If you are a parent with executive function issues, how do you manage it to minimise the impact on your DC?

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(Before I start, I should say I've had no formal diagnosis but I'd bet my house on me having ADHD).

I find getting DD to school on time with the correct stuff for each day (it changes SO often) a bit of a challenge but on the whole I'm managing it but find it draining. Quite often we'll be told something at the gate on pick up which I need to remember for the next day. If another parent then chats to me in the yard that bit of information flies out of my head.

This morning DD had an appointment for a blood test. Yesterday I went to the pharmacy to collect a prescription for numbing cream. The pharmacist told me I needed to put cling film over the cream. We didn't already have cling film at home so I headed to the supermarket and came out with a few bits and pieces, but no cling film, which I didn't realise until DD was in bed last night so couldn't get it. So I fashioned a plastic wrap this morning by cutting up a freezer bag, got the cream on DD's arm at the right time, got to the appointment on time. The nurse couldn't get any blood out of DD's arm as I'd forgotten to make sure she'd drunk plenty. I'd read that I needed to do that and I know from my own experience but I completely forgot. So I've put my 4 year old through having a blood test that didn't yield any blood. Thoroughly crap.

I'd like to know if people in the know think this sounds like I'm struggling due to executive function challenges and, if I am, what can I put in place to cope with information and remember and action it?

I've wondered about always carrying a notebook with me and writing everything down but I know this will come across as strange!

I've been affected by what I think is ADHD since being a child but muddled through. I did try to get a referral for diagnosis as it has a huge impact on my work due to focus issues and life in general due to losing things and not managing to remember, finding big social situations draining etc., but my GP referred me to community mental health instead but I'm wondering if I need to persist to get help as it's not just me this is affecting now.

For me the key is writing stuff down immediately. And doing it electronically on my phone so it’s always with me,

I have an online calendar, a to do list on my phone (I use the Notes app, nothing fancy) and I do online food shopping and always have a basket on the go.

If I get told about DC needing some kit on a particular day I put it in the online calendar immediately. If it’s something I’m going to need to buy/put together it goes on the to do list as well. Have to do this immediately or I will forget. No chatting or anything else until it’s gone on the list.

If I notice we are getting low on something in the kitchen, I put it into the online shopping immediately.

If I lose or forget my phone I’m screwed…

Coffee also helps!

I write stuff on my hand for shopping. Just don't wash it off before you go in. If I do it earlier I write on my arm as well as I wash that less often.

I haven’t managed it without impacting my DC. Particularly when they were small. Very hard. Lots of forgotten things. Still struggle now but they’re good at remembering for themselves.

Awaiting ADD appointment OP and I struggle massively with exactly what you have described. I feel absolutely useless sometimes and wonder if I should be in charge of anything!!

Like others have said I just simply have to write EVERYTHING down, everything. If I don't, that thing will be long gone into the big black void of nothingness! Sometimes that doesn't help either! I also use my phone alarms to remind me to do things too.

I have dyspraxia and this is something I struggle with. I write everything down in my diary, even the basic stuff that most people just do without thinking. I still forget stuff though.

I would cut yourself some slack OP. It sounds like you're coping really well.

I always struggle with blood tests. Even when I drink a lot, my veins collapse and nothing comes out. My worst one was a fasting blood test where I remembered to to fast from the appropriate time the night before, got in a panic on the morning itself, rang my mum in a panic and she suggested I eat something to calm down. So I did and didn't realise my mistake until I got to the surgery.

Stuff that we don't do very often isn't so easy to prepare for. However hard we try, we can't remember everything. I would chalk this one up to experience and for future blood tests you're probably both more likely to remember to drink plenty now.

I could have written this post, and I feel so guilty about the impact on DC. I forget (or don’t process) things all the time and also regularly just do stuff that makes me look like a idiot, for example I never remember (or think) to pick up a shopping basket so I end up trying to carry it all and dropping things… this feeds into my negative image of myself as flaky, and I berate myself about it a lot.
GP basically told me there was no point asking to be diagnosed as there was no one to do it and even if I did get a diagnosis there would be no help at the end of it I am a mature student so I asked uni instead and they have assessed me and said they think I will get a diagnosis. Just waiting for the official appt. so if there is any way you can get an assessment through work or studies, I would recommend that route over NHS.