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ASD and finding parenting overwhelming

2 replies

TheWitchingHour · 14/05/2023 07:04

I have ASD, so does my 7 yr old along with ADHD, my 15yr old has a learning disability and ASD and my 14yr old has ADHD.

Im really finding parenting tough at the moment, I was late diagnosed, but I find I’m SO triggered by my 7yo, she still wails and cries when things aren’t going her way or she wants something, like really properly wails loudly and I find it incredibly triggering it makes me want to run away and I have asked her to stop crying which I feel guilty about but it’s sometimes too much to cope with. Her sleeping isn’t good so she’s up until 10-11pm most nights and up at 6 which means I don’t get to “shut down” for a bit so I sleep badly as I’m always on edge.
She can’t take no for an answer and this results in meltdowns, I’m pretty certain she has a PDA profile, if she wants a chocolate bar for instance she WILL have it one way or the other and this causes issues for me as she would eat sweets all day everyday if she could and my food bill for snacks is astronomical because she wants to snack ALL day - the constant asking for snacks triggers me too. I’ve tried a daily snack box and this doesn’t work. Her and her older ASD sister are always clashing because of their differing needs which causes physical fights and screaming matches. She trashes the house daily and has no respect for anyone’s space or boundaries, she won’t tidy up after herself or do any small chores, so the chaos of the house overwhelms me too.

All in all I’m just so overwhelmed and stressed out and often have fantasies of running away, I cry everyday because life as a whole is just SO stressful. I’m a single parent with no support at all other than a phone call with my mum daily. I’m having a lot of shutdowns.

I think what I’m asking here is how other ASD mums cope? I’ve asked SS for help but they’re as much use as a chocolate teapot!

OP posts:
TheWitchingHour · 14/05/2023 07:07

Oh and the above didn’t mention her limited eating palate, she will only eat a handful of food in all which doesn’t help

OP posts:
Ijustdontunderstandthis · 30/05/2023 15:03

Hi, @TheWitchingHour

I only just saw this thread and I wanted to say you aren't the only one! I have three children, two with ADHD and one with ASD and I'm on the spectrum as well, their dad is undiagnosed but pretty sure he has ADD. It's a bit of a mad house a lot of the time and this really clashes with my need for order. We just all have such different needs and personalities and I find that I am constantly needed to smooth things over, which really takes a toll on me. I don't know if I have any good advice except perhaps to look into melatonin for your 7-year old. My 12-year-old son who has adhd has never slept properly and it took its toll on me but now he's taking melatonin and it's made a huge difference, he is sleeping so much better and is more balanced overall. Maybe you can speak to your GP about it?

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