Just finished autism assessment - panicking

[Percie]

I had my autism assessment today - 3 hours as we did both parts together - and now I'm panicking that I missed examples/gave the wrong examples/ answered the question I thought was being asked rather than the actual question. Should I email them?

Until now I've been veering between needing to know one way or the other and feeling like I'm wasting everyone's time. Now it's happened I just feel like a fool and so ashamed of my poor behaviour that I've had to recount.

Did anyone else feel like this? What did you do?

Feedback is next week which feels like an eternity away.

answering the question you thought was being asked is a good example of autism, so panic not... (i think I did the same)

I called it schrodingers autism. no-one would know until you opened the box.

yes it has taken a coupl eof months to forget about all the difficult stuff I had to talk about to get an assessment and remember and lay bare in front of the assessor. it was awful.

what did I do... lots of flapping and stimming.

Thank you @BlackeyedSusan I kept worrying and remembering all night I'm exhausted this morning.

I know what you mean about opening the box - I definitely got stressed out by a lot of the discussion and cried a few times, largely through frustration and embarrassment.

I don't really flap and I've gradually learned to hide my stims - plus it was all online which was better because I know we can't make eye contact and I can hide my hands and feet.

I just keep thinking 'what it it isn't that?' Maybe I'm just a rude social failure and he's going to spend the next week trying to find a polite way of saying that?

Ugh, sorry, I haven't told anyone in the real world about this so I'm stressing out here and making some very poor food choices to compensate

ah yes, fat and sugar, in large quantities... been there done that...

I remember with mine (few years ago), I felt the need to mask to start by with, after about an hour I couldn’t manage it any more! I think it’s natural to worry about your answers and how it comes across but I think if you are on the spectrum, they’re likely to pick up on it.

Thank you both. By the end of 3 hours I was definitely not composed in my answers. I've actually avoided reading up on autism, except for what's necessary for my DC, because it felt like cheating in some way. I wish life was far less awkward.

Fat and sugar, basically my staple diet 😬

I'm awaiting assessment and your OP is so familiar for much of my life with worrying if I actually answered the question and worrying all night about what I said/should have said/how I came across. The wait must seem a long time but next week will soon be here

Oh, see! It's already next week as you last posted on Friday. Typical of me not to pay attention, sorry. Have you heard back yet? How are you feeling?

Add it to your list adultasd...

As in the list as long as your arm to take to the appointment

Thanks for asking @adultasd I got the diagnosis yesterday (Aspergers) and it all feels a bit numb at the moment.

The consultant was great though, spent nearly 2 hours talking through it all, letting me ask about different incidents and explore what this means. I haven't even begun to process it yet but they said there's a follow up in a few weeks so I can organise my thoughts and questions.

I do feel more hopeful than I have in a while as they were able to tell me about some specialist support for one thing that's really been bothering me. I'm currently fighting the impulses to eat more junk and spend everything that's left in my account ahead of payday as an immediate control thing.

I'm also trying to decide what to tell work - but the discussion helped me identify how I think which has been a huge revelation and I'm not feeling quite so awful about all those horrible incidents that I recounted last week.

Definitely write it all down Adultasd, all the little things, all the incidents that still bother you from childhood, it's worth it to have an answer to the question

Oh wow, your head must be in a spin with all sorts of emotions snd questions (I hate the way people thing ASD and empathy are mutually exclusive) and I hope things settle down for you soon as you process everything. It's a lot to take in I imagine. It's interesting what you say about childhood things that still bother you. I often wonder why I still feel burning shame or confusion or upset or all three about things that happened decades ago. Your consultant sounds really good and I hope you can get the support you need