Autistic burnout help

[scamperymouse]

I wonder if any kind mumsnetters can help?
My DH is diagnosed with autism and ADD. He’s been off work burnt out for a few months now, provoked by a very stressful work project. We think he’s got autistic burnout. He’s not sad or low, he’s just exhausted, meaning he can do very few tasks in a day before needing to rest. Obviously this is very tough for both of us. And we’ve no idea what the road ahead looks like. He’s having therapy from someone who specialises in clients with autism. This is helping him process things. But I’d like to know if you have any experience or advice when it comes to autistic burnout? I guess it’s going to be a very long haul. I’ve gone through what the NAS has to say about autistic fatigue a done some research already. But it would be interesting to hear your experiences.
Thanks in advance!

It's hard to know how long it will last for to be honest. For me it is usually a few weeks but it's been months before as well.
I have no special tricks to make it better, it takes as long as it takes. I have to sleep a lot and make sure I don't have to mask very much because that makes the recovery take far longer.

@ofwarren

It's hard to know how long it will last for to be honest. For me it is usually a few weeks but it's been months before as well. I have no special tricks to make it better, it takes as long as it takes. I have to sleep a lot and make sure I don't have to mask very much because that makes the recovery take far longer.

Thanks for sharing what it’s like for you.

You make a good point about not masking while recovering unless you want to be burnt out for longer. This is something he’s realising at the moment so it’s handy to hear it from you too :)

Just bumping this for you ☺️

Mine took about a year before I was back to "normal." On the plus side, I am now much more aware of where my limits are, and much happier now I have firmer boundaries around work.

Thanks :)

Sorry that was in reply to @ofwarren.

@KarmaViolet

Mine took about a year before I was back to "normal." On the plus side, I am now much more aware of where my limits are, and much happier now I have firmer boundaries around work.

Ok that’s interesting. A year is a useful bit of info. Would you mind sharing a bit about how your approach to work has changed after your burnout, @KarmaViolet? Work is a major issue for my DH but we’re struggling to know quite what to try and do about it.

I was working ridiculous hours, in conditions that were a sensory nightmare, with colleagues I didn't understand and couldn't really connect with. I was brilliant at the technical part of what I did but the whole package was unworkable. Every time it went wrong, I promised myself that THIS time I would be better, work harder, smile more, be more organised, make friends, and it ended in burnout.

I moved into self-employment into more of a consultancy role. I had 3-4 months where I didn't work at all and felt pretty horrendous in honesty, then it took another month or so for work to start coming in, and that built my confidence up as the work gradually increased and I was up to full time by the end of 12 months. I still probably work too much but I am now able to say no to work, or give myself more time to get things done, without the guilt / self-loathing / anxiety / perfectionism kicking my arse.

@KarmaViolet

I was working ridiculous hours, in conditions that were a sensory nightmare, with colleagues I didn't understand and couldn't really connect with. I was brilliant at the technical part of what I did but the whole package was unworkable. Every time it went wrong, I promised myself that THIS time I would be better, work harder, smile more, be more organised, make friends, and it ended in burnout.

I moved into self-employment into more of a consultancy role. I had 3-4 months where I didn't work at all and felt pretty horrendous in honesty, then it took another month or so for work to start coming in, and that built my confidence up as the work gradually increased and I was up to full time by the end of 12 months. I still probably work too much but I am now able to say no to work, or give myself more time to get things done, without the guilt / self-loathing / anxiety / perfectionism kicking my arse.

That’s very interesting, thank you. Self-employment gives you much more control of things. I will take all that info away and think about it with DH. I’m pleased you’ve got a better sense of balance now :)

I'm currently off work with the same and in the 4th month. Some of mine has been caused by bullying by a specific personwhich is being investigated. I'm taking each day as it comes and trying to do things I enjoy and it's helping.

@Mabelface

I'm currently off work with the same and in the 4th month. Some of mine has been caused by bullying by a specific personwhich is being investigated. I'm taking each day as it comes and trying to do things I enjoy and it's helping.

I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with bullying. I hope the investigation is useful. Taking things day by day seems to be a good way to go. It’s also what we’re doing for the moment.

This person has been doing it for years. She made a mistake in bullying someone with a protected characteristic, ie me, and I've lots of evidence, fortunately. Just waiting for the outcome of the investigation

@Mabelface

This person has been doing it for years. She made a mistake in bullying someone with a protected characteristic, ie me, and I've lots of evidence, fortunately. Just waiting for the outcome of the investigation

Fingers crossed.