Autism and new normal - terrifying

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Is anyone else having difficulty with the whole situation? I'm autistic. I can't deal with all this talk of new normal. I can't. I can't do a new normal. I can't deal with all the loss of control which actually seems to be getting worse. There's nowhere to escape to.
Having dark dark thoughts and there's no escape.
The rules make no sense which I can't really handle so my life has shrunk to an incredibly restricted routine and very limited radius.
It feels like no one understands the bits I find hard and feel completely at odds with everyone.

Bottom line is I don't want to be a part of any new normal. I don't want to/can't continue to feel so out of control of my life. There's nothing anyone can say I guess, just looking to see if anyone relates.

I hear you. For me it is never having any time alone, which i really really need.

Say more about what you are finding particularly difficult.

I totally relate. I have ASD. I have been shielding due to health issues, I got ill as lockdown started and haven’t been right since. At first I hated being stuck at home. Now I’m stuck between hating being stuck and wishing I could stay here and stay safe. I can’t go back to work as it’s a high risk area so I have to do something new...fortunately I should be able to work from home (the alternative is to travel to somewhere lower risk but it’s a lot of travelling and I struggle with fatigue. The last thing I need is to be taking on a new role and travelling a lot more). But then when I do go back to my proper job (probably in the spring) I’ll be like a fish out of water again).

I would also like to run away but I can’t. I’m waiting for counselling which I’m hoping will help.

Yay Stevie - not having any time alone is getting to me the most too

I'm also shielding, I can cope with that as I have a fair amount of control of it. As much as possible, anyway.

That should be "yy" not "yay"

Do any of you anticipate it getting better ever?

What exactly are you struggling with?

The 2 Mtr rule
Travel restrictions
Facemask wearing
Being at home more (i take it you dont live alone)

If you tell us, maybe we can suggest solutions.

Change and lack of control.
I don't know that there are any solutions.
Please be gentle.

I do anticipate it being better eventually. I will adjust. I hate change even though sometimes I know it’s necessary. I resent what Covid has brought. I’ve had a rough time with work over the last few years. I had to leave my last job, I finally found a job I liked. I hadn’t been off sick for 9 months. Now I’ve had to go off sick, I’ve not been well since I stopped working and I can’t go back to the job I’d worked so hard to settle in to! So yes I’m frustrated. But I just keep telling myself I’ve lived through all the changes I experienced before. I’ll adjust eventually....

Well, things will always change, it’s the nature of life. Things cant stay the same forever.

In relation to the current crisis though, yes, I believe things will return to a similar state but not exactly the same. Perhaps next year or when a vaccine is found.

Can you tell us in which areas you have a lack of control? Maybe we can suggest solutions or ‘work-arounds.’

I am really struggling with this too.

There are things I've liked about lockdown and furlough, e.g. not having to go anywhere, speak to people, be constantly masking, have visitors in my house. My anxiety has been much reduced compared to pre-lockdown life, though I do find it stressful not having time alone & have to often shut myself in the bedroom and ask people to leave me alone for a bit.

Apart from exercise I've not been out since March, but now we're supposed to be moving into a 'new normal", I am feeling very anxious and stressed about how I'm going to manage. E.g. just the idea of going to a shop and having a whole new set of rules to learn is making me really anxious - not knowing what the layout will be, how will any rules be communicated, how will i know if I'm getting it wrong, what are the rules about queueing, what if people aren't following the rules, how do I know how much I'm expected to relax the rules?

And that's just shops. There will be rules to learn for every different situation - workplace, transport, public loos, all the different social situations, etc, etc. Every time I leave the house there will be a whole different set of rules as well as working out the nuances and interpreting other people's take on each rule. It's just exhausting and makes me never want to go out again.

I think I've spent my whole life observing and learning unspoken rules so I could mask, and now I've got no time at all to absorb completely new ones. At least when I fail at masking, other people just think I'm weird. If I can't get the new rules right then are people going to get aggressive or angry with me and see me as causing danger?

I've no idea what the solution is. I think I'm just going to stay home as much as I can and hope that the old normal comes back at some point. I can work from home probably for the rest of the year, so I'm just putting off working out what to do until then. It's a relief to read this thread and know that it's not just me.

That's part of it I guess - I just can't feel like I know what's going on anymore.
To clarify, I'm not complaining about lock down and the measures taken, I'm not saying that what I am finding impossible is more important than the health effects and deaths occurring.

I've been working full time in the office throughout the whole time and incredibly busy. I don't have anyone else to help me out so I've (obviously) been doing the shop etc. Since mid March I've been to work and back, v occasional walk which usually is to the local shops once per week. About 2 mile radius max. That's just to give context to my situation.

I was coping better in full lockdown to be honest. Now it feels like there's all these changes, more nonsensical rules that I can't get behind, more changes at work. All this talk of new normal and I can see people around me who seem to be thriving on the novelty of everything.
I feel I can't cope with it. And I feel that, as always, it will be the same groups who are not properly considered or involved in creating this new normal way of living - so disabled, autistic, deaf you name it.

What's worse is not having enough information to go on, things changing frequently, so it's hard to make a decision about what to do.

When I got my diagnosis, the nurse assessing me said with Autism, we don’t have the same instincts as NTs. So we can learn to do things that come instinctively to others but it takes time. I feel like I was born without life’s rule book. I’m late 30s now and I have a general idea of the rules in normal life but still struggle (especially at work). Then everything changed. Lockdown happened and although shielding was tough the rules were very clear. Now we’re somewhere in between. I’m not sure what the rules are. Work have told me I need to go back but with new rules. I’m desperately hoping I can work from home so although the work has changed at least I’ll be safe at home by my rules, rather than having to do a new job and have to work with lots of new people in a different place and with different rules!

I do think gradually things will be clearer. I think lockdown had to be eased to appease (most) people and for the economy. But the woolly rules changes, vague guidelines are very difficult for neuro-diverse to navigate. I guess in time we will process them.

Definitely struggling with not being alone. My DParents are great but I know why I moved away. I need alone time and independence

The problem is I don’t have the coping skills to do lockdown or WFH living alone during a pandemic.

The worst thing is that people are very unsympathetic. The general attitude seems to be just get over it or suck it up and I know we all have to deal with it but why the lack of empathy about people who find it harder?

I feel the same. The world is getting so chaotic and unpredictable and I have to establish my own routines or I go mad. I’m a bit of a loner but I miss my friends. I’m terrified about the prospect of food shortages because I’m so used to eating certain foods and I’m not good at changing my diet.

You’re not alone, OP