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Autistic mom and new baby

11 replies

Ironside13 · 29/02/2024 07:14

I’m not sure I’ve chosen the right title for what I’m asking as it’s complicated. It isn’t my issue, but a good friend has asked for my help because she keeps hitting a brick wall on every turn. It’s a sad situation. So now this is my issue because what I’m told has broken my heart.
My daughter is 50 she has autism but I’ve always been her advocate nothing like this has ever happened to her.

A young autistic girl who Was in care from age 12 due to a family trauma. Now 18, she has full capacity, She Got pregnant by an Older man who is not in her life now.
When baby was born SS said she had to be kept in hospital for three weeks, 3 days after baby birth Social services made application to court to give themselves joint parental rights. She was kept in hospital for 3 weeks while she was assessed around her baby.

The midwife gave her report which says, no issues the young girl was carering for her baby in every way, she said she was capable of looking after her baby. The young girl has no family at all, she is living in a supported living house, has her own tenancy agreement, the SS have taken the baby away and put into foster home.

This young girl is independent can look after herself and her home, she goes out independently. This young girl is distraught, the friend who asked if I had any ideas is herself a professional carer and if she can’t get around this system and get help I’m not sure I can. I’m hoping someone on here may have ideas we can follow up.

Her social worker a male has been witnessed laughing that this girl when she is distraught, he said she has to go into a mother and baby unit, then added but there aren’t any spaces and you could be waiting a very long time.
My carer friend said a mother and baby unit would not be suitable as her time in care has traumatised her so much she doesn’t like living with others that is why she’s in supported living house.

The SW has been reported for his attitude and the way he talks to this young girl but nothing is happening. My friend thinks because the young girl was in care system which was traumatic for her and she has autism that the SS are, I can’t believe I’m saying this, they seem to be doing everything to stop her having her baby back.

She needs support with learning more about being a mom, she doesn’t need punishing apparently the midwife report is being ignored.

i have read and seen in media of other people with learning disabilities having babies and keeping them, does anyone know how they get support?

She does have a solicitor appointed by Local Authorities they have said there are so many cases like this out-there.

The only advice I could give was call Mencap helpline, get a new solicitor and get her an advocate.

Is there anyone who can think of any other route we can go down.

im so sorry this is such a long post.

OP posts:
MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 29/02/2024 07:19

Who is all this information coming From? Will there not have been many many meetings prior to birth? They don't just remove baby because mums been in care/has a autism diagnosis I think

lilyfire · 29/02/2024 08:03

Her solicitor won’t have been appointed by the LA. It’s her choice who her solicitor is and it should be someone on the Law Society Children Panel. If it isn’t then she may want to change to one. She shouldn’t have to wait for a mother and baby placement - even if it means being placed some distance away.

TheSnowyOwl · 29/02/2024 08:13

Does the woman have learning difficulties as well as autism? There has to be more to the reasons. I’m glad you are looking into supporting her but I think you need to know more details to be able to do it properly.

I’m autistic and have a higher than average IQ and several children. I’ve never had SS involvement for anything. Autism doesn’t mean learning difficulties or that you can’t look after children etc, and the way you describe her doesn’t suggest level 2/3 autism. You need to find out the reasons behind it.

Ironside13 · 29/02/2024 08:13

information is coming from the supported carers team leader. There is obviously lots gone on in young girls life which can’t be disclosed.she ended up in care due to family not her fault. Apparently Social services seem to have taken over her life since baby was born.
yes she was told she could keep baby, then things altered once born as I Said 3 days after birth ss apply for joint parental
the SS keep moving the goal post. My friend is so concerned that what she’s seeing is intimidation from the sw

OP posts:
Ironside13 · 29/02/2024 08:18

I understand what you’re saying I’m having information I probably shouldn’t be getting, but my friend is desperate to get help for this girl. I’ve been told she has full capacity goes out on her own and keeps her home lovely. My friend is breaking rules by telling me but she’s not given me her name or anything to identify her.. now she asked for help I’m really want to find a route than can help her..

OP posts:
TheLurpackYears · 29/02/2024 08:21

She's not a young girl, she's an 18 year old woman.

Ironside13 · 29/02/2024 08:25

I know people who do have LD have had support to marry and have children. How do they get support what type of support is this.
i don’t believe this young girl has LD, I’ve seen what the midwife wrote and she was saying she did everything to care for her baby she watched her for 3 weeks in hospital. She put she didn’t have any concerns that the baby would be well loved and cared for. This report doesn’t seem to mean anything. My friend is very concerned about the way the SW talks to the girl she said he’s very intimidating towards her.

OP posts:
Hermittrismegistus · 29/02/2024 08:25

This woman and child have nothing to do with you. You don't know her history, you don't know her. You don't know what the truth is about what has/is going on.

Step away from it.

FusionChefGeoff · 29/02/2024 08:31

Hermittrismegistus · 29/02/2024 08:25

This woman and child have nothing to do with you. You don't know her history, you don't know her. You don't know what the truth is about what has/is going on.

Step away from it.

Nah - our system is shit and it's the squeaky wheels that get heard. She sounds like she needs an advocate so I'd keep helping if I were you. Can you meet with them and get a fuller picture of what's going on and what 'the case' is against her?

Look into the legal situation as mentioned above and help her get more appropriate representation.

Ironside13 · 29/02/2024 08:33

I know the young girl has nothing to do with me, but my FRIEND who is supporting her has asked if I have any ideas where to go as she is concerned. If I can help just a little by finding someone who knows more than me I will try me he’s. What if everyone “Stepped away”
sorry I think that is a bad thing to say. I would hope if my daughter needed support some one would help her.
you have nothing to do with me but if you need help I would try to help you.

im not involved and all I’m asking is does anyone know of a route to follow.

OP posts:
Ironside13 · 29/02/2024 08:50

Thank you I’ll leave it there as comments like “Step away from it” I find offensive. I will help anyone if can, I was only asking if anyone knew any routes to follow..
I will mention to my friend about The Society Children Panel.
recommend Mencap how can probably get her an advocate and maybe a new solicitor and new social worker.

thank you all for your input.

OP posts:
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