will a private diagnosis be detrimental (in terms of NHS)

[Fobber]

Right. I was diagnosed (HFA/Asperger's profile) last year at age 43. Very strongly suspect DD (7) is the same. The few people who know (including a Senco friend and DD's class teacher, also a Senco) don't see it. She is a very bright child and stores her most quirky behaviour up for when she is at home. I am certain she fits the criteria, my husband is on board too (after lots of explaining and my own diagnosis).

I know NHS waits are long. Am also not sure I can get my point across as neither I nor she "seem autistic" (quoting Senco and husband's paediatric psychiatrist cousin ).

We would be able to pay for a private assessment (eg Lorna Wing). My big worry is though that this may not be recognised by the school or local authority and possibly bar us from further / other NHS help.

Any words of advice? Thanks so much.

Could you ask your school and GP?

You might fare better than you think with the school. My DS has been referred even though he doesn't really show his quirks or anxiety at school much. It was largely on the basis of me saying what was happening at home to the SENCo and saying that I suspected autism was the cause because I'm autistic too.

I have to say that I clearly don't yet know if DS would meet the diagnostic criteria for autism. But I am getting help and support now.

Lorna Wing is an NHS approved centre and school, GP etc can not refuse their diagnosis. School must accept it, GP and CAMHS must accept it. My daughter, nearly 7, has had referral to CAMHS and they said they suspect maybe ASD but will do anxietycourse first (I work in an SEN autism specific school and have more anxiety training than them) and a course to make sure I’m not a shitty mum! Oh and the pathway to diagnosis is 3-5 years.
My daughter has crap social skills and social communication and is so obsessive. She compartmentalises everything and everyone. She has epilepsy, a stutter and social anxiety and it’s all being blamed on that!
I don’t have the money to pay for it but will take out a loan and sell my kidney.
I don’t want a diagnosis for the sake of it...she needs helps and now before she’s in secondary school and is still the weird kid!

Thanks, Sarah, for the reassurance.

I think we will do the private assessment. It is expensive but will save so much time (and associated stress) it seems.

All the best.

And thank you to the other two posters as well.

It's so hard seeing your child suffer. I know what the matter is and though I know school can't do all that much, I do feel a diagnosis is needed to validate what I'm saying so they don't keep pulling the old "bad parenting" card and let her have sensory breaks and make certain other accommodations for her.