Autistic/ADHD and food/weight

[MarthaMim]

I was recently diagnosed with autism and ADHD in my late 40s. Totally expected it, and am fine with it etc. However, I’m slowly realising that my weight/food issues are probably quite bound up with my atypical neurology. I’m very overweight. Very. I realise that I’m sensory seeking with regard to food, and also it helps with self-regulation. Self-knowledge is great and all that, but I want to use that self-knowledge to tackle the issue. But how? My weight is a significant health issue especially as I get older, and I want to address my food issues. Any suggestions? Try to find something else that provides similar self-regulation? Specialist counselling? Any thoughts?

I found Noom quite good for this. I don't have the same issues, but Noom seems much more clued up on the psychology than other diet apps. My daughter has ADHD and she is like a little hummingbird zooming from one sugar source to the next. She's not overweight as she's also hyperactive and it's a struggle to get her to eat protein. So I can see we're going to have to be careful with her.

Thanks @Phineyj I'll investigate Noom. I looked at it once before but was put off by the cost- but if it helped it would be worth it!

Have a look at interoception as an issue

There are things that you can do to build interoceptive awareness, although inevitably it is easier to learn them when you're a child than as an adult!

Thanks @KarmaViolet that's a great video. I was thinking about interoception but I didn't realise you could build interoception awareness. Can you recommend any good resources for that?

A lot of it is aimed at children but Kelly Mahler is the expert www.kelly-mahler.com/resources/blog/daily-activities-that-can-help-develop-self-regulation/

Yoga is really good for interoception. I'm trying to remember to do it more regularly because it does genuinely help. www.yogauonline.com/yoga-anatomy/proprioception-and-interoception-how-yoga-practice-supports-these-essential-skills

Kelly Mahler also sells interoception yoga cards which I think you can get on amazon!

Noom you can bargain with - their prices don't seem to be fixed!

@KarmaViolet brilliant, thank you!!!

@Phineyj I had no idea that was the case- thanks for the info!

Hi, I'm just bumping my thread in case anyone has personal experience of this and can share thoughts?

Im thinking i am the same however not diagnosed yet, definitely adhd but not 100% i will have asd diagnosis, i feel my food issues are wrapped up in my need for repeated routines that make me feel comfortable. But also sensory as really struggle to drink and always become dehydrated. I think food opposite problem because i overcompensate possibly, im trying to find reasons. But thank u for thread ill watch video

This is a really helpful video on binge eating and adhd

Hi @MarthaMim, I am autistic, diagnosed aged 40. I’m now 43. My weight has been up and down most of my life. It is quite common for autistics to either use food as a sensory seeking tool, or to be the exact opposite (eg not interested at all, or to have aversions to certain tastes, textures etc).
I have a lot of food aversions due to texture, but those foods I do like (particularly ‘junk’ foods) I use in a sensory seeking way. I have slowly lost over 3 stone to get back to a healthy weight, since the first lockdown.
I think the things that have helped me have been being good at cooking so was able to enjoy the healthier foods I cooked, slowly reducing the less healthy foods, but still allowing them. Nothing is banned as that would cause me distress and my mind would become obsessed with those foods. But for me, the biggest difference has come from really focusing on my mental health and embracing my autism. The sensory seeking behaviour is always more heightened when I am stressed or struggling with sensory overload. So this is what I did:

• simplified my life as much as possible, particularly social situations which caused me to get anxious/ have a meltdown. Lockdown helped enormously as I work from home and we weren’t allowed to go many places or see anyone. This had a massive effect on my mental health as I am quite a recluse (apart from my husband and sister). I only really feel completely relaxed away from other people.
• saw a counsellor to work through my feelings of inadequacy which resulted from an abusive past, never being accepted for who I was and shame I felt for being different/ not being able to do many of the things other people can. Acceptance of myself helped me feel more content in general and I don’t tend to turn to food as much when I am content.
• getting outside: I absolutely love nature and animals and have turned to countryside walks, bird watching etc to give me a sensory ‘high’. It makes me feel full of joy. Maybe you have a hobby or something that would have the same effect for you?
• stimming more. As a child I was always punished if I behaved differently to others which led me to being withdrawn and avoiding any unusual behaviour. However, stimming is essential to many autistics mental health. It is what calms us and regulates our emotions when distressed. It is also our natural form of self expression when we are happy. Many autistics, particularly girls, learn not to do it so they ‘fit in’ better. So I made a conscious effort not to restrict myself when I felt the urge to wave my hands in a certain way, or tap my fingers, or wiggle my toes. These things relieve stress and when I am happy I sometimes spin or twirl or clap my hands. This is sensory seeking behaviour for me and when I get my sensory needs met elsewhere it is easier for me to resist unhealthy foods
• I have the same healthy breakfasts/ lunches/ snacks most days. This means I am not using brain power to think of different options and also provides an important routine to my day. I have a choice of 2-3 snacks, lunches and breakfasts (dinners are much more varied). I will usually have the same breakfast and lunch every single day for several months at a time and then change to one of my other options when I feel like it. If I stop to ask myself ‘what do I want to eat’ I struggle to know and often pick the most unhealthy choice as it is familiar to me and doesn’t require any thought. So I take all decision making out of it.

I hope that’s of some help

Omg I’m so sorry that was so long! One of my faults is I tend to go on a bit! 😬

Thanks @Newrunner29 I'll watch that video!

