Preparing for death in advance

[EveleenWinters]

Hi
I'm disabled & need to plan things to get it straight in my head.
I'm my mums primary carer
She is Tennant in a property & my relative lives with her as an occupant.
All the bills are in my mother's name.
I've got power of attorney, we have a joint bank account etc.
She's very poorly & I'm running two lives.
I need a to do list of what to do when she passes away.
She has a will & I'm Executor. She's on benefits & doesn't have much to begin with, no savings etc.

On the advice from social services I'm going to be appointee for her benefits.

I'm in touch with the housing officer.
But what else am I supposed to do when she passes away.

All the utilities will need to be transferred to my relative but she isn't interested at all & is happy to leach off my mother.

It's my mother's benefits that pay the bills & rent.

How does gas & electricity & water get transferred over to other occupant?
I know I'll have to contact dwp, the bank, sky tv the housing officer.
Funeral home, funeral cover.

I wish someone did a handbook of what to do.
Godwilling she'll be with me a while yet. But I want to put everything in a book in steps for myself.
Then I want to do a book for my husband of what to do if I die.

I know this might be morbid to some, but I'd rather be prepared so that once all the jobs are done I can finally grieve.
& my husband isn't well either, so I dont want him to stress if I die.
Many thanks for any & all advice
VG

Sounds like you’ve thought of all the big things :)

Number one on the list - breathe, don’t panic. You don’t have to do anything except call a doctor and funeral director in the first few days.

Finances-wise, I’d make sure you have a list of all the accounts she has and a copy of the will. Policy numbers are helpful, but if not, full name, address, date of birth and national insurance number will be useful to have to hand to help companies find the right accounts. List bank accounts, utilities, subscriptions etc. Incomings and outgoings. All the direct debits and standing orders from each account. All you need to do is call all of these companies up within a week or two, and they’ll each talk you through anything that needs to happen. Prioritise the big things first - e.g. any income sources (to avoid overpayments going into her bank account), and anything that could run up a bill that you don’t want to end up paying (e.g. utilities).

Get a few copies of the death certificate, and make some photocopies and some companies will need to see it. Some will accept a copy and others will need to see an original. Avoid sending the original to anyone unless you have to.

Also check this list here to work through the government and benefits side of things:
https://www.gov.uk/when-someone-dies

It’s not your responsibility to sort out setting up things in the other occupant’s name - leave that for them to pick up with the companies themselves. Utility companies will send letters to the occupier if they need to, just like when you move house, and the other occupant will need to sort it out themselves. Don’t get involved.

If your mum has very little money and the bank account is joint you may not need to apply for probate.

The main thing is to tell all organisations about the passing - there is a tell us once service.

I would let the landlord know - will the relative have the right to take over the tenancy or will they have to serve notice on her?

I would also notify council tax, gas, electricity and water as well as any other subscriptions - normally relatively easy to do online - and provide readings. If you do not then you risk money being spent on the relative's utility bills. Hopefully you can get details of all the accounts and reference numbers.

It's a good idea to get lots of copies of any death certificate.

If there are any very sentimental items at your mother's property would you be concerned that they may disappear ? Just to flag up if you have concerns about the relative.

In relation to your husband, I would not bother drawing up a guide for him as what he needs to do depends on whether you own- and hopefully no one needs to consider that for a long time.

You mention you have made a will but do you have an LPA and does your husband have one for you?

Also, if your husband is unwell and you don't want him stressed you could tell him to use a probate solicitor if you have assets. Depending on the complexity of your assets some solicitors charge a relatively modest £500 plus vat ( others thousands for probate ) so he would just need to chose one with care.

The main thing is to try not to stress about it - I have dealt with one parent's probate myself and feel like I am the admin person for the other.