where is the community for autistic mothers?

[iwishicouldbelikedavidwatts]

i could really do with "finding my tribe" but i don't know where to look.

i genuinely can't do facebook - i've tried multiple times under various alter-egos but i find it overwhelming and intrusive. i can do twitter but i'm old and "grew up" with forums and i don't quite understand how it works in a group sense.

i'm an ancient mumsnetter but it's so huge and impersonal and fast-paced now.

are there any "safe" spaces?

Didn't actually answer the question. I am a stay at home Mum.

DP is right I never give a straight answer!

LetsPlay if you’re content, do you need to find work? Obviously if it is for the money then that is one thing, but don’t do it out of pressure or expectation.

This book is for 8-12 years olds. We’ll see if it pans out. The masters isn’t in creative writing, no. It’s in my degree specialism. A way of starting to do something as the children got older. I’m quite pleased that I’ve done the first year of it. Usually I give up when things get difficult, this is the first thing that I’ve managed to keep going with.

Which Tony Atwood is it you are reading?

I’d exercise some caution about too many suspicions about your daughter, of course it is possible, but at that age all kids look a bit autistic. I’ve diagnosed all my boys in my head and only one of them looks likely and is in no way struggling at school or with life, so we’re leaving it for now. 3 year olds are mini dictators with no flexibility, no social skills and a pathological need for their own way! Hope that reassures you a bit! Not that I’m trying to stick my oar in.

Right, off to try and do some typing whilst the boys are arguing in the other room....

I hope the book does well oddgirl.

I don't know if I need to work tbh! It would be for money. I have found it hard relying on dp but also it is becoming an area for friction. He will says there's no money. Then he talks about joining the gym. Well is there no money or not? Obviously he earns the money, and I want him to be healthy, I have no objection to him spending money on a gym membership but I am here in need of a hair cut thinking best not ask for money as there isn't any! I get a bit of money from him so I can pick up food or take dd to a club or whatever but it would soon be gone if clothes or hair cuts came into it. I would quite like to have the one more year at home before little one starts school.

I'm reading his Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome. Thank you so much for your comment on youngsters having asd traits!! I really appreciate it. Yes no flexibility is a bit one! I just read one sentence it's not like he even expands on it. I am quite worried for dd in terms on the impact I must have had on her even if she doesn't have it. The book has opened my eyes to the concept of using your intellect instead of intuition to do things. That explains things for me right down to my way of choosing previous boyfriends!

How is everyone's week going? It's far too hot for me and my fair skin!

Hi

I'm here too for chat. I also don't/can't cope with any type of structured work. I always thought I was a free spirit but now realise I can't cope with the fact that any of the structure might fail- if hay makes sense?

I'm very very fortunate to have a supportive family.

I'm struggling at the moment though with some things- does anyone else feel completely overwhelmed by house jobs?! I have no ability to make sense of any of it, which is strange from a person who is super organised, can't ever be late or miss an appointment.

My kids have lots of activities which I have learned to cope with, but if they have something on in the evening the whole day is wasted by me thinking about it and focusing on it, worrying about it, and sometimes I can't even prepare a meal because all I can focus on is the evening activity, how I will get there, have everything, be on time.

It sounds so ridiculous but it's very distressing and destructive!!!!

Please tell me i am not alone

Hi Butty, your family support sounds so nice.

Sometimes I feel very overwhelmed by all the things I have to do in the house when the day before I will have been totally chilled thinking there wasn't much needed doing. That always bugs me when it's my mood that seems to have switched rather than the reality of jobs.

When I was younger I absolutely used to find myself getting angsty as the day went on when I needed to be somewhere late on. IT did occupy me and I couldn't relax. I was worried I would feel this way when I took a part-time job last year as my shifts didn't start till 3pm -but I never did. I think purely because I was so desperate for time away from dd that I looked forward to it immensely

I struggle to prepare a meal full stop. If the house is empty (v rare) I can focus a bit better but I am terrible almost all the time.

Have you tried CBT? I have heard it can be very helpful for changing negative thought patterns.

butty - you are not alone, I also feel overwhelmed by 'house jobs' and can waste whole days (generally needlessly) worrying/thinking about later events while at the same time being highly organised and analytical

That is exactly me!!!

Banboozled - yes I've never understood how I can wake up great and things get harder as the day goes on, and by evening I am exhausted
Just by life and outside stimulus.

I've never understood why I can't organise my kids wardrobes or mine, but I can plan an itinerary for
Many people down to the second and make sure everyone follows through with it.