TLTR I fell over and learnt can't get up with significant aid. This makes me feel so sad and vulnerable. Can anyone help me feel better?
----------------------
I have a rare neurology condition which has damaged my legs and arms and has got a little worse in my legs recently. Confirmed by regular nerve conduction tests .I am awaiting treatment to try to freeze the continuing nerve damage but it will never improve from where things are now.
I use a wheelchair outside my house at all times. Within my house I use double crutches and walls, door frames etc to move around my house. My consultant knows and approves, saying that the more I am upright, the better it is for my organs.
Recently I fell in my garden, after trying to stand up with crutches from a sturdy garden chair, my legs just stopped working and I crumpled to the floor.
I couldn't get up again.
Luckily my DH was working in the garden and came over to help me. He is disabled himself MS, he managed to lift me a little but my legs are too damaged to support myself.
It was so horrible and embarrassing. We had to roll and drag and scoot me over flags and the door threshold Using blankets and dog beds to soften the edges. It was painful and I had so many bruises and scrapes getting me the two metres into our house. Then getting me off the floor and back onto the sofa was another distressing exercise.
I felt awful and this has made me worry about leaving the house and I didn't go into the garden again, as I worried it would happen again.
I am lucky that when I told my parents a few days later, they bought me a second hand Manger Camel lifting cushion, so that when/if I fall again. I have something my DH or our kids can use to get me up again. My parents joked that they would need it soon enough so they will borrow it, which is funny as they are much fitter and more active than me in their 70's.
So along with my powerchair I also have to make sure my husband loads up the massive duffle bag with the manger camel cushion before I can leave the house.
I hate being so vulnerable, and having to drag another piece of kit around with me. But I am also very grateful that my parents could fund such an expensive piece of equipment and it means I can go and sit in my garden again, as long as I take my phone to call for help in case of falls.
Sigh, I don't want to need more help, i am so sad to be so dependant on others.
Make me feel better and more positive about things.