Thanks, that is so incredibly helpful @EssexLioness. It’s not too long at all – in fact it’s very generous of you to share this amount of your personal experience. A lot of this makes sense to me and I’m really encouraged to hear that it’s worked for you. Especially your last point about not having to think too much about what to eat – I find planning hard but equally when I’ve planned healthy meals etc and don’t have to think about it it does really help. Lots of stuff to think about - thank you!

Yup im seeking diagnosis but just get bigger.

I struggle with executive function and palmning and making meals. I want instant which leads to less healthy food. Then j try a plan and fail and go round in circles.

I recognise that cycle @WoodenReindeer !

@MarthaMim I’m glad it was of some help. I find planning meals hard too, as I can never think of meal ideas. However, I also deal much better if I have planned in advance because it takes the thinking out of things.
The only thing I need to plan is dinner, so that is much easier. This may sound weird to non-autistics, but I have long list of common meal ideas and meal plan once a week from there. I have a category for each day eg Monday: stew/ soup, tuesdays: potato dish, Wednesday: pasta. Then when meal planning I just choose a meal from each section of my list. I also have a separate meal list called contingency meals. These are for days when I am unwell, or emotionally burnt out. On those days I have zero executive function and am incapable of deciding what I want to eat or making anything too complicated. The contingency meals all consist of minimal/ no cooking and are generally stodgy comfort foods, which aren’t terribly unhealthy but not ideal. This level of planning would prob sound a bit bonkers to some people but it keeps me on track and means I don’t just reach for a takeaway when exhausted

I love the idea of 'contingency meals' @EssexLioness ! I'm definitely adopting that 😊

@MarthaMim they are a lifesaver on the few occasions we need them

Hi @MarthaMim and everyone I came on here the other day to ask about this and found your thread so I thought I would add to it. I have suspected I am ND for a long time now as I have a sibling who was diagnosed with Autism. I do have some traits myself like some social difficulties and sensitivity to textures but I also have a lot of adhd traits like forgetfulness and some problems with motivation. I don't intend to look for a diagnosis at the moment but I have started to wonder if this neurodiversity is something that might be involved in my weight issues. I was reading on another thread that Weight issues are very common in ND people and that made a lot of sense to me.
I found the video above about ADHD and binge eating very interesting. I don't really binge eat but the principles are also applicable to other types of over eating. Unfortunately her course is too expensive but I watched some more videos from the Binge eating therapist (the other lady on the video) and read her book which was quite helpful. I'm really interested by the idea of intuitive eating as I relate to the restricting and then overeating cycle, even though I don't tend to binge. Intuitive eating is really about healing your relationship with food and eating better but not necessarily losing weight. My problem with that is that I am about 6 stone overweight and I feel like it is giving me quite a lot of health issues, I have a very bad back and I'm sure being lighter would help me. On the other hand trying to diet has led me to overeat and gain back more weight on many occasions so perhaps I need to try a new path.

Seems my side of autism and food is very different. I struggle to eat set meals or go out for food. I can go for days and only eat one sandwich because textures,smells,not feeling hungry,feeling watched while eating etc all play a part. When I do try to eat better anxiety then doubles and I can end up being really ill..Anyway that's just a small part of my world

@EssexLioness your posts are so helpful!! Please don’t apologise for going on, love all the detail.

Can relate to you all, I sensory seek I think particularly when stressed, I can’t really tell when I’m hungry either, so I overeat. It’s been a disaster since lockdown no 1… yes it was a relief to have less socialisation, but threw me out of all my routines and into a confined space with ND dc and suspected ND husband!! Just hated the whole thing, so stressful and no quiet time, so I’ve put on 3-4 stone.

Does anyone have any book recommendations, apps or just what kind of can compensate for the food as alternative?

I‘m also autistic with ADHD and food issues. I don’t eat vegetables or fruit apart from a few, and fixate on one particular food and eat it until I can’t stand it anymore. That mostly happens with carbs, which is dopamine seeming, right now it’s porridge which is playing havoc with my BG control as I’m also diabetic. I also recognise the executive function/instant gratification thing and deal with that by batch cooking 6 portions of 5 set meals every month so I don’t order in junk food instead.

I have suspected ADHD, awaiting confirmation (with 2 picky ND children)

I am also overweight and have a poor relationship with food.
I binge, I have no control at all once my brain has decided it’s going to eat something, I have no off switch and can just carry on eating long after I should be full. I can hyperfocus on a diet plan with lists of healthy meal ideas, tables and highlighted stuff and Pinterest boards but within hours I’ve completely forgotten that I’m supposed to be on a diet! I definitely seek dopamine hits from food. Be it a mini roll or a scoop of leftovers, whatever I can get my hands on. It’s constant and I can’t control it, it’s like an out of body experience and I ‘wake up’ when I’ve done it.

It could be a lot worse but it certainly doesn’t help my jeans fit 🙄

meal planning is huge for me and like pp I have very detailed plans that are tailored to what day it is, what after school activities/ work shifts etc are happening, the weather etc. I do this weekly the night before the big shop and make my shopping list accordingly. Without these I am lost. Completely overwhelmed, feel out of control and my whole week goes to pot. Dp doesn’t understand and says ‘we’ll just wing it for Wednesday’ but I can’t wing it, I need to know what I need to cook!

I’ve just realised that when I go out for a meal I look at the menu online beforehand and pick what I want, I can’t take the pressure of ordering on the spot!

I don’t know if this is helpful, just know that you’re not alone x