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I think I may be autistic?

5 replies

Langloo · 29/01/2021 08:33

I work with children who have a range of special needs and it's only since learning about the way autism affects girls that I'm now considering the possibility that I've been concealing my own problems.

As a child, I felt different. I was extremely creative, very articulate, I loved writing and was good at it. I couldn't wrap my head around maths at all.

I was constantly falling out with my friends and getting easily upset, I would always blurt out exactly what I was thinking and had the tendency to offend people.
Both children and adults alike.

I was very good-looking in my teens and had older boyfriends, loved having sex and being affectionate. Still do.

My Dad was clearly undiagnosed autistic and was a very angry man. He had strange habits and routines and would blow up if anyone threatened to alter them.

I was bullied at high school, I was an easy target somehow, never included or involved with the popular kids, crap at sports.

As an adult, I get really passionate about certain topics (another trait that I've seen in the young girls I work with). I was also like this as a teenager and would become offended by other peoples views.

I seem to have married a man who has the traits of aspergers; he's a little odd, like me. But he's also quite cold and unfeeling, whereas I'm the opposite.

I'm highly sensitive. To light, sounds. As a child, I would complain that I could hear my parents TV on the lowest volume. My DH is loud and boisterous and unaware of his volume. I get overwhelmed by all the noise of both him and DCs and often want to cry.

One of my DCs is quite hyperactive and I struggle with her jumping around all the time, it makes me feel uneasy, like I'm on a rocky boat.

Im always on MN complaining about people and their ways of doing things- peoples actions impact me too much.

I'm not sure if I'm just highly sensitive or possibly autistic. Any ideas? Is it worth getting a diagnosis? What help might I receive if I got one?

OP posts:
oddworld · 29/01/2021 11:46

A lot of that sounds like me and I'm waiting for my assessment. Have you tried doing the AQ test? It's at www.aspietests.org. You might find some people will say (wrongly) that you can't be autistic if you're affectionate and creative, so it's worth reading a bit about how women can present differently from men, as even health professionals aren't always aware of this. One book I really liked was Sarah Hendrickx Women and Girls with ASD.

There are very long waiting lists on the NHS, but you are entitled to ask your GP to refer you for an assessment if you meet the criteria - have a look at the NICE guidelines and make some notes before speaking to a GP. My GP was fine, but apparently some are not so helpful with adults, and especially women.

As for whether being formally assessed and diagnosed is worth it, that depends on your own feelings and circumstances. A diagnosis won't make a difference in my job, but I want it for my own self-knowledge, to be able to be honest, not have to mask when I don't feel like it, and just have my friends understand why I am like I am. I've mentioned it to a couple of people who said "no, you can't possibly be autistic", so it feels important to me to have it officially confirmed, whereas I know some people feel that self-identifying is enough.

oddworld · 29/01/2021 12:08

Sorry Langloo, I just re-read your post and I see that you have already looked into the different ways girls can present.

I also just wanted to clarity that I didn't mean it's easier to get help for children (not my experience at all as a parent). I just meant that there can be an attitude that if you've coped with life up to adulthood, then you can't be 'autistic enough' to need assessment.

BlackeyedSusan · 31/01/2021 21:44

27 months into the waiting list and just getting "seen" phone conversations. It is exhausting.

BlackeyedSusan · 31/01/2021 21:45

But worth it to finally know one way or another.

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