I can remember certain songs as a kid which would overwhelm me with emotion and love for my parents, mainly my dad. And I’d never want the moment to end. I think back to being on holiday where we stayed up late in the warm evenings, dad smiling, laughing, totally carefree. But it would be mixed with a bit of angst because I knew the moment would have to end - the song would finish, we’d need to go home for the evening, the holiday would be over.... so it was like immense joy and but tinged with sadness.
I keep playing Take Me Home Country Roads by John Denver to think of my dad. I don’t even know if he liked it. I can’t connect him to a memory of a time when it was playing, but it makes me think of him anyway. He died a couple of years back so I can’t ask him. Oh how I long for one of those holiday moments with him again.
Then my mum. We are pretty much NC. We’ve totally lost our way and cannot see eye to eye. She’s causes a lot of damage to all relationships around her. She is a huge Beatles fan.
I love Golden Slumber and Carry That Weight. Both the Beatles versions and the Jennifer Hudson medley from the kids film Sing.
I would love to have a relationship with my mum where we could have a moment listening to those songs. Again, I don’t even know what she thinks of them, and don’t recall hearing them in her company, but they make me think of her. Often I feel angry with her, bit tonight I just feel sad.
I’m sure my old therapist would have a field day with this lot of rambling!!!