How to deal with nasty comments about being unemployed

[Fuzzyhippo]

I was diagnosed with low functioning ASD as a toddler, dropped out of school in year 5 and never got any basic qualifications including gcses. Tried getting maths gcse a few years ago but I don't understand the most basic sums no matter how much I tried going over it in my head. It just didn't work for me. Applied for 20 jobs before Christmas as I fell pregnant (not pregnant anymore) , didn't get a single reply most likely because of my empty CV. I still live at home for goodness sakes. Then today I posted on Facebook saying how my animals are my full time job and I got a horrible comment saying how I have no life and that they thought I'd be the kind of person to be jobless. Usually I'd just walk away and carry on with the rest of my life but it's hit me hard. I have no job qualities, can't do basic stuff like cook some pasta without forgetting it's there. I rely on my family to remind me to do things, and most days I can't even get out of bed or get dressed. I need about 15 hours sleep a night to function, I never wake up before 12 even with early nights. I've always been this way. I also have severe clinical depression, self harm and have had suicidal thoughts since I was about 12, but drs have given up as no matter what they give me it never gets better so I've accepted it's a part of me. I want to work and live like other functioning people but I don't feel I'd cope in a normal working atmosphere. How can I manage with the way I am and will I ever live a normal life? Sorry this was a bit of a rant, I just feel I have no place in this world and that I'm a complete waste of space..

I'm so sorry that you had to deal with such nastiness. From all you wrote I could totally relate to everything as I have been through the same kinds of things. I struggled the whole way through school and have found it extremely hard to work. These people that are making these kinds of comments are coming from a place of total ignorance. For years before knowing I am neurodiverse I beat myself up for not being able to keep down a job or to be able to do certain things, but the reality is that it is not our fault. Sometimes just living day to day is enough and is absolutely exhausting in itself with autism. You are wonderful and worthy exactly as you are and nobody's worth should be determined by whether they have a job or not. Sorry that I couldn't offer more support, but I just wanted to let you know that I totally relate

Stop trying to put yourself into a life that isn't for you. Make the best life for yourself that you can and to hell with idiots that try to make you feel bad about yourself. Look at your social media and only allow people on who are your real friends. If you need that much sleep, then its what you need and what your body and mind needs. Looking after animals is pretty full on sometimes. If you do need some type of job, how about volunteering at an animal shelter?

You write very nicely. You said about maths being difficult but could you do an English course?

Can you do a vocational qualification? There are level 2s (GCSE equivalent but very practical) available in Animal Care. I just did a quick search and there are several available near me, some one day a week for adults, and some of those are still doing that day online.

You’d be a perfect candidate for working in a rescue or self employment in dog walking, dog grooming or pet sitting. Would any of those appeal to you?

I’m sure you could make a life that fits round your needs. Don’t listen to numpties online.

Report the nasty remark and block the poster who made it.

Sorry you haven't had many responses. There's now a neurodiverse mumsnetters board which is busier than here and good for autism specific advice.

Do you go to the job centre for meetings ever? If you do claim universal credit, you could ask to meet with a disability employment advisor to discuss options. They have things like neuro diverse support programmes.

No I don't claim anything, but as I'm now pregnant I'm trying to see what I'm entitled to. But my mental health is worse than ever and not sure I could deal with the job centre meetings as my mum works 6 days a week and still has to attend weekly

Seems odd that your Mum works so much yet still has appointments weekly. You may want to make a claim and get a fit note. There will be some appointments but only until 11 weeks before your due date.

Sometimes I think you have to find something that suits you rather than trying to do the conventional job thing. Maybe look at something you could do voluntarily for a couple of hours a day - at an animal shelter or charity if this is what you love. At least then you'll have something to go on a CV. Alternatively, what about dog walking? It's not too stressful and up to a point you can choose your hours. Don't write yourself off. I'm sure you have more positive qualities than you give yourself credit for