ADD / ASD diagnosis or not

[SprinklesandDust]

Hi mumsnetters,

I am fairly sure I have ADD and wondering if I may be autistic. I have done a pretty good job so far (home owner, good job) but it becomes a problem when stressed, or I just "fly under the radar" so to speak. Work life balance can be an issue and relationships (ability to keep one). I was also dx with a (unrelated) condition and need a healthier life structure.

*I am wondering whether to speak to my doctor for an assessment and what should I write down to take with me?

To be honest I'm not that bothered about a dx but it would help me feel better that I won't get fired for incompetence (I'm not, if anything I overwork). If I am.able to have children, it would be helpful to know sooner too.

*Are there helpful books to read about ADD / ASD, particularly in relation to work or relationships?
*How has having a dx been helpful or meaningful?
*What happened after your dx?
*What helps naturally to improve ADD, i.e. without medication?
*Is it the right time for me to seek a dx? (more a pondering). I already have one dx which I haven't fully dealt with. But at the same time, I can't move forward in relationships.

I know I definitely need some kind of therapy. I guess there are three issues I need help with:

Coming to terms with first dx

Feelings about identity
Positive life structure

*What sort of counselling would help? Would a coach be okay?
*I have had cbt before and it helped, I feel like it has to specialist ADD / ASD focused or they won't get what I am talking about, is that true do you think? Does anyone have recommendations?
*Do I have to have the dx before counselling?

The main areas of difficulty for me are structure and emotions. If I pay too much attention to things I am aware of how much uncertainty there is and I can't cope with that, so I find it easier not to pay attention. And round we go. I really need a handhold through the process of discovering my life again.

It is exhausting sometimes. I hadn't even realised how miserable I have made myself trying to fit into society's "expectations". I need some short term positive goals to distract myself from the angst of identity. It feels like as soon as I catch up with myself, I have moved on already

Sorry that's a lot of questions. Sorry for the ranty bit at the end.

taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/2013/03/26/moving-towards-a-female-profile-the-unique-characteristics-abilities-and-talents-of-asperwomen-adult-women-with-asperger-syndrome/

Have a look at this.
I was able to get a diagnosis because it was affecting me at work. I think a gp might need you to make a case for how it affects you.

Hi,

I finally got my diagnosis last week and it came as a huge relief. I'm in my early 50s but it's only while waiting for the diagnosis (it took over a year so plenty of time for reading and self-analysis) that I finally began to understand myself.

I'd start by going to your GP. I didn't take anything with me, but have a lovely GP who was happy to do a referral after a little chat. Others might not be so sympathetic.

The link posted above is really good. You could print it off, highlight anything that you think applies to you and take it to the GP if you feel that you want something to support your gut instinct.

I did loads of reading about women with autism while I was waiting for my assessment. The most helpful book for me was this one:
Nerdy, Shy and Socially Inappropriate by Cynthia Kim.

It explained some of the traits really clearly and help me realised that I've got problems (eg with executive function) that I wasn't even aware of.