How do I handle play dates?

[Kingsclerelass]

I have Aspergers and accepted, a long time ago that I am not good at social stuff and that I get on much better on my own. I have two sisters who understand me and a job I love, so I've given up trying to extend my social circle. It's just not worth the grief.
However, I have a Ds who gets invited to play dates and I have to deal with other mums.
I badly want Ds to have a good time and all his friends around him, but the other mums expect me to stop & chat. I know from long experience that is a bad idea. I don't want to cock things up for ds and I don't want (have never wanted) to be rude. I am a single mum so no support from ex.
How do I handle this?

Could you have some phrases ready in advance incase of small talk? I have a dreadful track record in making awful first impressions so I'm really trying to improve. I've found that watching videos online about learning social skills has helped me to be more aware of the mistakes that I make. It's a total minefield though so I completely get where you're coming from.

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I dread it. I am trying to get better at it but don't feel comfortable. I don't really mind for myself, but it's not fair my issues impact ds.

I'll check out the videos - thanks. I hadn't thought of that.

Safe topics as far as I can tell, are to praise the other person's children and admire their house/food/. Keep anything else to one sentence and don't express an opinion.

Sounds good, just keep it light. You can express an opinion though, I'm sure that you're no worse than me My big bad habit is monologuing about an interest, once I get started it's hard to stop.

It might be an option for you to be open about your ASD. I am with most parents of DCs’ friends. It helps that my DS has ASD and so do a few of his friends. I can otherwise find small talk very hard. But, as with anything else, it gets better with practice. The thing I still get wrong a lot is tone, and sometimes sound like I’m being sarcastic when I’m not.

Springer, you are very brave. I don't generally tell people.

My parents' view - a long time ago, before most people had heard of autism - wasn't sympathetic. The only person I have told recently in RL is my now-ex and he said it was just a lame excuse for attention seeking. No wonder he's an ex. I've not told anyone since.

I'll rehearse some chat and try to keep it short.

Once your ds is a bit older it will be a lot easier to dump and run. Are you happy having kids round your house? People do expect invites to be reciprocal so you will need to take it in turns.

Yes, I'm fine with other dcs. I take them swimming or up to the common with their bikes. That and home made cake works.

I'm dropping off at a play date on bank holiday Monday. Trying not to overthink it now.