ASD, neurodiversity, Midlife, Menopause, HRT anyone else?

[Primitivo1]

Hi everyone, I have namechanged recently but have been here for years. I have a pre-diagnosis of ASD with PDA (and probably won't go for full diagnosis at present). I also have three children, one diagnosed with ASD/PDA and the youngest, showing many traits too, we are all so similar. I know it's a familiar story but I am still surprised that it took me so long to realise exactly what was going on with me (multiple, struggles and 'failures' in so many areas of my life despite stellar academics etc.).

My mental health and ability to function has been getting worse and worse over the last few years since my last child was born (I couldn't work any more, chronic stress leading to other chronic illness etc.). I had PND and psychosis after the birth (didn't with the first two) in my early 40's so knew already I was very sensitive to hormonal change but hadn't really through that through in terms of the menopause etc.

However, I trialled HRT a few months ago and it has completely turned my life around (this is no exaggeration and I had had a number of failed trials of anti-depressants prior to this).

I just wondered if anyone else may have the experience that the combination of unstable hormones and ASD was a car crash!

There is so little research on older women with ASD and their experiences, although there is this paper: ‘When my autism broke’: A qualitative study spotlighting autistic voices on menopause

journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1362361319901184

I also thought it might be helpful to anyone who was experiencing this. I really wish now I had started the HRT (body-identical through the NHS) around 5 years ago.

I would love to hear of anyone else's thoughts/experiences?

For me it was almost the opposite. I had my last period about 3 years ago, and it was such a relief. I think I've probably had a fairly easy menopause compared to some, but I just hated periods and found them so hard to cope with. I also quite enjoy the invisibility of being middle aged, and not having to do so much masking because of that.

So, not really a similar experience at all, but I do think it's very interesting to read about how autistic women experience different life stages. Almost all literature aimed at women - whether it's on menopause, sex, pregnancy, birth, etc, assumes that everyone's NT, which can be very alienating for those of us who aren't. I had no idea I was autistic until quite recently, but I always felt a bit of a failure at all of those things to do with being a woman.

That's interesting (and so glad to hear that you experienced it more successfully than me!). I was doing a lot of masking (still am...) but at least am aware I am doing it (and then choosing when to do it or not... and factor in the toll it takes to recover from it). For me the menopausal symptoms seemed to be exaggerating my 'autistic' behaviours/thoughts etc.