Daughter just diagnosed as autistic, could I be too?

[ObsessionalConfessional]

Hi,

Will try not to make this too long! My 16 year old daughter was diagnosed as autistic last week, I haven't had a final report yet however she would definitely be classed as high functioning/Asperger's.

A lot of the questions that I was asked about my daughter during this process have led me to look at myself and my own childhood, and how I am as an adult. I did initially think that maybe she had got it from her dad, but now I'm not so sure!

To start with, I have 3 sisters and have always been considered the black sheep - weird/odd if you like! A bit socially inept and a bit of a loner, very happy in my own company while craving the acceptance of others. Very non cuddly. Basically fit the profile in terms of social chit chat, bluntness etc. I could go on but it would take ages!!

The part about obsessions also chimes true, I've had a lifelong obsession with horses, also reading, and as a sideline have been obsessed with saddles for about the last 5 years, I could reel off a tonne of information about it all day long and the obsession doesn't get old- it's so stupid but I can't help it, it's almost like a compulsion!! Sidelong obsessions I've also had have been around arbitrary objects such as sewing machines or tents- I'm basically an expert on a load of crap inanimate subjects that NO ONE else is interested in

I won't go on any further now, but wanted to hear from anyone who was diagnosed as an adult? I've read that people say it doesn't help, however for me I think it might actually explain away the feeling of being odd that I've had for my entire life.

Sounds possible.

I was diagnosed privately last year at the age of 43. I found it incredibly validating and enabled me to let go of a lot of guilt and a general sense of failure over not achieving certain things (mostly career-related). I can be kinder to myself now and accept my limitations without trying to, or wishing I could, be different. I am happier being me and focusimg on my strengths.

On the other hand, there is no support for adults post-diagnosis. I saw my GP about it but they were only able to prescribe anti-anxiety meds and anti-depressants, which help a bit with my social anxiety. No counselling available on NHS as I went private.

I am also hurting over the loss of a friendship, which I hadn't expected. I think it is because I told this person about this diagnosis but they backed right off despite having worked in childcare including special needs for many years. I thought they'd understand but they don't. People can be funny.

Overall, it has been a positive step for me though and I wouldn't want to go back to not knowing.

Yes it's likely. Have you tried doing the test and being honest with your responses?

I found it a complete revelation that's helped me understand and forgive myself.

Is there a fairly reliable online test test that can be done as a starting point?

You can start with the AQ-50 and AQ-10 which are used for adult screening but are not diagnostic. The NHS uses the AQ-10 in some areas to determine whether you need to go on for further assessment.

There's a blog called Musings of an Aspie that goes through all the tests and the pros/cos of each one, with links to the tests. It can help you to work out if you think you are autistic, but none of the tests are diagnostic on their own.