Deaf friend's speaking style/tone misinterpreted as aggressive

[immergeradeaus]

Hello, I have a friend who is d/Deaf. Her hearing impairment is profound and she has worn cochlear implants since she was young.

She communicates very clearly in English and relies on lip reading. When she talks, her style of speech is not the same as for people who can hear: there's less variation in tone and she's quite loud. If you didn't know her you might think she was being forceful or aggressive, but she's really not: it's just that her speech has developed like that and she can't pick up on the nuances in tone and volume that hearing people use.

The thing is that she has not been treated brilliantly by professionals she comes into contact with because of the way she talks. She is massively clever and a lovely person, and not at all aggressive or rude: she's just louder than average as she can't calibrate volume like I can. It's not extreme by any measure. But her communications style is misread: people treat her as if she's not very bright and as if she's being difficult.

What I'm looking for is some online guidance or articles about the differences in speech that d/Deaf people have, so she can provide some evidence that she needs adjustment/accommodations. Does anyone know any? I've been Googling all evening but I can't find the right place to look. It's just not fair to have someone lovely treated badly.

Could she sign one or two words at the start of the conversation so they know she's deaf?

She may not sign for a start.

On a personote note unless her implant is hidden by a mane of hair then the people she is coming into contact with aren't the most switched on.

My friend had her implant as an adult and attends a support group based at the hospital. They go to lots of outings as well as serious meetings - maybe that's something to look into?

Are you talking about adjustments in the workplace, or just in situations like going to the doctors, dentist, or similar?

The charity she supports is Hear Together.

An implant does not give you perfect hearing.

Sounds are not the same as those you hear as a hearing person or as a deaf person before the operation.

It takes years to retrain your hearing to recognise these new sounds.

It's very rare for a deaf person's speech to be flawless and this takes years of speech therapy.

Your friend needs to be upfront about her hearing loss - an implant does not make you hearing and you will always be deaf.

People often treat daaf people badly though - it's such a misunderstood disability.

Is this you op?

Is she aware of how her speech comes across and actually want to change it? Surely a speech and language therapist would be what she needs to retrain her speech.

It's not actually me - I'm hearing. It's a friend, who wears (visible) cochlear implants and has very intelligible speech - it's just that it lacks some of the variations in tone and volume that you would expect from a hearing person.

She wouldn't sign to talk to hearing people: I think that'd be odd and it's not her first language: English is. I will have a look at Hear Together

This is really interesting to read this perspective, as a woman I work with comes across as aggressive and loud but the words she is saying don't match it. I have recently just found out she has a hearing impairment. I've not been rude to her or anything at all like that, I had just wondered but this makes a lot of sense

What I'm looking for is some online guidance or articles about the differences in speech that d/Deaf people have, so she can provide some evidence that she needs adjustment/accommodations.

The disabled person doesn't need to provide evidence that they need reasonable adjustments - the disability is the reason and it's not for the disabled person to go out and find the research in order for people to treat her fairly.

Has she asked for adjustments and someone has refused, or is she not sure how to request adjustments?

Does she know what adjustments she wants to request or does she just want to draw their attention to the Equality Act?

I find that briefly stating the disability at the start of an appointment ('I have x so it can be hard for me to y") is often enough to make professionals realise they might need to be a little more patient or understanding, and some then ask if there's anything they could do differently.

Given that she lip reads, it probably makes sense to explain this at the start of each appointment anyway, so the doctor doesn't carry on speaking when they turn to look at their computer, etc. That should be enough for professionals to realise why she's talking the way she is (it seems a bit bizarre that they haven't twigged already, but I guess people are caught up in their own specialisms) but if there are specific adjustments she needs, she can ask, or write them down if easier, or she could request them in advance if that would make her more comfortable.

She can also complain about professionals who have treated her badly or discriminated, which can sometimes help to improve things.

Only ignorant shits use tone of voice to judge people when it can vary so much depending on culture, disabilities, and SEN. Seems like rather than ‘expose’ your friend’s disability her workplace as a whole needs educating that they need to bring 100% of themselves to work & to stop making negative impressions based on spurius things like tone.