

@Parkingt111 I think the HV's advice sounds similar to my experience - it wasn't until after 1 that food has been seen as safe and enjoyable...

Not sure if you are still reading this thread OP. All mine where breastfed for 2 to 3 years. My last one was 3.5 years when I fi ally got her to stop.

A friend of mine husband is an imam and he said the child has the right to be breastfed for 2 years but they didn't have to stop. She was quite small anyway. I tried weaning for a long time and it was just days and weeks of screaming and crying and no one sleeping. So I decided it was in everyone's best interest to continue a bit longer.