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Newly Disabled / Awaiting Amputation / How to live Independently

6 replies

Dearblossom · 03/03/2022 14:09

Posting for my friend. Sit rep - Had a day procedure that went wrong led to infection/coma, and amputation to come. Complaint going through system when timely etc.

Before the above happened she was looking to leave b/f she lives with who takes the Michael out of her (and her bank account) frankly.

She is being sent home tomorrow to await further op.

She had hoped that the illness had maybe made him into ‘Prince Charming’ but no, he is still the toad and she is rather upset and wants to find out what her options could be if she still wants to live solo.

Rents privately with partner. Sick pay at present. No reason she can't return to old job in time. No savings, she did have an escape fund but gave it to him for his new business (that isn't doing very well.)

Would she be able to access any disabled/council housing solo? Residential rehab as a medium ground?

The house she is returning to her w/chair is going to be too big to get out of her room (commode being delivered). She says she feels freer at the hospital than she knows she will at home with him and his mother lurking (who basically lives at the bottom of the garden and is a mean troll).

What about disability benefits, how does that work when you are newly disabled or not quite disabled yet because they haven't finished operations that will make you disabled?

I'm a tad concerned when her b/f and his mum realise what support benefits are available they might make it bit more awkward for her to fly solo so to speak. Money seems to be a real theme, my friend is responsible, they aren't. She's my friend. You can see what I am thinking.

Any thoughts advice at all most welcomed. It's a new world for her to negotiate and I want to make sure she has all the information she needs to move forwards confidently. All tips, links and wise words welcomed, thank you.

OP posts:
Akire · 03/03/2022 14:23

Sick pay even SSP is paid for 26 weeks after that can claim disability benefits. Other before like PIP are often given for set periods say 12m if they expect you to make improvements after medical care. But she can’t claim that until she’s needed help for 6months.

I’m not sure what money the BF may be trying to get? It’s not huge amount and will be lots of expenses and she may be having sue it to Pay for carers. Local councils will asses how much of your benefits they can take back. Mine wanted £550 month for example.

Housing she can apply join the list, she will get points of the current place is unsuitable. May be worth making appointments with housing team at council or see what evidence you need to join the list. Wheelchair accessible homes are not built that often so it’s not like she get one next week if she can manage where she is with support.

Just support her as best as can, offer lifts or copying documents, sit and go through application process.

Dearblossom · 03/03/2022 15:08

Thank you @Akire. There's some great advice there we can start working through as recuperating, time and op allow.

My friend was a tad concerned about carers allowances? She doesn't want to be cared for by b/f and his DM in the home or forced to. Her b/f has been discussing her complaint and compensation monies but won't be aware a lot of that is needed for ongoing care. I want to make sure she is being realistic about what is ahead and best way to use it. (My friend and all above are from Europe not UK so not as familiar with benefits support system/language/process etc.)

OP posts:
Akire · 03/03/2022 15:17

BF will not be able to claim carers until she gets PIP as it’s the qualifying benefit. Technically she needs least 35 hours of care. So it’s long way off yet even if she applied today could take 6months to get assessed and an award.

From what you say I’d be concerned if there will be some level of compensation coming from medical error. I dont know much about but most seem to be giving in form of trust funds. So say she gets given £50,000
Or whatever going rate is for losing a limb then a trust would stop benefit agency taking it as capital and making her live on that. It would be protected for care costs rather than cash to be spent on flash holidays and the like.

Can she speak to hospital Social worker and say she doesn’t want go home
And wants to split up from BF? It would be easier to get support before she leaves. Even if that means she at a rehab place for longer or stays put. If she has doubts over relationship going back as a vulnerable person who’s going need care makes
It so much harder to leave.

Akire · 03/03/2022 15:33

Plus if BF is working and earns over £110 week he not be able claim carers allowance and it’s only £62 a week if he does qualify

Dearblossom · 03/03/2022 15:45

Aha, great, he won't stop work to get it at that rate, nor will his Mum, thank you again for making it all bit clearer.

She won't leave yet, she's not strong enough, emotionally or physically, she has left him once before and remembers well how much happier she was. I suspect she will grit her teeth until compensation does come through and gather her ducks in the meantime so to speak.

I shall look into housing.

Thanks again @Akire

OP posts:
Akire · 03/03/2022 15:57

Hope she does well, I’ll health can make
You really take a look at what is important in your life and what matters. She may find forums for amputees supportive they must exist!

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