Does this sound like adult ADHD?

[FishfingerFlinger]

Does this sound like it could be ADHD? Frankly I confuse myself about how contradictory I feel I am.

-High achieving throughout school, no ADHD traits picked up except tendency to daydream /zone out, but a straight A student who loved school and learning.
-under-performed at university, chronic procrastination over assignments and found it hard to self-motivate.
-decent career, generally well regarded at work, but have underperformed relative to potential
-managers can be confused how i perform well in many areas but weak in other seemingly basic things like following through on a simple commitment. Often need to be chased/reminded about things.

-very organised and sharp-thinking in some scenarios - a crisis at work or planning a large dinner party is no problem.
-Procrastinate over certain tasks (eg finances) until they reach critical urgency, despite best intentions

-brain often feels like it is in a daydreamy haze or bursting with so many thoughts that it’s hard to focus on one thing.
-Often flit from one thing to another leaving tasks unfinished (eg leave milk out after making tea, forget to hit send on an email I have drafted)
-have great ideas that I get started but fail to follow through to completion.

-really good on the detail when I’m focused, can pick up errors in other people’s work etc, -can produce complex analysis with high levels of accuracy, write brilliantly, develop complex systems etc.

-generally punctual and hate being late
-am the organised one at home when it comes to sorting out the kids lives, menu planning, packing for holidays etc
-practical phobic of financial admin (despite being very capable of doing it)
-untidy and often put things down and can’t find them again

-quite shy/introverted, often quiet in social situations and feel socially awkward
-fast talker, once I get started on a topic I can be very animated
-tendency to zone out mid conversation.
-bad at maintaining long-term friendships, forget birthdays etc

-start a lot of hobbies with great enthusiasm but drop them and start new ones
-read the start of a lot of books but don’t finish them
-but sometimes very committed (eg followed a daily schedule for running a marathon for months without missing a single day)

You sound exactly like me and I have just been diagnosed. I would try to see someon.

Thanks for reading all that, it was much longer than I planned it do be!

The more I read of ADHD the more I feel it ‘makes sense of me’ but there’s various things which don’t tick all the boxes, like I’m not habitually late, I don’t have difficulty following instructions, I am very organised and methodical in some areas of my life.

Yes. It's like anything, nobody will tick every single box. Often you find the things that you're good at are because of some kind of coping mechanism you've drawn up without consciously realising you have anything wrong, just because those were problems you needed to solve. Or something like the Marathon can be motivating in itself outside of the systems that are affected by adhd and therefore not affected by it.

I agree I would pursue assessment.

They think that adhd is caused by too-fast reuptake or low production of certain neurotransmitters, dopamine and noradrenaline (aka norepinephrine in North America)

So the reason people can focus on things like video games or your marathon training or some interest that you have is because activities like this produce a lot of dopamine in themselves which kind of fills in the gaps.

And we tend to be brilliant in a crisis or when something is urgent because in that scenario you make adrenaline, which can be used by the body in the same way as noradrenaline. It's just that adrenaline is a hormone and not a neurotransmitter and it's intended for short term use. It will cause other problems in your body if you rely on adrenaline too much.

Thanks that’s a really useful description!

I’ve been reading quite a bit about it and I’m alternating between thinking I am dead certain I have ADHD and between thinking I’m just making excuses for myself.

I do think I’m going to try exploring diagnosis though.

Jumping on to say that you also sound extremely similar to me and I too have been recently diagnosed.

I'm no expert on the nuances of ADHD but I have read about 'hyper focus', ie intense fixation on an interest or activity for an extended period of time. This had thrown me off too when I was considering seeking a diagnosis as I had thought 'but I concentrate well on X, Y, Z so I can't have it and I've stuck to such and such a hobby'.

Interesting to read what a PP wrote about the crisis situations, and it makes a lot of sense to me, thanks. I'm also good in crisis situations in work and as this is usually part of my job is perhaps why I don't underperform in that regard. However in respect of anything operational or relating to things like rotas etc, it's like my brain says 'nah'. I'm also good at getting the important stuff done quickly and with urgency and I think it's very much a case of 'now, right now, or not at all'.

Sympathy OP. I am recently diagnosed. Until I started freelance writing, I’d never had a job for more than a year. Working for myself is the best thing I have ever done. If I wasn’t doing this, I would look for a job outside or do lots of temp work for variety.

Posted too soon…I just wanted to say that contrary to others on here I take both sertraline and concerta (prescribed in Dubai where I live) and the combination works well for me. There is a great FB group - Adult ADHD support UK which I have leant on a fair but. Good luck

Best book I've read that made sense of my contradictory ADHD experiences is 'Driven to Distraction', you might want to check it out if not done do already.

OP I could have written every single thing you have.
I don’t have a diagnosis, but DS is going through assessment at the moment and DH is pretty sure he has ADHD (did as a child undiagnosed).
If I do have it, I think it has been under the radar because I’ve developed enough coping mechanisms to get along (apart from in my degree, where I was pretty shit). I have a chronic tendency to be late for stuff (back to me and my Dad being like this when I was a kid), so now I have to overly plan departure time and strategy to make sure I’m not late. Pretty sure friends think I am a terrible flake.
Part of me would like to know if it is me too (not just DS and DH) because it would explain an awful lot - especially my crippling fear of failure at work, and my inability to deliver what I know I should be capable of.
But not sure if that is worth the cost and effort of getting assessed… I don’t think I’d go on medication, so I don’t see what else I’d get for it (except validation).

OP, this sounds just like me. Ironically, other people see me as very organized and capable. But I know it is because I have developed an array of coping strategies so that I can do what needs to be done at work and home. Considering pursuing a diagnosis. DP suspects he may have this too and I think he could be right.

Sounds like I could have written your post, even down to the friendships!
I’ve been diagnosed this year and medication makes a real difference.

How did you all get diagnosed? Noone can remember ADD traits in me as a child even though I tick boxes now. At late 50s I've lost touch with most primary friends and children don't seem to notice that sort of thing anyhow. Feel like I've wasted a ton of money as no evidence of it in childhood but masses in adulthood(went privately).

You sound like me - although I am good at friendships.
Difficult to know where the spectrum begins / ends

@AreYouReally
I shared lots of resources with my parents about how ADHD presents very differently in girls, and they were able to see that I had shown many of those traits. My psychiatrist used the questionnaires and a diagnostic structured interview. My DH’s questionnaire was entirely discounted as he was clearly being an obstructive twat (could be a whole new thread).

Isn't everyone like this though? Surely no one is "good" at all areas of life? I'm well organised in many areas but hopeless/won't even attempt others. To be honest I thought that was normal!

A lot of your post rings true, although I've maintained plenty of friendships and don't tend to have any hobbies other than exercising which I've always done. When I started university I was hopeless at knowing when I needed to sign myself up to modules, seminars etc, but I took that as just me having been spoon-fed at school. But thinking back my housemates seemed more together than me!

[quote parrotonmyshoulder]@AreYouReally
I shared lots of resources with my parents about how ADHD presents very differently in girls, and they were able to see that I had shown many of those traits. My psychiatrist used the questionnaires and a diagnostic structured interview. My DH’s questionnaire was entirely discounted as he was clearly being an obstructive twat (could be a whole new thread).[/quote]
That's a good idea, but my mum's in her 90s so I'd feel I was leading her to say what I suspect. Brother another twat can't remember but would use against me anyhow. Who did you use?