I think I have Asperger's

[WildOrchids67]

The title says it all, really. I've wondered about this for the last two or three years and the more I read, the more I feel I tick enough boxes. I've been doing some research about getting assessed, and I've found a lady who has lots of great recommendations on her website, so I sent her an email and she's sent me a questionnaire.

A lot of the questions are about my early babyhood, milestones etc, which of course I can't answer, so I would need to ask my mum, but I'm not sure she'd take me very seriously, I'm not sure that she really holds with autism, ADHD etc. My dad wouldn't know the answers to the questions. I don't have any older siblings and the extended family weren't local, so wouldn't really know either.

My other concern is that some of the answers might rule out any further assessment. As far as I know I hit milestones as normal, I was maybe a bit ahead in terms of reading and speaking though. There are other things though that would fit, such as me usually playing by myself and not really having many friends.

I think I'm just a bit worried that me developing normally (AFAIK) might end up with the specialist believing there's no further investigation to be done and that I'm just a bit weird.

Has anyone else gone through the assessment process as an adult and had the same concerns? What happened in the end?

Thanks

The reason why I would like a diagnosis is that I have always blamed myself and gotten angry with myself that I couldn’t be like everyone else. I used to think it was because I was a bad person and that people didn’t want anything to do with me. Even now without a formal diagnosis, I am becoming so much less critical of myself. I was comparing myself to people who don’t have the huge additional stress of masking and trying to fit in. All the stuff that I rehearse in my mind over and over before I have just a casual conversation with someone actually comes naturally to others. Others are energised by socialising whereas I get so drained that I need to rest. Others can go out with friends in the evening and then go to work the next day whereas I need a whole day on my own really to recover after socialising. By getting a diagnosis I will have an answer for so much stuff. I also might use it to get minor adjustments at work to make my life a bit easier. When I worked in an office, I once asked if I could work from home one morning (I was a lawyer and needed to draft a witness statement) as I couldn’t focus in the open-plan office. My boss refused and called me lazy and incompetent for not being able to cope in the office. I don’t work in that sort of environment anymore but I’d like to stop anything like that ever happening again.

I was diagnosed by Sarah Hendrix. She was excellent and said that despite my years of masking and camouflage, I was very typical of female autism. The relief I felt was huge.