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Music

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Encouraging DS to play with others

5 replies

WhosPink · 04/10/2024 15:15

DS13 is an excellent drummer and plays in his school big band. He wants to play in a rock band but "doesn't know anyone". Now, when I was at school, a thousand years ago, you just put a note on the student notice board in the music department, or asked kids who you saw dragging instruments about, or just heard someone singing to themselves and approached them. I'd probably been in half a dozen different "bands" by his age. Apparently "no-one does things like that" and it would be "rude" to approach someone who you didn't already know, especially if, shock horror, they were in a different year.

I've pointed out that he's now at secondary school and it's up to him to take the initiative on these kind of things, not parents and teachers but he still seems to be of the mindset that there are grown-ups who organise all this kind of stuff for you.

How did other parents of burgeoning musicians encourage them to self-start? I know in the classical world its more usual for parents and music teachers to be the ones organising ensembles etc, but in the rock and roll world it kind of goes against the whole spirit of the thing!

OP posts:
nootcoffee · 04/10/2024 15:22

i’m with him on that Op

he can’t put a sign up on the notice board.

does he not have any friends that play an instrument or may know someone through someone who’s keen?

nootcoffee · 04/10/2024 15:23

No one in the current school band?

either way Op… i’m afraid to say that nothing you suggest is likely to be put in to practise. It will just have to develop organically and might not be until sixth form or older

Frostycottagegarden · 04/10/2024 15:26

If the school music department is any good, can get have a word with his teacher? Or email them? They may be happy to support a band at school.

WhosPink · 04/10/2024 15:28

Thanks for the response, I did suggest talking to the bass player (very good, plays both upright and electric) in the school band but he's in the year above so apparently this would be impossible. None of his friends (a very small group he has had since infants) play instruments unfortunately. He's not shy, but I think he has very rigid ideas about social interaction.

OP posts:
WhosPink · 04/10/2024 15:38

@Frostycottagegarden I think it will come to that, maybe just a suggestion that they put in a system to allow kids to connect, rather than actually organise bands themselves. Maybe just a whiteboard that people can put their names on "We're looking for a singer and a bassist" kind of thing. Come to think of it a lot of the bands I played with actually got together through youth club rather than school. Unfortunately no youth clubs here.

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