Autistic parents of NT children

[spottyautie]

I can't be the only autistic parent of an NT child... I just don't seem to find anyone else in this situation.

I can't share with parents of autistic children because my experience is so different but challenging in reverse I guess.

I am a good parent but I worry that I'm damaging my child's friendships by being autistic and have no-one to share my neurosis with. I can't advise my child with usual primary school relationship dramas because I haven't a clue about them and my tiny house makes play dates difficult (not to mention struggling with people in my house)

I'm not 'out' in public and can hide the autism very well but that's only short term then I revert to stimming and pacing and weird behaviour. My child is fantastic and accepts me as I am and is brilliant at keeping me in check in public (isn't it sad I have to say that). I worry that my child will grow up to be ashamed of me or angry at me for being so different and that I will destroy their ability to socialise because I cannot teach them how to do it as I don't have any friends myself to be a role model.

What do other autistic parents on a limited budget do with their NT children

I have 3 kids, only the eldest is autistic. I don't get involved in relationship dramas. I just teach them to be themselves and I listen when they need to sound off. I've rarely had to give advice as such. Normally they just want to get everything out.

I've tried to become friends with school mums but I do find it hard. I say hi to a few but that's about it. I joined the PTA which was a massive and terrifying thing for me but it helped me be more confident in the school and with other parents. I don't volunteer for anything I can't cope with (they know I don't do discos for instance) but I have found a few things I can do to help which I've enjoyed.

I don't do playdates because I can't cope. I find that if I take the kids out the NT ones just seem to know how to talk to people. It amazes me. I take them to the park and they just go nuts being kids and chattering away to random other kids etc. The same at school. Both my NT kids have a big group of friends. DD is happy in a group of about 6 kids with about 3 more on the fringes of it, youngest DS talks to anyone and everyone and has about 4 or 5 good friends. In contrast my eldest has 2 friends and they are both tentative friendships at times.

As for activities we do free museums, parks, walks. At home we play video games, board games and watch movies. Sometimes we bake or cook together.

I have a mixture of NT and not kids. The NT ones are more political, more naggy, more manipulative

My oldest is grown up now and I know that she appreciates that I will always help her, always listen, always take her concerns seriously and that home is a constant for her. I think she thinks I am "cute" though.

Play dates can be at the park with a picnic. We have a co

Continuing - a country park where the kids could run and be noisy. Museum days are good. Free activities. Kids can dress up, or do craft etc while you hang around on the edge looking at stuff.

PTA was good for me too. I made some friends there who all have one ND kid and one NT kid. It's recently dawned on me that we all have our own issues too.