When your child does something totally unexpected ...

[Quattrocento]

DS has always sung a lot. On the loo, in the bath, on the football pitch (truly - you wouldn't believe it) playing games. His parents are both tone deaf, but the child can't stop singing.

So when he joined the school choir, it seemed like a natural progression. The school choir is quite good as school choirs go, I think. Although it's difficult to tell, being tone deaf. They practice twice a week or so and enter a few carefully chosen music festivals.

Then DS took himself (note took himself - we didn't arrange this) down to the local cathedral for an audition. He got into the cathedral choir and now sings with them. Six times a week - MINIMUM. Four weeknight practices and twice on Sundays and then extras for tours and concerts and stuff.

This music thing is getting out of hand now. He is singing around ten times a week and he STILL wants to sing some more.

He's getting a fantastic musical education - with which we as his parents are neither use nor ornament. That's not the problem. The problem is, what happens when his voice breaks? What happens if he wakes up when he is 12 (he is nearly 10 now) croaking like a frog? I'm a bit worried because I don't know what people do in this situation. What happens if he can't sing any more?

AAARGH. I'd really like him to balance out the singing with something else - just so he has something in case the voice goes completely.

Quattro, I haven't got any answers - my DSs are only 2 and 4 - but he sounds amazing. Does he play any other instrument? If he wants to stay with music that might be the next thing to try. I can really feel for you and him with the voice breaking trauma.

Does he play any instruments?

I know when I was a choir/music school many ears ago all the choristers learned an instrument too.

Many of them left after their voices broke, but some continued at the school as musicians, taking up singing again (along side their "other" instrument) when their voice had settled down.

Aww, thanks both

He does play the piano but he gets really frustrated with it. Thing is, he can hear the notes perfectly in his head but when his fingers don't oblige, he gets cross.

And he can just sing the pieces he is trying to play straight through without any fumbles or wrong notes - so he gets doubly cross and gives up.

See I think the piano is the wrong instrument to start with children. It requires a lot of concentration and practice - hands apart, hands together etc. Maybe I should try to get him to start another instrument ...

His choirmaster / organist may well have some ideas. Most will have been through music college and will have a wide experience, both of their own age and the children under their care.

I didn't get on very well with the piano - voice is my first instrument - but I also play the bassoon (badly atm!).

Well worth a chat anyway!

That's a good idea. I'll talk to the director of music and see what he thinks.

Thing is though, this cathedral stuff, it's so enveloping - like another family. Much though I'd like to have DS back, I don't really want him to lose that. I'm really encouraged by people (men) carrying on singing after their voices break.

oh meant to add - some of them then rejoined the catherdral choir when older as lay clerks.

actually I think the piano is something that all musicians should be able to play.

And certainly at the music school I went to everyone was expected to learn the piano along side whatever other instrument (or voice) they learned.

You learn both clefs, and music theory (which if they ever want to do any music beyond school/choir stuff) is so much easier if you can "see" it on the keyboard.

(imo)

Quattro, my DS was the same - always singing, and found himself various choirs and drama groups over the years. DH is quite musical, but I am tone deaf, so he must get it from his dad.

He's now 15, with a very loud, very deep voice and he's the only boy in the senior choir at school, but he's also been accepted for the National Boys Choir of Scotland - Changed Voices section. He goes away at Easter for a week, then they put on a concert at the end. So there are places to sing when his voice breaks, and as someone else said, he'll get the good parts because so many boys give up singing.

TaF I do agree with the piano though. It's been a great grounding, even if I do play extremely badly!

my DS1 is learning the violin (not particularly well lol), and although I haven't yet started teaching the piano, I have shown him some bits of music theory based around the piano and it's really helped.

and he's in for a hell of a shock if I decides he wants to continue his violin into YR5..........as I WILL be teaching him the piano..........no matter how badly he actually plays it - if he at least understands it I'm sure it'll make a differece in his violin playing.

T&F - thanks

Did you just see what I nearly did? Nearly encouraged DS to give up piano in favour of an easier instrument. And that would have been wrong.

Blimey. It's not easy being an unmusical parent.

But I never saw DS having a musical career or anything. I just thought he liked singing. Although it is getting a bit obsessional now.

AP - aww thanks - hopefully he will still be able to sing

that's just my (unprofessional) opinion mind - I may be a church organist, but I have no qualifications behind me except for Grade 8 organ (and a few other instrument grades dotted around behind/alongside).

I don't know why - as it's not really relevant, but there was a lovely old lady at our church who sang in the church choir for entire life (and a local choir as well for much of it), she died recently at the grand old age of 96.

She couldn't play the piano very well, but she played well enough to be able to accompany herself while she sang at home when she was unable to get out

Quattrocento

I'm really really no expert, but wanted to chip in re piano lessons. Your DS's experience with it is fairly common I think. There is a section on piano in The Right Instrument for your Child (a book that gets recommended frequently on here). It says that piano lessons are responsible for putting a lot of people off music, so if your son doesn't love it, it certainly shouldn't be his main instrument. (It is worth keeping up if he wants to study music at Music School or University, but he could probably have a break from it for a while and pick it up later when he's older if he thinks he's going down that path)

IIRC Julian Lloyd Webber in his autobiography describes his loathing of piano lessons and how he was considered a bit of a musical duffer until someone in his family took him to a concert and he saw the cellos and said "I want to play THAT."

I think talking to the Director of Music is a really good idea. I know that sometimes choristers I've known have needed a bit of time off during the voice breaking process (if it's a long drawn out thing you can't sing till it settles) and then he might want to do an intensive course in a new instrument to fill the gap.

I'm only a self-taught musician of sorts, but just wanted to respond to the obsessional aspect. Singing is such a pleasure, it's pure physical pleasure when it goes well - your whole body opens up in a big whoosh - which is perhaps why your DS is wanting to practice ten times a week! He sounds great