121 music lessons at school

[Chrissybp]

My DD was having instrument lessons during school hours with the school music teacher who has suddenly retired. The lessons take place in a small music room at the back of the school hall. As a replacement they have a male teacher who is external and comes in especially to cover these lessons. My DH is not comfortable with our DD having lessons 121 with an unknown new male teacher in a room without anyone else present. What are your thoughts? I feel terrible because I’m sure he’s a nice man but you hear so many horror stories. DH thinks I should remove her from the situation and find a lesson she can attend outside school that I can stay for. Would love to hear opinions on this and what you would do if it was your child. I feel like school are going to think we are neurotic if I voice this concern and obviously the school will have done all relevant background checks. This is primary school FYI.

[PatriciaHolm]

Did he have an issue with the previous teacher? If not, why not? The new one will have a DBS just as the other one did - there is no more risk with the new one than there was with the old, or with any other teacher in her school.

Many music teachers will request parents outside the classroom anyway - parents are terribly distracting!

[All2Well]

It's pretty standard practice.

They'll be DBS checked.

If it's making DH anxious all you can do is look for a female teacher in the community.

[picturethispatsy]

I can understand your concerns. It would make me feel uncomfortable too even if he had a DBS check. I don’t think you can ‘over protect’ a child in this way.
I don’t think you should worry about sounding neurotic, you are your child’s advocate and protector.
So I suppose you have two choices: find a female teacher privately or ‘take the risk’….

[UsingChangeofName]

Your dh is being ridiculous.
I feel very sorry for your dc if they have to give up music lessons because of your dh's paranoia

[sheselectric24]

My dc have had 1-2-1 lessons with a male teacher for years. It took place in a separate part of school which was empty apart from the teacher and my dc (or other dc who had lessons obviously). Never crossed my mind that this is not ok. These teachers will see hundreds of students alone in their work. It's very unlikely that anything will happen during this time.
Your dh does know that your dc could be alone with any male teacher in school at any time doesn't he? What does he propose? That you remove your dc from school if she is assigned a male teacher in year?

When is get asked how people can prevent or protect their dc from abuse my answer is always to educate them about feeling uncomfortable and speaking out. You cannot keep dc away from abusers unfortunately so you have to give them the tools to protect themselves.

[horseymum]

My children have had private lessons from male teachers both at home and at a music school. I would say it's normal to have them on their own but also common to have pairs/ small groups. Maybe you could request that? As others have said, they need to learn to keep talking to you and let you know if they feel uncomfortable. It's a shame to miss out but maybe you could find an alternative private teacher who comes to your house. I wouldn't dismiss your dhs concerns.