Husband constantly blaming 'Adhd'

[minisoksmakehardwork]

My adhd to be specific. I recently got diagnosed as an adult, after knowing something was up my whole life. However, DH is now blaming my adhd for every fuck up he thinks I'm making.

It's like now we know I have adhd, it can be used to absolve him of parental responsibilities.

Kids clothes don't get washed - must be my adhd distracting me.

House needs cleaning - I've been procrastinating due to my adhd.

I'm late back from work so kids tea is late ... you get the picture.

So clearly he needs to step up and be an active parent anyway, but how do I stop him from blaming something I can't help in order to absolve himself of responsibility.

I’m confused because surely those things are your ADHD? They’re definitely my ADHD!!

Oh they are. But now I have an official diagnosis, he's telling me every time that's what it is. Like a) I don't already know and b) things were different 'before diagnosis' - they weren't.

Pre diagnosis he was a lot more helpful around the house. Now things sit and wait until I notice them enough to be done.

Tell him if things are that bad he needs to step up and be your carer

Seriously though, that would drive me mad. I have suspected ADHD and have avoided a diagnosis for this exact reason. Once I get a 'label' it'll be applied by everyone close to me to my every action or more likely, inaction

It's been helpful at work, now I've gone back. They're understanding of my need for a little more time sometimes, and that I don't always mean to come across as rude but sometimes engage mouth before brain and can be quite blunt.

It also probably doesn't help that now it throws his own 'issues' into the light