Adult AS assessment next week, starting to lose it

[CoolCarrot]

I've posted before under a different name but don't/can't communicate much so never realised my hope of joining in.

My appointment for suspected Asperger Syndrome is next week and I'm starting to feel a bit manic. I don't have a person from my childhood (mid 40s now) apart from a family friend in her 70s who may be able to dictate/write a letter. Her daughter is going to ask her if she remembers anything that could help but says she can struggle at times with her memory so I'm trying not to be too hopeful.

Has anyone been assessed without this person? My letter says that they may not be able to proceed but surely there must be other people in this boat.

I'm desperate to know how the whole thing is going to go but don't want to affect myself with knowledge.

I was assessed without because there was no way I was going to tell my parents at that stage (didn't tell them for a year post-diagnosis) and there was no one else. I turned up with several pages of notes that I'd typed up about why I felt I was autistic and that and my hour or so's interview was enough to convince them (apparently I was a clear cut case despite the fact that people generally in life don't realise unless I tell them). I'm sure you'll be fine. Try jotting down some notes beforehand of things you remember from when you were younger that might be relevant but don't worry if you can't - all I had was a reliance on one friend, inability to socialise and stuff like that.

I was assessed recently without an informant and I also completely freaked out as the letter I got had a bold sentence stating I MUST bring such a person. Not good for the anxiety.

But it was OK and I got my (much hoped for) diagnosis.

Where are you being assessed? (obviously you may not want to disclose this on a public forum which I completely understand)

I did write lots of notes - loads of them - and as the AQ50 was part of the screening before they put me on waiting list, I made sure I had my results with an explanation as to why I selected particular responses.

The wait is a killer. I am not going to say don't worry, as it's pointless, but a good assessor can diagnose without an informant.

Thank you both. I really appreciate you taking the time to reply.

Nike, I hope your parents are supportive now they know.

This> I MUST bring such a person - I am consoling myself with the fact it doesn't say call us if you can't bring someone. That would have caused a major meltdown. If I get there then it should be obvious.

I'm going to bargain the fact the letter stated a map was included and it wasn't. That nearly blew my mind as much as the appointment! I've drawn my own map on the back of the letter. I love maps.

The jittery manic is because D Day is in sight. I want it done and never done all at the same time. Schrödinger's Assessment.

I started a notebook when the letter arrived as it was a Liftoff moment and I've actually added to it each day. I've now made sections, separated with hobby related colour co-ordinated post its, for quirks/habits and childhood.

Rather than researching this for hours which is my usual method of dealing with something I am going to record my thoughts and feelings as best I can. How I avoided my lovely neighbour today with military precision because I just can't handle another noise in my head with so much going on in there.

Wonder if I should print out everything I have on my last big obsession into a folder.. How far to go without it looking practiced or try hard. Oh goodness me. Please forgive the word avalanche.

SW for me Sweary. The mission of an hours drive from rural isolation to the big city before the day of assessing even begins. That's a good idea about the AQ50 and explanations. I will print a copy and do that.

Print it out. My print out was VAST! I mean super vast. It had chapters and appendices.

I needed it. I needed to be able to conceive of every single thing they could have asked me. She didn’t even look at it. Gutted. But not as it’s there and I always will have it.

Really good luck - keep us posted if you want. And if you need to chat more then, I will try to help.

I've now made sections, separated with hobby related colour co-ordinated post its, for quirks/habits and childhood.
It had chapters and appendices.
Is it weird that just reading these comments get me all happy & excited?! I love organising things like this.

Nikephorus

No! not weird - sensible, logical and rational.

Ordering my thoughts has helped me immensely. I keep a journal now - I do CBT - and I read (parts of) it at my sessions. It really helps.

ring them and have that melt down. it will only help with the diagnosis.

I have no one to bring to mine either, if I bloody get htat far.

dad is dead and mum is in a care home and not particularly with it any more. she is too anxious and frail to travel. also with the waiting list she might possibly be dead by the time I get to the top of the list. (if I get on it)

the waiting room at the Gp wwas ordeal enough the buzzing air con machine, some teen boy in stinky spray, and fluorescent lights. I was busy trying to stim inconspicuously.

@CoolCarrot how are you doing? Did it all go ok?

Thank you @BlackeyedSusan.

I don't think it went well . Because I said I recognised when people are angry and that I had left a potentially abusive relationship because I saw signs of agression she said I can't be on the spectrum.

She was contacting my younger sister to see if she could give her any information from when I was a child but I have checked with her and she has not yet had contact.

Basically all signs say yes but i'm are too good at picking up anger/agression/irritation.

It was very confusing and upsetting and I am only now starting to feel my strength come back and it has been a week.

I have found research by Simon Baron-Cohen where he he did emotion recognition training with people with ASD and their perception improved so I am going to continue with looking into things like that and print off anything I think is relevant.

I hadn't realised last week was just part one of the process so have to go back in 6-12 weeks so more stress and frustration ahead.

Thank you again for the replies here, I really appreciate it.

Hi coolcarrot
Are you still waiting to hear more?
I've just had my assessment at the end of July - there was a questionnaire beforehand to be filled in by a parent, and the letter stated you should bring someone with you. I stuck a post-it on it saying that a) my parents live in another country and b) I wouldn't speak to them about it. Also went to my assessment alone, was told it might make diagnosis trickier but not impossible.
Have been to the feedback session today and got my ASD diagnosis. Feeling very relieved to finally 'know'! I hope it will work out for you too; it can absolutely be done without family member input, just try and remember everything you can from your childhood.
P. S. I'm late thirties if that's relevant

Because I said I recognised when people are angry and that I had left a potentially abusive relationship because I saw signs of aggression she said I can't be on the spectrum

That's utter rubbish.
Alongside you don't have autism because
you can make eye contact
you can show empathy
you don't look autistic

What qualifications did that person have? What experience do they have of diagnosing autism in women? Do they even know women present differently ?

As a child not recognising anger in another person is fair enough, dd would say "But why are they shouting?"
However, an autistic adult that's self-aware enough to ask for a diagnosis or at least a large percentage of them can recognise anger, they may not fully understand why a person is angry or whether they have inadvertently done something to make a person angry, but they can usually recognise the behaviour of anger in another person.

Dd was dxd with ASC as an adult by a Clinical Psychologist after consultation with her team of SLT and I can't remember who else but it was a team effort.