In my mid forties - Job interviews

[Worstyear2020]

I am a 45 years old mum of three, I have not diagnosed with austism but I know I am on the spectrum, possibly mild, all the online tests seems to suggest I have anyway. I learn my social interactions by copying others. Sadly I still get it wrong after all these years. Lots of memories made me cringe.

My job will move abroad in the next few months, despite I moved to this country since I was twelve, I still struggle with my spoken english. (and grammar!)

Anyway, interviews has always been a challenge for me, all my previous posts were promotions or people recommendations. I never able to convince strangers that I can do the jobs despite passing all the technical tests (I am an engineer, being a middle aged woman doesn't help).

I don't even know why I am posting this, I guess I am after some support? Life being lonely and jobless? Is there anyone out there just like me? Is there a support forum for adults just like me? I feel like I am the only one on earth have issues like this.

Oh well, there's probably not many out there like me, at least I try.

Hi Worstyear2020, I haven't had to attend a job interview in years, but if I had to then I would be terrified and stressed as even if I'm technically competent, I tend to do quite badly when under pressure and scrutiny.

I guess all you can really do is attend interviews and learn from trial and error what seemed to work and what didn't. Look up information online about the commonly asked questions in interviews, especially in engineering sectors. Prepare answers and try to rehearse / remember. Before an interview, research as much as you can about the organisation so you get an idea of their corporate culture and are able to tweak your answers to align better with what they might be looking for.

Do you have a partner or close friend? You can ask them to play the role of an interviewer and ask you potential questions for the jobs you are applying to. It gives you an opportunity to play out the scenario several times and adjust your answers. They can also give you feedback on your performance - maybe you were sitting very rigidly or appeared too anxious and nervous, touching your hair excessively etc. We all have unconscious habits but these can have an impact during stressful situations like interviews.

I don't know if there are specific resources or support for autistics looking for jobs. There might be blogs or websites by other autistic people who share their experiences and advice on how to navigate such scenarios.

It might be worth joining Facebook groups for autistic women to discuss how others might have handled such issues.

Hi NonnyMouse1337,

Thanks for taking time to respond to me, really appreciate it!

I have been practising interviews with my dh, but I can't answers questions that I was not prepared, and I have so much problem of selling myself too... it's hard to explain, my interviews are awkward.

So are you still looking for work or are you a sahp? How does your autism impact you your life?

I will look into facebook groups...

I know what you mean Worstyear2020. If I'm asked anything that I was wasn't expecting - doesn't have to be work or interview related - my mind goes blank and I will sputter something random or bizarre in reply. I tend to be quite honest in my answers so I'm also not good at thinking on the spot of ways to make myself look good or brag about certain abilities or qualities.

I am lucky that I have a full time job. I've been with the same company for the past 9 years and I probably won't look for another job unless I'm made redundant or something. I don't know if I could face job interviews again and adjusting to a new working environment and colleagues. I really struggle with big changes.

I work five days a week, but as I get older I'm really struggling with it. I sort of need a day to completely rest and sleep before I can actually do other things, which makes weekends difficult because I'm either exhausted or it's Sunday afternoon by the time I feel I have some energy to get other things done.
I've actually been really liking being able to work from home these past few weeks. I used to take public transport to get to the office and struggled with all the smells and sounds. It's so tiring and I get headaches a lot because of my sensitivity to smell.

I would ultimately like to work only 3-4 days a week but I am currently not in a position to be able to afford a reduction in income, so will have to keep going somehow.

I try to avoid meeting friends as much as possible. I don't really have the energy to do that in addition to working full time.